Son having sex: Everyone has an opinion that I didn’t ask for

[Mysticmania]

My son is 19 and I found a piece of condom wrapper on his bedroom floor. I assume he is sexually active. His girlfriend has started to stay over which I didn’t initially agree to but my son gave the excuse that they fell asleep etc. I’ve spoken to him about being safe and responsible. Also that he has his whole life ahead of him and wouldn’t be the right time for a baby etc. He agrees and we left it at that. Mentioned it to a couple of my best friends as I needed to offload. I know he’s of age but it’s reminded me he’s grown now. Both friends start giving the third degree “oh my god you’re going the become a grandma” “oh gosh he should not be bringing girls to your home” “no way, there’s no way I’d allow that under my roof, he can’t have babies at his age”. I don’t know why I mentioned it now. And can you believe both of them were having sex from the ages of 14.

The backpedalling continues!

Please keep going. Like I said, I honestly see it as a good thing.

But let me tell you now that nobody on earth, no matter who they are or whether they are or aren't related to you, takes any sexual advice from anyone who uses the term "hanky panky".

I have strange children then like I said you should meet them and then decide. I am not lying I had a hard time growing up read my last post.

I told you nobody cares about how mad and crazy you all are. Just stop trying to police consensual, legal adult sex. You don't own your daughters.

"Hanky panky", my lord...

Until they are 18 I take full responsibility for what happens to them. Is it easier for you not to give that responsibility to yourself by letting your children do what they want?

I imagine most 19 year old men are having sex and do your friends not know what condoms are for? He is unlikely to be having a baby if using condoms. Given that he probably is going to be having sex at his age finding condom wrappers should be reassuring that he is being safe.

You've already backpedalled, stop trying to deflect and attack and change the subject. It's very boring and transparent. Don't attempt to police legal consensual sex because you think it's a bit icky and all is fine. I don't know why this normal, simple concept makes you so angry and defensive.

A boy of 17 was accused of sexual assault I met this young man when he was in year 10 in my daughter's school. Another man who my partner met brutally killed a 15 year old because his nieces told him that he raped her and a friend. Children can not take responsibility you have to as the parent. You can't twist what my life is and that is a parent.

You would have needed to lay down with smelling salts if you'd had my son.
At nineteen, his bedroom was like a brothel. We used to joke about putting a red light outside his door.
I never felt the need to discuss it with friends op.

But he's 19.
I'd moved out at 19 and lived with my boyfriend.
Managed not to get pregnant without my mum knowing anything about my sex life

Still waiting for the deletion…

what do you mean by this?

My 19 year old has a boyfriend now I take it back I am shitting myself. She must finish university first. I am very close with my children and very overprotective. I had no outside family support it was only me and my partner. My partner is always upskilling gas engineer, pest control, property surveyor. He is jack of trades master of none. I have 4 children 19, 17, 15 and 8 you need money to look after them they are expensive we run a business. Hairdressing course that we decided to pay privately for, university and we decided to send my 15 year old to college because the schools are shocking around here. My 8 year old goes to school but I am undecided about secondary. I am 40 now and would love one last child and would definitely go for one more.

You found me and I have decided to share with you a snap shot of my life. There has been ups and downs along the way but I wouldn't change it and let's be honest it could have been a lot worse. My children are happy and stable with it just being the two of us playing mum, dad and grandparents.

It would be weird if you were 19 in a relationship and not having sex. Of course they’re having sex!!! And probably lots of it.
as they should at they’re age. Like I imagine most of us did at 18/19!

Your son is an adult, you could try offering advice about birth control if you are worried he'll be irresponsible or lacks information, but his sex life it isn't your business. If you're not comfortable with him having a girlfriend to stay in your home, you have the right to tell him not to of course.