to expect dd to tolerate her brothers playing while she's trying to sleep?

[Mastmw7g]

My 10 year old likes to sleep late, but her brothers wake up early and play in the mornings. They make noise when they play. I think it's a good thing because they're spending time together and not on screens. But dd keeps getting upset that they wake her up. Then she comes out of her room and it starts a fight and dh gets upset because that wakes him up and he also likes to sleep late.

Hang on, so your ‘D’H, father of 3 children, chooses to stay up late, then moans when they wake him up before 11am???! And you’re questioning if you should be keeping everyone quiet because you are up at a NORMAL time with 2 of the children?!
Next time, say “well if you went to bed at a normal time, not only would you not be interrupted from your slumber but you’d actually be awake to do some parenting in the morning rather than leaving me to do it all?”
As for the 10 year old, entirely yours and H’s doing for not enforcing a proper bedtime. Tell her she can’t have 2 bites at the cherry. She can’t go to bed late and expect to not get woken up before she’s had enough sleep. 10 is too young to be choosing her own bedtime.

My teenager is the same. I’ve been very very strict in terms of bedtime and WiFi going off when I go to bed.

your DD having a consistent bedtime 7days a week will be more beneficial for her in the long run. she needs to stop being an arse about being woken up and go to bed earlier. You need to encourage this as the parent. The world cannot be on her schedule.

your DH needs to stop being an arse and sleeping in when he is still a parent to 3 kids and should be helping out not staying up late leaving it all to you in the AM. He could be taking the boys to the park to let them burn off some energy (8am isn’t too early for the park. Adhd kid here, it was the norm for us to have a morning park visit)

The boys need to learn to play more calmly and if that’s not possible see above.

calmness until 8am is reasonable.

if your boys were up at 5-7am on a sat and being loud it would be a different argument entirely.

Another vote for dd needing to go to bed earlier. It’s actually much better for people to have a consistent sleeping and waking up time. Have a Google. 8am is a reasonable time for the household to be awake

How is it a waste of a weekend if that's what someone enjoys doing?

Why are we all so preoccupied with being up early and doing stuff and being busy? Downtime is important too. I love my Saturday lie in, it helps me feel rested after a busy week.

It's a real shame to see that these attitudes still exist. People used to get up with the sun, as there wasn't electric light. Times have changed. Some people are night owls and function better late into the night. That doesn't mean they're wasting their weekend!

Oh for goodness sake! Staying up late and then sleeping in is part of the joy of the weekends.

I am a morning person, and get up at 5am whatever. But when I have guests, no way would I be making noise until they were awake! I'm often sat here watching TB with headphones and blogging while I wait for everyone else to get up. That's the considerate thing to do, and those boys need to be taught consideration.

How many threads do we see about inconsiderate men on here? And yet when a mother is asking how to proceed when her daughter is being woken by her inconsiderate boys, she's told to teach the daughter to suck it up.

The daughter is not upsetting anyone (except a bunch of MN randomers) by sleeping in. The boys are upsetting her by making a noise.

It's clear who needs to be changing their behaviour here.

Not making big noises before say 8am is reasonable.

Expecting young DCs - boys or girls- to be quiet until 10am is ridiculous.

It's nothing to do with them being boys and her being a girl, it's just about normal household standards.

10am is late for a 10 year old, if she wants that sort of lie in she needs to learn how to sleep through interruptions or get ear plugs.

DS- late teen - enjoys a late night or two these days, doesn't mean I won't be vacuuming at 9am if that's on the agenda.

Eight o'clock is not extra early.
Agree on a quiet play time until about 8:30 am on a weekend. Teach the brothers to read a clock.
Have your ten year old into bed before 8:00 pm on a school night and 9:00 pm on other nights. She shouldn't need to sleep in after 9:00 am.

Loud arguing and fighting is not indoor behaviour.
I would send all the kids outside if they forget to use their indoor voices.

Your husband sleeping late doesn't help things. I would only encourage him one sleep in day per week - until about 9:00am.
He'll be able to sleep in every day in his nursing home, once the kids are long gone.

Lateliein · Today 05:58
**
They should learn respect for others. Just watch morning TV ffs.”

Surely that works both ways? 8am in a family house is fine.
Why does your husband get to sleep late?

How is sleep a 'house standard'? What is virtuous about being up earlier than someone else?

Daughter is getting to puberty, and her sleep patterns will be changing naturally. It's not like she's out partying - she's in bed with a book!

