To have told DH to get the fuck off me?

[Probablynotright]

It’s not like me but Saturday mornings are a massive stress as swimming is early and we’re always late which pisses me off as it’s really expensive and I feel it makes us look bad.

So this morning is the usual chaos despite me being up since 6 and it looked like we might make it on time - I asked DH to pass me something and he kicked it towards me (an item of clothing) and then started giggling at my face. He then came over and started cuddling me and trying to kiss me and I hissed to get the fuck off me.

I know it was an overreaction but he does wind me up so much when we’re rushing.

that wa smy point though op what does your dh actually do apart from go and get a breakfast and make you late

In that case - try and a be bit more organised this will help a lot with the chaos to stop you being irritable with DH as well. You say you are stressed it sounds like dh is just trying to wind you up. As you are saying you are always late then think how you can change things to avoid that, make sure everything is ready, kit etc.
Get up earlier if you need to. You then won't get so wound up with dh. It sounds like it something you enjoy doing with your daughter, if it is important to you then you need to look at why you get so stressed and if it is to do with being late then think about ways you can change that.

I think it’s less to do with your DD2 staying at home and more to do with not needing your DH to come with you so that he can look after her, while you’re in the pool with DD1. That way, you aren’t getting stressed with your DH pissing about when you’re trying to get everybody out the door on time.

And I strongly suspect that one week with a very cross baby and with no Mcds breakfast will be enough encouragement for your DH to get his act together for the following week. Short term pain for long term gain.

Again, that's OK if you think it doesn't sound fine. Not your life.

As you want to continue the swimming lessons, and you have to have the baby with you, which in turn means you have to have DH with you - then the obvious solution is that your DH doesn't act like a dick, and helps properly rather than kicking clothes around, etc.

That’s exactly it @HunterBidensBurnerPhone (sorry multi tasking.) Thanks.

It’s so strange @Pizzalover46 that you can’t see that it is the OP starting the thread about her “massively stressful” Saturday mornings

and she has taken very real offence at suggestions how to change

and you just keep shouting that it works for the op so we should back off

it’s.. bizarre

OP is the one who started a thread complaining about how stressful Saturday mornings are it clearly isn't fine at all, is it?

🤣
my thoughts exactly!

@Pizzalover46

this! She herself said it’s “massively stressful “ all I was saying she doesn’t have to do it! Op is every bit as important as the husband and kids!

Definitely an over reaction so tbh I think there are far deeper issues in your marriage here.

Well he can get his practice in once a week whilst you're having a lovely time at swimming.

It was disrespectful kicking your clothes. I would have been furious with that alone. Add in his lack of help and trying to increase obstacles to you leaving on time knowing you were pressed for time would make me incandescent.

Regardless of removing stress factors - I agree with that advice from pp generally - it’s essential to pull together as a couple and as a family unit. I don’t use bad language generally speaking but you were remarkably restrained.

Right🤣

Sorry what? What are some of these replies?!

I don’t think you overreacted ant all.

He sounds desperately lacking.

I understand why you want to take both kids but you could see it as a morning to spend with your older child, including a run in the park, give your husband the chance to learn the settle the baby for a nap, if he can manage that then he will have a break, baby is napped and you get quality time with your eldest. It sounds a lot easier than getting everyone out of the door.

Just a couple of ideas - could you take DD1 on public transport to the pool, then DH leaves the house when he is ready to go get breakfast and let DD2 nap and then picks you up?

Could you plan to all go to McDonald's for breakfast before swimming so you're out earlier but have something ready so if you're running late for breakfast DD1 eats breakfast in the car and you go straight to swimming.

The op isn't getting up at 6am because of the swimming she's getting up at 6am because she has a baby and a toddler

….And?

What some of you don’t seem to understand is that it shouldn’t be stressful. It is stressful because of DH, not the kids.

I am bored to tears with the ‘why don’t you’d’; they’ve been covered thoroughly. Any other solution either involves a stressed tired baby or DD1 not going swimming.

People do understand that. But you can't force your husband to grow up and pull his weight, which is why we're offering alternative solutions - to try and help you.

If you won't stop the swimming lessons and can't leave the baby at home, and your DH won't buck up his attitude then I don't think there is a solution, really.

And it’s not helping. I’ve been clear about this. Any alternatives you all suggest are crazy adding to any stress.

DH isn’t normally too bad but I did lose my temper and snapped this morning and we are over it. But what about …

It’s like you think that the overwhelming majority of us don’t have or had babies and children who did swimming lessons. And somehow you’re situation is so unique that suggestions are all utterly invalid

So… go. I mean seriously OP. It’s like you think you’re forced to stay

The majority of posters have been calling on their own experience to try to help you ease the stress. I don't understand why that is stressing you too?

The answer is staring you in the face. You have a DH problem. You need to sit him down and clearly explain to him in words of not more than one syllable, that he needs to stop acting the arse when you are under pressure, and that you need to work as a team.

It's not easy going from one child to two and it sounds as if your baby is still quite young.

He pushed you too far this morning and you snapped. I think any of us would have, even the goody two shoes who deny it. Use that to point out to him that his behaviour was ridiculous, and it's not to happen again.

You are still very early in your life as parents, and you need to work together and support each other.

And don't continue arguing with idiots here, because it won't make you feel any better.

The thread has been worked through, and I think you probably know now how you need to resolve it.

ETA - most of the suggestions made were not "crazy". They were things that worked for those of us who have long experience of being mums and dads.