Son having sex: Everyone has an opinion that I didn’t ask for

[Mysticmania]

My son is 19 and I found a piece of condom wrapper on his bedroom floor. I assume he is sexually active. His girlfriend has started to stay over which I didn’t initially agree to but my son gave the excuse that they fell asleep etc. I’ve spoken to him about being safe and responsible. Also that he has his whole life ahead of him and wouldn’t be the right time for a baby etc. He agrees and we left it at that. Mentioned it to a couple of my best friends as I needed to offload. I know he’s of age but it’s reminded me he’s grown now. Both friends start giving the third degree “oh my god you’re going the become a grandma” “oh gosh he should not be bringing girls to your home” “no way, there’s no way I’d allow that under my roof, he can’t have babies at his age”. I don’t know why I mentioned it now. And can you believe both of them were having sex from the ages of 14.

Well don't discuss your son's sex life with your friends and mumsnet then. Respect his privacy.

He's an adult male, set your house boundaries and leave him alone.

Why are you in his room?

@KateyCuckoo the rare excellent point!

How odd - all round!

WTF are you doing discussing you son's sex life with your friends.

He's 19. Have some respect for him.

im a parent and do have some parenting dilemmas at times. Sometimes I speak to other parents as I’m sure lots of parents do.

At 19 it's no one's business but your DS and his GF.

You shouldn't be discussing this with other people

Just ignore their comments and don't tell people about your sons sex life!

I would maybe try and talk to him about always using condoms as it's tempting to go without sometimes- and say its good that he's used them so far.

Not much else you can do. He should clear it with you before she stays over out of courtesy.

I don't understand why a 19 year being sexually active would be such a cause for anxst?
Why did you need to "offload" to anyone?

My mum MORTIFIED me by discussing my sex life at that age with her mates. I never really trusted her after that.

I didn’t discuss his sex life, simply mentioned the GF staying without permission. From that they assumed they are having sex. Yes I know it’s private.

I can’t believe you think it’s ok to tell your friends that your 19 year old son is having sex?

It’s not really your business, never mind theirs.

Why is your 19 year old son having sex with his girlfriend and using condoms a “dilemma” that you need to tell your friends about?

You need to respect his privacy.

You’re the parent of an adult who is 19. I think I’d be concerned if my dc weren’t enjoying sex in a loving relationship by 19. It’s normal. Sex is a great thing just need to stress being safe. He’s clearly using condoms so that’s great. The fact you’ve brought up his sex life with your friends is mortifying.

A 19 year old having sex is not a dilemma. You did the right thing by encouraging him to be safe but other than that, keep your nose out.

He’s 19! WTAF are you doing discussing his private relationships with your friends.
You need to back out of his life and read up on appropriate boundaries.
I would be beyond fuming with you if I were him, absolutely unforgivable having that conversation with friends.

Needed to offload as it’s his first GF and I never have permission for her to stay.

He’s 19!!!

He's 19 not 15. This isn't a 'parenting dilemma' because he's a grown man doing something perfectly legal, presumably consensual and from the evidence you found also safely.

What in god's name does it have to do with your friends?

I think it's alright to talk to him about it if you're concerned but you shouldn't be discussing it with others.

You're 19 year old having sex with his girlfriend is not a parenting dilemma 🙄🙄 you need to get a grip

They are adults. Most 19 year olds unless very religious/conservative if in a relationship of longer than a couple of weeks will be having sex. Its NONE of your /anyone else's business.

Your

i expected more of a listening ear from best friends. We share lots of life dilemmas. I didn’t expect to be grilled .

You have an unhealthy interest in your adult sons sex life. Mind your own business and stop telling your friends about it ffs

I think needing to "offload" about this - and then complaining they gave unwanted opinions about it - is ludicrous. What did you expect them to do?