It's not healthy for a 10 year old to be sleeping in that late, particularly in the winter when there are fewer daylight hours. We need to be outside in morning light before 10am where possible. Unless there has been a social event the night before, she should be sleeping at night not in the day. I would check on her and insist on lights out at 10, she is likely reading past midnight. 8am is a reasonable time for normal household noise.

Oh interesting I thought we were quite normal to sleep until 9am at least on weekends (DD is 7) but clearly not! I don’t think it will change though, we are all capable of getting up earlier if we have plans but when we don’t it’s nice to relax and sleep in.

OP I think your easiest solution here is to just get the boys to play downstairs and not right outside her door.

You already have your answer - move their play downstairs. We’re a mix of owls and larks in our house and there is reasonable adjustment and respect on both sides. Some people need more sleep than others and I’m not out of bed at weekends until at least 9. I wouldn’t tolerate my youngest early riser making a racket outside my door when there are other spaces available to her. But then she wouldn’t because she understands that her older sister and I both sleep later at weekends and she takes her noise downstairs.

Some people think they're missing out on half their weekend getting up at 10am, others think they're missing out on half their weekend going to bed early.

As long as all those saying the DD is being unreasonable are happy for the DD to make as much noise as she likes until she wants to sleep - i.e. as suits her body clock, then that's fine. Otherwise you're all massive hypocrites. Different people need different amounts of sleep and different amounts of time to unwind when they go to bed.

Sleep is vital for everyone but especially children so let her sleep as long as she needs and tell your kids to stop being so noisy.

This is what I was going to say

Yes weekends are nice to chill/wake up /sleep in

Equally maybe dd needs to go to bed
Earlier by an hour so can wake for 9

This! ‘Waste the day’ - often a nice aim of the weeekend is having a lie in followed by a leisurely breakfast. That’s exactly how I want ro spend the morning and it’s therefore, not wasted.

OP it’s a tricky one and will get harder I expect as your daughter becomes a teenager. Maybe offer to buy some ear plugs and agree quieter play until 9:30?

I don’t think the time is actually the problem though, it’s just being woken up by noise is inherently annoying, whether than be 6am or 11am.

For all those saying it’s not ‘normal’ for a 10 year old to want to sleep in, it can be hormone based. Some kids when they start heading towards and then become teens need extra sleep. Dad should certainly be up or at least one morning and let the op sleep in one weekend day. The mornings my children are at their dads I’ll happily sleep in until mid morning, I’m in my 30s! Every other morning Im awake from 5.30am, everyone needs a recharge and some peace and quiet. I think a compromise needs to be found for everyone.

I’d compromise on 9am. I feel for your daughter because I was the same as a child and so was my son.
Society is set up for “early birds” and I’m a natural night owl. Even though I’ve always been considerate about not waking people at night, early birds have never given me the same consideration on the mornings.
However, the person who said it’s not normal for a ten year old to sleep till 10 am is being very rude.
Personally I don’t think it’s normal to put children to bed at 7.30 pm but that seems to be acceptable in this country and I’d never say that to anyone.
I know many people who put their children to bed early, then complain they were up at 5, yet when they go on holiday to Italy or Greece, they’ll always come back and say how wonderful it was to see children running around at 10pm.
Reach a compromise. Not everyone has the same sleep schedule and everyone should be mindful of others.

Let the boys take toys downstairs. If your DH moans about toys in his adult space remind him it's letting him get his precious beauty sleep.

Your DD can then sleep in peace. And your boys can play without being moaned at. It's lovely they still play together & may not for much longer once your eldest hits the teen years so let them enjoy that bond while they can.

8am is fine

Get get some kids earplugs - and make sure they aren’t insanely noisy

I've never slept until 9am in my life. I had a lie in this weekend and woke up at 7.30am. That's about as late as I can do. My body just won't sleep any later.

You should have put the times in your OP. 8am is a perfectly reasonable time for the boys to be up and about. Your DD (and DH) will just have to accept that they can’t have everyone in silence until they want to get up. Especially your DD, since her behaviour is what’s waking her father up.

8pm is too early for 10 and especially 12 year olds to go to bed, no wonder the poor boy is getting up at 5am

I thought this too.

8am.is hardly the middle of the night. One person's desires should not trump everyone else's.
Oh and your OH needs to get his arse out of bed and help you. They are his kids as well.

This is to do with owls and larks and it’s hereditary.

Ypur Dh and your Dd seem to be owls. My dd was one. From the day she was born she would never go to sleep early and always slept late. Because of this, she used to sleep in at weekends to catch up.

Sleeping intil 10 isn’t a crime for a 10 year old.