to expect dd to tolerate her brothers playing while she's trying to sleep?

[Mastmw7g]

My 10 year old likes to sleep late, but her brothers wake up early and play in the mornings. They make noise when they play. I think it's a good thing because they're spending time together and not on screens. But dd keeps getting upset that they wake her up. Then she comes out of her room and it starts a fight and dh gets upset because that wakes him up and he also likes to sleep late.

@Whiteday It was at 67% YABU, but it's shifting.

Lots of parents here are a nightmare- waste of a weekend? I don't get up until 9am myself and I'm 48, sometimes I have a lie in for longer, it's bloody brilliant when your kids start to lie in. Wait until the lads are teens, I hope DD gets her own back by playing the fucking cymbals outside their doors in the morning. Let her sleep if she wants to, there's no virtue in early rising.

8am isn’t early. Your DD needs to be more tolerant.

I think you are the only one not being unreasonable! The boys need to play downstairs, your dd needs to go to sleep earlier and possibly use earplugs. She will struggle in the future if she always needs quiet until 10am. Your dh needs to be 100% behind this change and facilitate it because it is him who will benefit. Maybe you could plan Sat am to be food shopping/ park run/ coffee shop morning to absolve yourself of any responsibility to keep the peace.

It's bloody brilliant for people who like to lie in, it's not brilliant for people who want to get up early and start their day!

Don't think the princess will be playing any fucking cymbals in the morning? She's not a teen yet, so I expect she'll want more beauty sleep then.

Honestly, 10am or she comes out angry and starts fights with her brothers!

She needs to realise she doesn't run the house.

And I'm not "losing half a day" getting up at ten, I'm asleep which is absolutely the best thing I could be doing on a Saturday morning, as sleeping, dozing and dreaming are the best things in the world- especially at this time of year when it's cold, dark and wet. Then when I've had hours and hours of restorative sleep I have tons of energy to get up, go to the gym, do some chores, watch football and other weekend things, and can get loads more done.

You can sleep on a Friday night, don't you know? You know when it's dark and not in the morning when the sun is up and the day has started!

Can't you start your day without being a noisy inconsiderate twat then? Princess my arse. Jesus wept.

@crumblingschools My 12 year old gets ready for school without needing any reminders. My 10 year old needs a lot of reminders to get ready for school. She also doesn't like school, though.

DH was away for work a lot when my 12 and 10 year old were little. He really pushed for another baby once his work schedule changed, so he could experience being there for a baby from the beginning. Then it happened and he had a terrible time with the sleep deprivation. Not sleeping makes me tired but it makes DH sad. It's safe to say no more babies for us!

Your dh chooses to go to bed late then devolves parenting of the boys to you and moans if the boys wake him up? He’s a parent, ffs, he needs to go to bed at a reasonable time, as does the 10 yr old.

And what would I be doing that was so important to my life if I were to get up before 9am on a Saturday?

8am is a lie in. I would not put up with DH sleeping in until 11, he needs better sleep hygiene.

Why is this all meeting the manfolks needs? Next weekend DH gets up with the boys, feeds them breakfast and dresses them down stairs in the clothes he organised the night before. Then he takes them to play outside way from the house. You and your dd can get the sleep you need. Job done.
That will never happen of course. Move the toys down stirs and let your dd get the sleep she needs- my dd is the same age, puberty and being utterly wiped out from the effort of the school week mean she really is knackered on a weekend.

Do any of your children do clubs/activities at the weekend?

What do you all do when you are all finally up?

That is very unreasonable of your husband. He has three children, so there are going to be some legos around!

Your daughter is still asleep, there is another space in the house available where the kids could play, the obvious solution is that they play there.

It's funny how it's always men who can't deal with the sleep deprivation babies/ children bring so it's "just easier" for women to do it 🤔.

Tell your DH to get his arse into bed earlier so he can get up with his children at least some of the time. He could take them out to the park or somewhere and your DD could sleep.

Getting up at 10 to 11 wastes half the day especially so when the sun sets around 4pm.

So you can't hoover or do any house work until gone 10am either I bet. They need to get up earlier as they're holding the whole family up.

@crumblingschools walking in the day light? Doing hobbies, activities, getting sun on your face, listening to the morning birdsong?

There is nothing wrong with her recharging her battery on the weekend.

Of course they should go downstairs if they are waking people.

But they've not got tots downstairs! She can recharge her batteries at night, when everything is naturally.quiet!

It doesn't really matter if posters are anti or pro waking early or late, it's obviously accepted in the OP's household that some are larks and some owls. If OP's DP pulls his weight at other times and OP is happy with this arrangement then I don't think this is a problem. But it isn't fair to expect children to tiptoe around hours after they have woken up or for children to be woken up in the morning by others being extremely loud or for an adult to get upset at his children waking him at 10am. Sounds like a bit of compromise is needed all round.

Ignore the poll. Your opening post didn't have enough information. I originally thought YABU until you posted ages and times. Now I definitely think your DD needs to just go to bed earlier if it's a problem.

And your DH? Well that sounds like a whole new thread!!

I can’t believe that you could even question the reasonableness of making kids creep around quietly after they get up at 8am. It’s 8am, not 5am. It’s ridiculous. Your neighbours are entitled to make noise that would wake your other child up at that time. No one is creeping around quietly until after 10am when your other child decides they want to get up ffs. Head and wobble. I’d be having strict words with your 10yo about causing a fuss and fighting with siblings over this as well, that’s unacceptable. You couldn’t argue a neighbour was being unreasonable, and you can’t argue the siblings are being unreasonable.

Sad.
OP it's lovely they want to play. I think a quiet until.8am compromise is fair. DD either needs earlier bedtime or to start wearing earplugs.

Haha. Actually, for once, the AIBU choices have exceptionally clear, so this sounds like grasping at straws.

Reading this thread, I'm taken aback by all the vitriol against your poor daughter. By your description, yours is a family of three larks and two night owls, with the boys turning out like their mother. Each of them have their own separate internal clocks, yet as so often in society all the meanness is reserved for the owls ("princess" and worse from several posters, she needs to get over herself, just get earplugs etc) while the larks somehow represent ibdustriousness and virtue. Maybe worth noting that said "princess" doesn't make a racket from 7pm to 9pm every evening, keeping her brothers awake, even though her own body tells her she's not tired yet. If she did, would her brothers similarly get told they just need bloody earplugs? Speaking as somebody who gets horrendously sore from any brand of earplugs I've ever tried. It's not the panacea some on MN seem to think it is.

OP mutual consideration and maybe as pp suggested select toys - not all - downstairs could be a solution. Even playing outside after 9am? 10 may be stretching it a bit but they should definitely be less rowdy at 8.