Why are you awful?

[ppppoff]

Aibu to ask why you are awful?

I have friends and a good family who I get on with 99% of the time (I think) and like to think of myself as a very normal person but I defiantly have my flaws that I am trying to recognise and own.

I've rubbed some people up the wrong way this week by my inability to apologise when I make a mistake. It is absolutely the worst possible thing when someone points out a mistake I have made or criticise me. I know I hold some childhood trauma of criticism and I get a physical reaction when it happens in adulthood and I quickly try to deflect and manipulate situations to try and wriggle my way out of holding my hands up and saying 'yep, sorry'

I also think I have a tight grip of control over others peoples ideas. I really back myself and believe my ideas to be correct unless someone gives me a watertight alternative that I can't find fault with. If someone's idea has cracks in it, I will usually dismiss it and just bound ahead with my own. I know this pisses people off but I'm so scared of going with perceived cracked ideas as I'm convinced they will fail.

Would just love to know what other failings you recognise in yourself to make me feel like I'm not a horrid person?

I've noticed quite a lot of profiles on Bumble say 'looking for somebody ambitious and driven'. I just think, what's the point? None of us is getting out of here alive. Why bother

Brilliant!

I'm absolutely not perfect, I wouldn't claim to be. But lots of these make me really sad.

What would you say your flaws are, if you were extremely honest with yourself?

I thought "pardon?" was the polite thing to say! What do you say instead?

What?!

I'm not sure that matters for my comment. I just meant how unhappy, isolating and sad lots of the behaviours must be. I don't really mean that in a judgemental way like pp's are so pathetic just that our behaviours and views don't always bring us happiness.

But you did ask... I think I've got loads of flaws. I have mental health issues (anxiety and depression). I'm shaped by my parents and childhood in a way I think a different type of person could 'get over'.

I try to live based on my morals and judge people who don't (not who can't) like people who do jobs that give nothing to the world. But I'm fairly let people live so it's maybe hypocritical.

I also compare my myself to others too much.

In general I try to be kind and considerate person. So I do think it hopefully balances out.

I laughed like a drain at this post!

I'll never ask for help or take it, to the point I make life really hard for myself sometimes when I know there are people who would help me at the drop of a hat! I actually don't know why I do this

I am self centred and obsess over my own problems. I am also very negative.

-I have Autism and ADHD and allllll the bad personality traits. But I'd say they make me annoying rather than awful
If we're talking awful

• I cannot stand self victimisation or self acquired helplessness. I don't mean people who are genuinely in a bad situation, and struggling to find support.

I mean people who have it okay and just refuse to do anything to better themselves or their lives, whilst constantly moaning that they're on so hard done by.

• I refuse to do any work beyond what is specified in my contract. If you want me to go above and beyond, pay me an above and beyond wage.
• I live by the mantra "You're either on my side, by my side or in my way"

I’m sure I have as many flaws as anyone. I just don’t think a lot of what’s described on the thread is ‘awful’, many are just less desirable character traits. Maybe I’ve interpreted the word ‘awful’ too strictly. <ends musing>

@wesurecouldstandgladioli We're all truly awful. It's better to think that way than have an overly prideful/complacent attitude to oneself.

I wouldn’t say I’m overly prideful or complacent, maybe I’m just more understanding of human behaviour.

I’m awful cos I:

Hate the “entitled to” benefits brigade

think fibromyalgia and long Covid are made up

think that SEN in kids is over diagnosed due to a former friend basically beating HCP’s down for a diagnosis so she could give up work and claim PIP/ carers for her perfectly average son.

I'm always right.
I guess that annoys some people.

I'm confused! Is it not middle class to say pardon? I thought "Pardon?" was more middle class/ polite than "What?" 🤔

Saying that I had no idea toilet or serviette made people cringe so I guess I might not know much

Lol. you're not a sagittarius are you ? 😆

I have a zero tolerance for proven idiots.

When I say zero, I'm talking about a number so small it cannot be measured.

My face, even when I contort it into something I think in my head seems empathetic, literally reads "you are an utter prick".

It's a challenge. I'm going n HR.

Me too. Maybe we'd get on.

Taurus 🐂

i can be moody and judgmental. I struggle not to gossip. I also don’t suffer fools and can be brutal at times. I do have lots of good qualities though so try and squash my inner bitch but sometimes she takes over, then I really dislike myself.

I’m naturally possessive, judgemental, sensitive to criticism, and I crave attention.

I do work hard not to give in to these urges though.

Thanks for posting this OP, it feels freeing to admit my flaws in an anonymous way!

I make the distinction between being awful and doing awful things otherwise you make it pathological meaning you can't change your behaviour. I used to be more of a gossip and two-faced but I stopped. I am still quite judgemental about people - esp if I think they're a bit stupid or ignorant. I try to just brush it offnow. I'm aware of how much negativity was dinned into me by my parents so I make a point of resisting it...

I hate unfairness. To a fault. Even if something doesn't concern me I need to intervene to make it fair. I will never ask for help, even when I am struggling, I would rather tire myself out trying to do it all than ask anyone to help me. I judge others who have lots of help and still complain about it. I lack empathy for people sometimes & yet at the same time feel sorry for myself and my shit upbringing & the fact I'm now orphaned in my 30's. I have an attitude of 'I've been through hell & I can still turn up to work/put my kids first/budget properly so why can't everyone else' I cut people off with no hesitation, I'd rather never speak to them again than admit I am hurt/upset. I would never give anyone the opportunity to embarrass me. I cannot take criticism & find it extremely difficult to apologise. I am certain this must stem from childhood. I am also very thoughtful, caring and kind. If you're my friend, you're my friend & I'll move heaven and earth for you. I remember important dates, check in on people & send gifts 'just because'. But underneath it all I worry they'll find out I'm actually a terrible person & they won't really like me.

But lots of these make me really sad.

^^

Oh come on