To not think 41 is that old for pregnancy

[User7778889]

I was lucky enough to have kids in my early 30’s but obviously many aren’t. Dh said that my friend 41 is very old for pregnancy and he worries about her child’s future.

This is bollocks because the term ‘geriatric mother’ is no
longer used and hasn’t been for ages.

It depends on the person. I am 42 and I don't think I could have another now, I just don't have the energy. But I know others in their late 40s who are super fit and could probably take it in their stride.

But why is that bad? What is inherently wrong with being 60 with a teenager? At 60 you have a huge amount of life experience to draw on, you’re generally still active and in reasonable health, you’re likely to be more financially stable than a 30 year old. None of which makes you a poor parent.

It’s too old. I’m 27 with a 70 year old mum who’s health is now rapidly declining and tbh I’ve always found the age difference strange and awkward. 33 would be my cut off limit.

48 here with a 7 year old, not feeling old at all

My dad was 26 when I was born, and he died of a sudden heart attack when I was 20. My dad's mum had him at 37 (considered very old for the time/social situation) and she lived to be 95 and outlived two of her three children.

Of course I know it's in some ways riskier to have kids older, but statistics only get you so far - what matters is what happens in your particular family, and there are a lot of factors and a good dose of randomness that decide that. The upshot for me is, I don't judge anyone for the age they have children at.

Just chiming in, slightly off topic, to say that I'm 39 and pregnant, due just after my 40th.
I think the 'geriatric pregnancy' thing is over done for comic effect in films and TV, or maybe it's more of a thing in America.
No one medical has used the term 'geriatric pregnancy' or even 'advanced maternal age' once and they didn't in my last pregnancy (when I was also 'geriatric') either.

No medical professionals use the term geriatric pregnancy anymore!

Well physically there are issue ,s with older women having babies but most will have healthy babies its just the older you are the risk increases
That said
Ima parent of a disabled child who.wss born when I wss 36'and I know a lot of mothers who were younger than me who.had disabled children
Its just an extra risk which you have to take into consideration.

Your DH is correct

Lots of people don't want to hear that though

@89redballoons

If your dad had you at 40, you'd have been 6 when he passed.

Some people get bad luck and others good luck but generally people die and get ill as they get older.

A horrible accident or unexpected health condition doesnt mane being older better, precisely the opposite

To answer the question, 41 is not 'too old' but it seems older to me. It's not what I'd want, but it's hardly exceptional

I had my first child at 41, I wonder if any of my friends husbands are worried about my child's future!

It's not for me, I'd like to be around and fairly active for my grandchildren, great grand children and maybe even great great grandchildren like my grandparents were

I expect more than just the husbands are thinking that!

Had my 3rd at 42. Not old at all.

Appreciate your opinion @berryice But I don't know that a woman 'plans' to have a child in their 40s. Circumstances dictate most of the time.

Also, imo, I don't believe that people want the big house or fancy car before they have a child.

I had mine at 27 and 28. My friends, made at antenatal classes, were all late 30s, early 40s. They all wanted to be pregnant and have children years and years before they did. They didn't have massive houses, SUVs. They had just tried and tried to be pregnant for years and had failed.

I find your post to be ignorant. And very hurtful.

😂😂😂You clearly don't have teenagers.

I think 41 is too old to have a baby personally but each to their own.

It's on the old side. I can see that you'd have to think about potential issues. My FIL had a second marriage/family. While his younger children were still at school her had cataract surgery, 2 lots of cancer... yes, these things do happen to younger people but the likelihood increases as you get older. His children are now early 20s and both are requiring some extra support (one at Uni, missed out on offer first time so he unplanned how year, one with mental health issues that are likely to to long term). He and his wife had hoped to retire but haven't been able to even though he's nearly 70 and she's 64. They are tired and stressed.

I think it can work out just fine, but it's sensible to have good plans in place in case of ill health. So decent amount of savings and good godparents in place perhaps. And a very clear, well thought-out will.

I'm 60 with a 16 year old. Nothing horrendous about it at all. We take part in the same sport together, share a number of interests. Still got best part of a decade before pension age.

My parents were 43 I'm now 36 and I feel robbed that I and my kids won't get as much time with them.
Brutally honest that my perspective. Hence why I had mine at 21 and 25.
My childhood was fine didn't notice they were older etx

@Painto

Yeah, maybe you're right and it was just written in the stars that my dad would have died at 46. Or, maybe if he had had some time in his 30s to build his career up without the pressure of trying to provide for a young family, or perhaps if he hadn't married really young to someone who in some ways wasn't suitable for him at all, then he'd have taken better care of his health and wouldn't have used overeating as self medication, and wouldn't have ended up 45, obese and vulnerable to a genetic predisposition to heart disease. 🤷‍♀️

I just mean that there are a lot of factors that weigh on when the best time is to have children, and it is individual and complicated for everyone.

I’m 59 with a 17 year old. It’s absolutely fine.

People saying they wish their parents were younger - if they’d had children younger then it would have been different children

Too old for me personally. I hope to see my kids & my grandkids grow up.