Catered for 8 and no one showed up

[TheFailedCaterer]

I was in tears all of last night and I know shit happens but I’m so so annoyed.

Solid group of 6. 2 have partners, 4 singles, none of us have kids. For the past few weeks everyone has been seriously discussing meeting up as it’s the 5 year mark of us graduating Uni and going out into the working world.

We decided on yesterday. I and another woman initially wanted to go to a pub/restaurant but some others suggested that we’d do a BBQ instead. My house was the most “centrally” located for everyone so we decided that I’d host it.

Yesterday morning one of the group said in the group chat that she was tired so she and her boyfriend would be cancelling. 2 more cancelled, one due to it being a long week at work and one due to her niece being sick.

Someone then said that now that there’s 3 of us left should we take a rain check! The other one agreed so the whole event is now postponed to who knows when! I wouldn’t have minded but I bought so much food. They picked out the food (was taking pics and sending it on the group chat while they chose which ones they wanted) and it included things like a whole sushi platter that can’t be bloody kept and brisket/seafood that are fresh and I’ll never finish on my own.

AIBU to be completely pissed off? We all get tired but it feels so selfish to me to cancel at the last minute like this.

I was once invited round to someone for a BBQ with my three kids. She flaked out at the last minute and cancelled because her DH had invited someone else and it clashed. I was on holiday and left to scramble around for a table at a restaurant to get the kids fed. This ‘friend’ has form for flaking out. I’m not making any effort with her whatsoever again.

I think this happens a lot, esp in the digital world we live in. Most people tend to live more of their lives on social media than in the real world, we have every TV and movie at our fingertips, can order food delivered, etc. What I'm saying is if we don't want to we don't have to leave the house and I think given the option, many people would choose to not make the effort if they don't have to, I know I've made that choice on countless occasions. I think that's what happened here, people took the easy way out. It is what it is and expect more of it but definitely don't offer to host again, let someone else deal with the work and the cost.

They all have really pathetic “excuses” and were selfish. They just didn’t want to go, that’s all. I hate it when people blame “a long week at work”, it’s ridiculous to let your job rule your social life like that. I’m sorry but I think you need better friends.

I imagine op is over it by now, given it was a year and a half ago

Oh, I’m so sorry OP. How awful of them 😢