Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not invited :(

451 replies

BlueNavy · 11/11/2023 23:28

Mum friends just posted on FB them all out drinking and having fun tonight. I'm on the sofa watching telly, wasn't invited and really upset about it. All people I'm friends with and I would have loved to have gone. No falling out, get on with everyone, I hate that things like this happen. Feeling shit now and wondering what else I've missed. Only know cause of stupid social media.😔

OP posts:
RubySunset82 · 11/11/2023 23:30

Awwh @BlueNavy Ive felt like this in the past, but there is always something behind it. Are they closer perhaps? Are you new to the group?

Original poster
BlueNavy · 11/11/2023 23:32

Known them all for 8/9 years. I didn't think they were all closer but maybe. It's all 7 of them, there's usually the 8 of us go out. I don't understand why they've all gone without me. Shit.

OP posts:
WiIIowT · 11/11/2023 23:33

There has to be a back story.

ClemFandangooo · 11/11/2023 23:35

That's rubbish. Are you all in a group chat at all? I'd be asking where my invite was!

ShatteredPeace · 11/11/2023 23:38

That's shit. It's horrible feeling like that. Do you normally all go out happily as a group?

Densol57 · 11/11/2023 23:38

Id be really pissed off at not being invited ! Was it not even mentioned on the group chat ?
if not .....there is something underhand going on - investigate - then re consider friendships

Original poster
BlueNavy · 11/11/2023 23:43

Not much on the group chat this week, just child stuff. I asked on Thurs if anyone had wknd plans and nobody replied. We were all out last month together, and a couple months before that

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 11/11/2023 23:45

Ahh fuck it. Decide whether this is enough to make you stop being friendly with them and go from there. If it’s going to get your back up then maybe it’s time to just step away from them all.

Original poster
BlueNavy · 11/11/2023 23:47

I can't step away from them all. That's my whole friendship group where i live, or so I thought. Have commented on the FB pic saying "looks a fun night". Will wait and see if anyone replies

OP posts:
anon2134 · 11/11/2023 23:48

Leave the group chat

Theduchy · 11/11/2023 23:49

I'm sorry OP that's a really shit feeling and awful of them.

VeronicasCloset · 11/11/2023 23:49

BlueNavy · 11/11/2023 23:47

I can't step away from them all. That's my whole friendship group where i live, or so I thought. Have commented on the FB pic saying "looks a fun night". Will wait and see if anyone replies

That was a little childish and passive aggressive.

Step away from your phone, have a bath and get to bed. Focus on your mental health and not social media.

Angrymum22 · 11/11/2023 23:50

It’s also rather childish of her friends to exclude her.

Fizzadora · 11/11/2023 23:51

VeronicasCloset · 11/11/2023 23:49

That was a little childish and passive aggressive.

Step away from your phone, have a bath and get to bed. Focus on your mental health and not social media.

Show quote history

What?
I would have added "Have I been deliberately left out or did no one bother to check that I knew about it."

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 11/11/2023 23:51

I agree with @Angrymum22. It's really shitty of them

fourelementary · 11/11/2023 23:53

I’d have said something similar @VeronicasCloset - it’s not childish. It might be a wee but PARK but who cares? She asked them about their weekend plans so that’s been a deliberate ploy to leave her out. Mean girls and NOT on… sorry @BlueNavy it feels shit ti be left out like that.

PastorCarrBonarra · 11/11/2023 23:54

This sucks, OP. I hope it’s a misunderstanding. Talk to one of them about it tomorrow.

BoredAuditor · 11/11/2023 23:54

BlueNavy · 11/11/2023 23:43

Not much on the group chat this week, just child stuff. I asked on Thurs if anyone had wknd plans and nobody replied. We were all out last month together, and a couple months before that

After specifically asking about plans and no subsequent invite I'd be taking a huge step back and distancing myself. I'm sorry this has happened to you OP

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 11/11/2023 23:56

This has happened to me before and I walked away from the lot of them. I'd rather no friends than fake friends.

Original poster
BlueNavy · 11/11/2023 23:58

SaulHudsonDavidJones · 11/11/2023 23:56

This has happened to me before and I walked away from the lot of them. I'd rather no friends than fake friends.

@SaulHudsonDavidJones did you not speak to them again? Did they try reaching out to you?

OP posts:
Wonderously · 12/11/2023 00:00

Are they known for being unkind or manipulative? Could it just be an accidental oversight or intended?

StBrides · 12/11/2023 00:02

Ah this is horrible, make sure it's not a genuine mistake before you write then off though. I'm part of a large friendship group and this kind of thing has happened once or twice - each time it's been a genuine oversight that someone was left out (ie some form of communication issue)

Prinnny · 12/11/2023 00:02

That’s crap, sounds like it may be intentional seeing as you asked about weekend plans and no one responded!

Has there been any dramas between yous that might have caused them to step away from you?

Summerbee3 · 12/11/2023 00:04

I know this sounds silly, but have any of your kids had falling outs?

Thetulesarepretty · 12/11/2023 00:09

Is there one you're closer to that you could ask?

It happened to me once years ago, I'll still never forget that awful heart lurching feeling of knowing you've been left out and not knowing why. I never did pluck up the courage to ask the organiser why, I just couldn't. I asked a couple of the others and they said they honestly didn't know but that it must have been an oversight. That's just such a load of rubbish though, I mean, if you'd somehow forgotten then surely on the night you'd have realized and though omg I've forgotten to ask Thetulesarepretty get her on speed dial immediately, but no nothing. Big hugs, it bloody hurts