Why are you awful?

[ppppoff]

Aibu to ask why you are awful?

I have friends and a good family who I get on with 99% of the time (I think) and like to think of myself as a very normal person but I defiantly have my flaws that I am trying to recognise and own.

I've rubbed some people up the wrong way this week by my inability to apologise when I make a mistake. It is absolutely the worst possible thing when someone points out a mistake I have made or criticise me. I know I hold some childhood trauma of criticism and I get a physical reaction when it happens in adulthood and I quickly try to deflect and manipulate situations to try and wriggle my way out of holding my hands up and saying 'yep, sorry'

I also think I have a tight grip of control over others peoples ideas. I really back myself and believe my ideas to be correct unless someone gives me a watertight alternative that I can't find fault with. If someone's idea has cracks in it, I will usually dismiss it and just bound ahead with my own. I know this pisses people off but I'm so scared of going with perceived cracked ideas as I'm convinced they will fail.

Would just love to know what other failings you recognise in yourself to make me feel like I'm not a horrid person?

This feels like a stealth boast.

This is me too..I’m a terrible gossip at work and I absolutely judge people for not being stoic and handling situations the way I would.

I have a hard time giving my husband any sympathy for anything and get so frustrated that he can’t just suck it up!

This reminds me of mine..
I automatically disbelieve someone who says their contraceptive fails. I do totally get it happens. Of course nothing is 100% failsafe. But I can't help but think "yeah suuuure". Especially when they come at me with "I was on 2 methods!!" which I have heard more times than statistics would suggest possible.

I'm trying to become less cynical but even this comment is drenched in it

I’m a massive comfort eater, and I’m secretive about it too.

Stressful day at work - I will literally demolish cakes, chocolate, pasties, pies. However, I know it’s not acceptable so I do it away from others and hide the evidence.

It’s not good for my health. Thankfully I’m relatively physically fit, go to the gym several times a week. However, I don’t think having a compulsion and doing it secretly is a particularly healthy thing.

I don't suffer fools. I'm only awful to people deserve it. There's one person in particular I can wind up effortlessly without even trying and he walks straight into it every single time. He's utterly vile and I revel in the fact he's so invested in everything I do that I don't even have to try. Just my presence in the world is enough to send him into a rage. And no, it's not DH 😂

I don’t like other people. I want to but I just don’t. As I get to know someone and become friends, I just begin to really hate them. I try to push it out of my mind, but it’s very difficult. I don’t know why it happens.

Exact same here.

I’m also quite critical whilst being crap at taking criticism 😳

I lie by omission or directly about big things. My husband of decades has no idea how much debt I’m in, that I vape, how much I actually drink or that I’ve been in love with someone else for years. None of my close friends, kids or family know about any of these things. I don’t feel guilty - more numb - probably because of quite appalling, longstanding physical and emotional violence in my marriage and a childhood that has left me outwardly warm and pleasing, and inwardly detached. I stay because I love my house and my kids more than him. Which no-one knows more than a tiny fraction of. Everyone I know apart from my husband thinks I’m wonderful and have a fantastic life. I accept myself but don’t approve of myself.

I find it hard to take anything seriously.
Inside of me, there's an inner child going 'Bah!' all the time.

Most people don't realise that so much is totally inconsequential.

My awful thing would be drinking too much, wine most evenings.
Single parent to 3, working a stressful job. Is that so bad?!

I'm quite lazy. And I'm terrible for bearing a grudge when I've been wronged.

I’m over sensitive but take a robust view of other people’s sensibilities. Can’t stand other people’s illness and get cross if the DC hurt themselves - I feel so out of control and angry when they are injured as if I’ve failed them.

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon You’ve got me intrigued -lol- Like what? Can you give us any examples?

It's taken me years to realise that the best things in life are free... and that's why I've taken up shoplifting.

That would describe me as well but is that really so bad? I like thinking that way it has been a huge help when life has turned to shit.

I'm very impatient and critical.

I enjoy a good bitch and a moan.

I have ways of masking a lot of this but sometimes feel a bit awkward as I'm not truly being myself.

I am totally myself with my husband and my mum. My husband is genuinely the nicest man you can meet, I sometimes wonder what he sees in me.

I have very little patience with utter nonsense and am tediously insistent about objective facts.

The kind of hypotheticals like the ones you see in YouTube misinformation videos which start from a faulty premise and then continue with lots of "ifs" that there is no basis for make me sad for a section of humanity's lack of critical thinking skills.

And I don't hide it well.

I try not to openly guffaw or look pitying but sometimes something ridiculous takes me by surprise and it takes me a moment to compose my face.

I've done some awful things, including being passing out drunk on the sofa when my children were upstairs asleep when I was in active addiction.
8 years sober but it will always make me wince

I am lazy and avoidant. I am also jealous of the success of colleagues but too lazy to do the things myself to progress. I am not present enough with my children or anyone really. I am also very critical of others despite being pretty crap myself - lots of room for improvement!

Drinking too much, yes especially if you are the sole carer of children. I was a single mum to two (now grown) and was under a lot of stress (their dad lived abroad so it was all down to me) but I never relied on drink.

Same 😂

We'd obviously never be friends because neither of us would message/call 😂

I don't forget

And I don't forgive

I’m not interested in others people’s children and animals. I care about my own and to a lesser extent the children of family members and friends. However, I’m not interested one bit in some randomer’s kids who pass me in the street. Just because I have a vagina does not make me automatically interested. I see fathers look at me expecting me to smile at their dcs. I’ve started to deliberately ignore and blank them. I’m not here to entertain you or your child.

I can be very hard on people and have little time for self pitying types. I can be selfish. I have been the OW in the past, see my previous point. I go through phases of drinking way too much on nights out and behaving in an embarrassing manner. I like to think I know best and it frustrates me massively when people don’t do what I think know to be the best choice of action.

Congratulations 🙄