To be annoyed they used the exact name

[holeymoleymacaroli]

Just found out that DH's cousin has had a baby (they are quite a close knit family). Had a text to say they had named the baby the exact same first and middle name as our son. DS is 4 and they were both at the christening and have seen him since so they were fully aware of the name. It's not a massively common name so it's not something you expect lots of people to have. I just feel really angry, like they've taken away part of his identity which I know is probably ridiculous. But why copy his first and middle name? His middle name we chose to honour his grandad and they have no family connection to it so I just can't understand it! Just feel like I need to vent somewhere

Yeah that's annoying and they look a bit daft but I wouldn't be upset my it. I would be amused

There's only two logical explanations. Either they forgot your child's names but subconsciously remembered them (like we vaguely remember a story when reading a book) or they're fucking weird.

While nobody owns a name, I can imagine how you feel. Our children's names are emotional to us, so of course, when someone within your family/friend circle (unless traditional family passing a name on) does this, it stings.
This is very strange if the above doesn't apply though. Do you meet up a lot?
My petty side wants to come out and make a suggestion for the next family meeting. You could get tops made up for your DC and their DC and have something like "Original (their name)" and "Replica (their name)" put on them. Maybe not those words, they're too harsh, but suggestive like that.
But to be honest, if you don't all meet up much or converse with family about them much, will there be an issue with the two being confused with one another? If not, ignore this feeling as much as you can and enjoy your DC and all they will do as they grow. Their name is still special to you. That's all that matters.

I struggle to remember my grandson 's middle names and I only have one! None of my dc have a middle name so dd2 decides to give him three!

My cousin asked if she could use dd1's name if she had a girl as she really liked it. In the end she has 3 boys and then a girl and chose another name. I didn't mind ( dd1 has no middle name), as there would have been more than 10 years age difference and we only see them once or twice a year. Perhaps the cousin will use a pet name for their child so they don't get confused.

Howd you know they arent a close relative? She says they are a close family. I know plenty of people who grow up with cousins, myself included.

I think when she said, "Just found out that DH's cousin has had a baby (they are quite a close knit family)." I suppose it can be read two ways, one that they didn't know about the pregnancy and just found out or two they knew she was pregnant and just found out the baby had been born.

I read it as they didn't know about the pregnancy and just found out with the birth announcement but when I read it again I realised it could be the other way.

I don’t actually see a problem with this. My Dad and his cousin have the same name and my auntie named her son the same name and my son has the same name. I had no thought of it being offensive to others. Just a name we obviously all like.