Why are you awful?

[ppppoff]

Aibu to ask why you are awful?

I have friends and a good family who I get on with 99% of the time (I think) and like to think of myself as a very normal person but I defiantly have my flaws that I am trying to recognise and own.

I've rubbed some people up the wrong way this week by my inability to apologise when I make a mistake. It is absolutely the worst possible thing when someone points out a mistake I have made or criticise me. I know I hold some childhood trauma of criticism and I get a physical reaction when it happens in adulthood and I quickly try to deflect and manipulate situations to try and wriggle my way out of holding my hands up and saying 'yep, sorry'

I also think I have a tight grip of control over others peoples ideas. I really back myself and believe my ideas to be correct unless someone gives me a watertight alternative that I can't find fault with. If someone's idea has cracks in it, I will usually dismiss it and just bound ahead with my own. I know this pisses people off but I'm so scared of going with perceived cracked ideas as I'm convinced they will fail.

Would just love to know what other failings you recognise in yourself to make me feel like I'm not a horrid person?

@Guesswho88 I'm 'slothful' too.

My best friend always had a saying: 'Kids are like farts - we don't mind our own but we can't stand other people's' 😂

I suspect I’m not NT but as I’m now retired there’s little point trying to do anything about it. Hate changes to routine, very introverted and say the first thing that comes into my head. Also absolutely cannot deal with unfairness or sloppiness in other people.

Lazy as all hell. Or am I just tired? Or both?

I rush. I never do anything properly. My mind rushes, my speech, my walking and talking, all fast. I get so impatient and grunt at anyone who doesn't walk, talk or do , as quickly as I do.

I’m “awful” because I take the piss out of people internally, and sometimes with others as a way of coping with big emotions.

We’re all flawed and broken in different ways, and it isn’t black and white. Nobody is all good or all bad, we’re all a colourful spectrum of both.

Well nothing that I’ll put on a public forum where I don’t even have the right to delete my post…

I overthink EVERYTHING

I don't know why I'm awful, I just am.

I am Victor Meldrew.

When people start ranting on that they're suicidal I do everything in my power to pass the problem on. If there is no one I can shift them onto I
suddenly develop connection problems and cut the call.

I'm just amazed at your self-knowledge, OP.

This is me!!

I never took shit but was a kind person and gave many hours of my life doing volunteer work; I would help anyone who needed it. Now I am a post menopausal cancer survivor whose filter is totally gone and my tolerance for people in general is zero. I hate my bitchy comments but can’t quite stop, I think I have a lot of repressed anger about what happened to me.

There'll be something. Everyone is awful in some way. You've just not realised it yet.

I am egotistical. I have to remind myself all the time that not everything is about me. I hide this really well, so I don’t think people notice. In an ideal world though, I would like to be the centre of attention and talk about myself all the time, but I have learned socially acceptable ways to disguise this.

I can be incredibly selfish. I have put my career and personal sense of purpose and fulfillment ahead of my family on several occasions.

After I had emergency surgery with a brutal recovery I have very little sympathy for those complaining about minor injuries / illnesses. Maybe I was always the same but it's definitely more obvious to me now. Though I do feign sympathy, I don't mean it at all.

I (wrongly) judge my own children for not coping. Masses of anxiety, fears of failure , relationship issues etc which are all human states of being, bring them to a halt at times and I just honestly can't understand it.

I secretly loathe those who are ambitious in a materialistic way (come and look at my new kitchen etc) but it makes up parts of a lot of people I know so I keep my mouth firmly shut. I know that fundamentally there's nothing wrong in wanting nice things- it's that I might then have to hear over coffee how stressed out they are with demands at work etc etc

I do judge others on levels of hygiene- I can smell unwashed / unclean smells.

I don't really care what goes on in factory farms or abattoirs.

If you're passing a series of slower vehicles e.g lorries which would otherwise mean you weaving in and out of lanes if you habitually pulled back into the left lane then you are not wrong. People on MN get the concept of the middle lane wrong; like it's forbidden and you may only venture out for a few seconds into it should you be forced to overtaking. If I move out into the middle lane to overtake a lorry and then I can see other lorries and slower vehicles in the left lane further up the motorway that I know I will overtake, I'm not moving back into the left lane for 10 seconds just to move out again. It's unnecessary and hazardous to keep changing lanes for no reason.

@Icecreameverytime thats awful about the pet, what happened? But it was an accident and you obviously feel awful where as a terrible person wouldn't .

I have a weird thing where I go between extremes of feeling a lot of empathy to having no tolerance of self pity, weakness and being a bit stony hearted.

I mean this is probably a strength too. As I’m guessing stuff doesn’t bother you as much x

Reading all of the replies this morning is bringing me comfort knowing that so many people really have awful traits.

When other people make me feel like shit, I hopefully now can internally think 'you're fucking awful too' and know that everyone will have something odious about them.

'Hell is other people'

After happening upon this thread the 'Hole' song 'Awful' has been bouncing around in my head for two days!

Other people are for sure awful: you only need to spend eight hours on a long-haul flight with them to apprehend as much ...