to expect dd to tolerate her brothers playing while she's trying to sleep?

[Mastmw7g]

My 10 year old likes to sleep late, but her brothers wake up early and play in the mornings. They make noise when they play. I think it's a good thing because they're spending time together and not on screens. But dd keeps getting upset that they wake her up. Then she comes out of her room and it starts a fight and dh gets upset because that wakes him up and he also likes to sleep late.

@Mastmw7g why does DH get a say in what time your children get up in the morning and what they do if he’s not around and opting out of parenting.

kids learn by example and I don’t think him opting out of morning life with his children. Is really on or setting a good example to the kids.

Sleeping until 10 is ridiculous at that age. I certainly wouldn’t be asking her siblings to creep around the house to please her. Tell her to go to bed earlier!

All those saying adults should go to bed early on a Friday night so they can be up at the crack of dawn on Saturday….

sometimes some people will go out on a Friday night! Like out with mates to the pub, or whatever. Yes, even parents do that sometimes!!

An adult with 3 children though? Every weekend in bed until 11am. That's half the day gone. No adult needs 11 hours in bed if he's going to bed around midnight.

I think everyone could get what they want here. Boys go downstairs and watch TV or play XBox etc with the volume at a reasonable level, DH and DD get a lie in, if OP wants a weekend lie in then take it in turns with DH.

My DDs are 18 and 14 now and started wanting a bit of a lie in at the weekends (hurrah!) when they each got to Y6 (so age 10) and certainly by Y7. DD2 was ery much going through puberty in Y6 and was 5'1 in September and 5'7" a year later, so she certainly needed a lot of sleep as her body was working overtime doing all that growing!

Personally I get up 5.30am three days a week and 6am two days, and earn a six figure salary as CEO of a small organisation, so while I love the job it has its demands, and I really appreciate waking up naturally at about 8.30am on a Saturday then sometimes lounging around and dozing and dreaming a bit more. I find it really helps my mental health and I ached for that ten years ago at 38 when I had far less energy, mental & physical, than now. DH often gets up just after me, sometimes before. I still get laundry, hoovering and bathrooms done and go to the gym on a Saturday, and usually watch the afternoon football game on Sky, so I think it's pretty productive & relaxing, personally.

I also go to the gym a further two times in the week and do a yoga class, so I don't think I'm exactly lazy or "wasteful" of my time. Personally I think plenty of downtime is productive, and lack of it is counterproductive, and I often dream up or think of work solutions on a Saturday morning while ostensibly I'm lazing about in bed. I'm also writing a novel and get loads of ideas when dreaming or dozing.

Basically this is a thread of sanctimonious early risers who are too ignorant to realise not everyone has the same body clock.

The idea that waking up at 10am meaning that half the day is gone is ridiculous, unless those posters go back to bed early afternoon? And it's not automatically lazy either - e.g. being awake 8-8 or 10-10 is the same hours. So why do some posters think it's morally better to be up early?

Half the day is gone in winter. You have barely any daylight hours left. Unless there are plenty of activities for children out side in the pitch black and rain?

This^
My Dh and Dd never get up early. Ever. If we go out, we go in the afternoon and extend into the evening.

Dh says he hits hits his stride at 5pm. Dd hits hers at 9pm. I hit mine at 10.30 am. I’ve never had breakfast in bed because they’re always both fast asleep.

Of course the boys are more important. 😒

No way this thread is real.
BUT if it is, your 'd'h needs to stop being so entitled he has 3 kids ffs and your daughter is turning into her dad. 8am is perfectly normal for kids to be up playing and making noise and frankly we should be encouraging that more than 'morning tv'. And tell your dd when to go to bed, at a decent time, you are her mother not her buddy.

Yes you’re being unreasonable and so are your sons, and so are the virtuous early risers on here. weekends are for rest, relaxation and fun before the monotony of Monday morning. Is your daughter making a noise and spoiling the early to bed crew’s sleep? That’s also unreasonable.
Going to bed early and waking early doesn’t make you a better person than someone who goes to sleep later and enjoys a lie in. You’re wasting the evening by going to bed early just as much as someone is wasting the day by having a lie in.
From a 40 something who loves a lie in (and a late night).

I think it depends on whether you let them use screens at all. If you do, then it is unreasonable to allow them to use screens to benefit you or DH getting things done or for peace and quiet but then not allowing them for DD.

I think in your shoes I'd keep things quiet until 9am but tell DH he needs to be up by then (and, IMO, ought to he sharing the load but that's not what you've asked). DD needs to be told that if a 9am wake up is giving her the rage then she needs to sleep earlier and if she won't regulate herself then as her parent you will do it for her and she will be back to an enforced bed and sleep time. I think being in bed by 8pm is very early though, I wonder if she is getting over stimulated because bedrooms are supposed to be for sleep. I also think she is put to bed early so she doent disturb her brothers so it's only fair it works the other way around.

