to expect dd to tolerate her brothers playing while she's trying to sleep?

[Mastmw7g]

My 10 year old likes to sleep late, but her brothers wake up early and play in the mornings. They make noise when they play. I think it's a good thing because they're spending time together and not on screens. But dd keeps getting upset that they wake her up. Then she comes out of her room and it starts a fight and dh gets upset because that wakes him up and he also likes to sleep late.

I don't know where you live, perhaps the Middle Ages, but here in 2023 we have electric light so not everything has to be done between 8am and 4pm.

And I don't spend a lot of time outdoors when it's seven degrees Celsius and pissing down, as it has been for the last two Saturdays, personally.

I’m really quite shocked at these comments. I have loved a lie in since around the age of 10, as has my eldest child. My youngest(9) is able to get himself some breakfast and entertain himself for an hour or 2 and enjoys his time to himself. We get up around 10 on a weekend and do lots of lovely things feeling well rested and relaxed. People’s body clocks are different and that goes for 10 year olds too!

Are you in a flat or a house? Before screens and headphones we kids were sent downstairs to watch tv (quietly), get cereal and therefore we were quiet. Before that we’d play and fight.

Of coure not.
But OP shouldn´t completely disregard her DD´s needs and preferences for the sake of her two brothers either!
And some people are simply "night owls". It is also common to experience a major shift in sleeping patterns due to puberty.

Teenagers become night owls during puberty (sciencenorway.no)

I’d move some not all toys downstairs. No screeching or screaming though.

Yes, quite.

But then I'm wondering if there is a correlation between early risers and the Mumsnetters who make far more housework for themselves than necessary, washing towels after a single use and so on. You would have to get up at 5am to get through all the unnecessary work and martyrdom.

No way in hell would me or my DP be sleeping in until 10am at the weekend unless there was a specific reason like a night out etc. It’s so disrespectful to the family. I thought you were going to say they were up and playing at 6am or something. If your sons want to play at 8am that seems reasonable. One question though, do they not get up, have breakfast and then play? That could be one way of delaying them. How does DD cope getting up for school? If it’s really difficult, maybe her sleep routine is out of whack and needs to be regulated including weekends.

That's ridiculous with 3 kids. It's practically lunchtime. What do you as a family at weekends?

Yes, quite.

But then I'm wondering if there is a correlation between early risers and the Mumsnetters who make far more housework for themselves than necessary, washing towels after a single use and so on. You would have to get up at 5am to get through all the unnecessary work and martyrdom.*

Early riser here and don't wash towels excessively and I'm not a martyr! Just like the mornings, it's really not odd! I wonder if the correlation between late risers and the mumsnetters that are lazy?

This post is unbearably smug. The whole “10am? Half the day’s gone!” nonsense is my pet peeve.

Presumably this is only two days a week max so can they not just bring some toys down on those mornings for a few hours and then take them back upstairs once DH is up and doesn't want to see them?

It’s not morally better but if one parent is lying in constantly while 2 kids are early risers, that doesn’t seem fair to me. Yes I’d love a lie in but my kids get up early; so do I. Why does OP always have to be the one getting up with the boys? Also it’s not fair for the DD to expect them not to play at 8/9/10am if they are up and ready for the day.

It makes dh sad ?

He wanted a 3rd child. To do the things he missed with eldest two

Then He has better be grown up and go to bed at 9/10pm on a Friday night if tired

Then he can get go and play with the 6yr he wanted so badly

Totally reasonable for them to be up and playing at 8am, and mad for PPsto suggest forcing them on to screens instead. But it also seems crazy to cause all this family angst when you have another space they can play in instead of right outside someone's bedroom door. Why can't they just play in the living room until 10, and then reclaim the upstairs play space again after that? It will take 5 minutes max to transfer toys back to the playroom and have a tidier space again downstairs for when DH and DD appear. Surely that's a decent compromise that would keep everyone pretty happy?

Why do you need to do things "as a family" every weekend? I mean we might have done the odd trip out when DDs were younger but it was more ferrying them about to friends and activities, doing housework and trying to have some relaxation time doing nothing if possible. And a 12 and 10 year old will likely want to spend time with their mates.

My teenagers would laugh if I suggested doing something as a family most weekends, they just want to see their friends, and the 18 year old often works 10 hours+ at the weekend.

I’m glad I haven’t had breakfast yet 🤮😆

I agree with** @whizzbangpopsplutter

I wasn't allowed to sleep in as child at all. we had to be up and dressed by 8 the latest.

it was torture for us, especially as we had (whole family affair) hobbies that took place in the evenings so went bed after 10pm.

cut dd some slack. you can get headband bluetooth headphones that might help a bit. but surely asking the boys everyone to be considerate is not wrong.

All right, but just accept that people have different bodyclocks and stop making a virtue of early rising then as so many have on here.

This really isn’t some unchangeable hereditary owls and larks thing.

It’s that 8am is a totally reasonable time for people going about their day and those who want to still be in bed living with normal life noise at that time.

And a 10 year old who is being nasty to her brothers and waking up her father because she wants to lie in in silence.

If the boys were up at 6 making noise, it would be too early and not the window of standard people being up time. But it’s 8am and normal playing should be fine.

So do the kids not have activities etc or does the OP do all the ferrying around? We were a family where there always things to do which is why I asked.

Why is your 12yr. Going to bed at 8pm. Is that coz he shared a bedroom
With a 6yr

Yet his younger sister goes to bed much later

If he went to bed later the. Pro. Wouldn't wake up at 5/6am once his body clock had shifted

Things I would change....

10yr olds bedtime. She needs to have lights out by 9/930 which will improve her sleep no end. (Yes she's an owl but currently she isn't getting enough sleep if shes tired for school and at 10 isnt mature enough to fully control this decision).

Not having the boys play noisily outside her bedroom door. Can they take the lego into their bedroom(s) until say 9am? They shouldn't be stopped from playing though.

I would say the day starts at 9am and anyone needing to sleep beyond that will need to make their own arrangements - ear plugs etc. And I would not tolerate any fighting/nastiness after 9am over noise.

I have a noise ball of a 9yr old who is an early riser. He is told light feet and to be in his room or downstairs before 9. The others know not to complain however beyond that time.

You have three bedrooms coming off a central play room, plus at least another bedroom upstairs. Your house is plenty big enough to get the lads to play downstairs of they can't play quietly

Stop, stop 😂😂 I just can’t cope anymore. I keep picturing Theresa May skipping through the cornfield 😆