It doesn't sound like the boys are fighting... it's your daughter waking up and then causing the rows? If that is correct.. I would set a reasonable time before which the boys should be quiet, after that. If family members want to stay in bed, they may have to live with the noise. You could consider having them play downstairs until everyone is awake.

To counter some of the heat ref comments on bed time and sleeping late .... It's a scientific fact that as our hormones come in we sleep late - there were, a few years back, discussions about whether senior school should start later because of it. Maybe your DD falls into this camp?

Ref your other DCs of course they're going to make noise when playing. They could be quieter - ask them and/or your DD could wear ear plugs.

That’s really nice that your boys want to play together and no screens are involved. Can’t believe PPs saying make them watch TV! Your DD is being unreasonable, she needs to go to bed earlier if she needs more sleep. Why should they tiptoe around her?

The problem here is that the bedrooms open onto the play space. There is nothing unreasonable about the boys playing from 8am. It's hardly the crack of dawn. But playing outside the others bedroom door is going to be irritating.

Your DH's aversion to toys being downstairs is unreasonable in this scenario. The boys need to be able to play down there. If he's still in bed, what's it to him?

What the hell is a 10-yr old doing in bed at TEN A.M.??!!
Recharge? She wasn't doing NYC hedge fund deals until midnight on Friday!
Whatever time she's IN bed at, she's very clearly doing things other than sleep. Sneaking a screen in?
And then suddenly has to get up at 7 a.m. again on Monday? Not surprised she doesn't like school, with a timetable that's gone to shit.

Maybe it´s good she gets woken up a bit earlier in that case. Or she would go to bed even later...

I think I would tell your DC that they can start playing a bit more noisly at 8.30 / that you expect a quiet house until 8.30.

That will teach your DSs to play quietly and and be responsible. And it will mean that your DD won´t feel completely unheard.

There's an open room all their bedrooms open up to and it's being used as a place for them to play and watch tv. I could move the toys downstairs, though dh might balk at a bunch of magnetic tiles and legos out in our adult space. But that would probably solve the fighting, which wakes him up. I could also do a better job of keeping everyone quiet since I'm up early, too.

I do however find this rather surprising! Are you saying that your living room is an "adult" space and the children are expected to keep all their "childishness" away?
Do you have a separate family room? Or do you just not have a living room that is meant to be shared by everyone / for the whole family?

It is perfectly common for teenagers to sleep until about 10. And there will be a LOT of arguments (and sleep deprivation) if they will be continued to be woken up at 8 every weekend. I am therefore unsure if the current set-up will be sustainable long term.

Why would she tiptoe around them? Let her make as much noise as she likes in the evening keeping them awake, then they can all sleep in together

Equally what on earth is wrong with them watching TV or playing on devices at the weekend? I sat in front of the TV for hours every Saturday watching Saturday Superstore then Going Live as a kid/teenager and I've turned out ok!

It would be very unfair to say "tough luck" or "just go to bed earlier" to the DD, while DH does the same and more.

She spends the hours reading, that's hardly a crime, and some people just much prefer reading in the evening than in the morning.

Toys downstairs for weekend morning sounds the easiest.

Maybe she's in puberty. Do you know anything about ten year old girls or was that just a brain fart?

I don´t necessarily disagree. But she will be a teenager in a few short years.
And the older DS may very well develop sleeping habits common for many (most?) teenagers as well.
EDIT: I understand that sleeping rhythms change with puberty. But having regular bedtimes and a steady sleep routine can still be helpful. Especially at 10...

It seems unreasonable to keep the shared playing space between their rooms when there´s a living room downstairs.
It might cause quite a lot of conflict between the siblings and it would be unfair in regards to the needs of a young(er) child and the teenagers.

Your DS’s go to bed at a reasonable time, your DD clearly doesn’t and expects everyone to be quiet until 10 to compensate for her late night. I’m afraid I’d have to explain to DD that she needs to go to sleep earlier, I don’t think the house should centre around your DD.

This is a good idea.

Maybe have a "morning crate" which goes diwnstairs just for weekend mornings but stays upstairs the rest of the time?

It's important to teach your sons to be considerate of other people, and not to need a (usually female) other person to remind them that other people have needs. Giving them a place to go and play that won't wake up other people, and expecting them to learn to do the actual thinking themselves is better than you taking responsibility to keep them quiet. Think of a reward the family can share to celebrate if DD and DH get enough sleep next weekend, to help them learn.