Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

[Redcargidan]

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

I do this now I’m a parent 100% of the time and did before my kids if I knew them well. My favourite gift for new parents is a gift voucher for Just Eat / Uber Eats etc or even just dominos if I know they like it. Every person I’ve gifted this to has said it was their favourite and most useful gift!

Since I do this, I see it now paid back in kind often. Sometimes those who haven’t experienced this, haven’t had kids or haven’t had small babies in a long time just wouldn’t think about it. I have also sent the Cook new parent bundles to those I know would prefer this to take aways. Each parent I have done this for now does it if they can afford to for the next people in their lives to have kids, I guess it sets a wave of a great gift idea

This to say that I’m a pretty good cook so the food is well received and something I’ve cooked for them before / know they love of mine kind of thing.

biggest advice is the food voucher, absolute god send on those harrrrrrd days.

this only covers a few meals of course, I’d recommend taking pressure off cooking and go for healthy / delicious / carby ready meals that are easy to cook and so many of the supermarkets have great ranges now. Don’t stress yourself by batch cooking, empty your freezer and buy a couple a week in your usual shop if finances a concern. Stock up for the first four weeks and the pressure will fall away. Make sure it’s things you like to eat and can bang in the oven with one hand. We weren’t meant to do this baby thing alone, sometimes our village is an M&S carbonara. ♥️

This has been an interesting thread, a lot more churchgoing MNers than I would have expected! Loved the dad who learned to cook specially.

We never got any meals when dd was born 20 years ago, firstly noone in my family back then was the sort to whip up a bunch of homemade meals in tupperware. I think supermarket readymeals were a bit more acceptable, even takeaways. There's a lot more awareness now of the value of home cooked vs processed.

I probably wouldn't do it if it was expected. I did it as my DSIL had a difficult pregnancy and blue-lighted a couple of times.

If you choose to have kids, surely we all know what it's like.
Why not prepare in advance.

Interesting to hear people complaining of having a certain amount of cooked meals and not more, why not be grateful for the few that you got as compared to nothing at all.

As for wanting more help when kids were toddlers, again, no one owes anyone help or cooled meals, it's a favour but ultimately why have more kids if you know you struggle looking after them.

Good point!

My sister is not a cook but when she is part of a meal rota, she does a big pasta dish (jar of sauce) with veg and chicken or tuna. It’s not the most nutritious meal in the entire world ever but it’s not bad. It’s probably better than yet another slice of cold toast that the exhausted new mum grabbed for dinner last night though.

It is very kind of you to offer. 🙂🙂Some people are fussy which is totally understandable or maybe they do have enough freezer space and so have plenty. My closet friend eats like a fussy 5 year old so she asked not to have people cook meals for her but she let me because she knows me well enough to say what she will and won’t eat.

It's interesting that a lot people have asked you if others have done that, but haven't done it themselves 😂

Yeah I mean if I knew someone well enough to not be paranoid about dietary preferences/allergies then yes I would absolutely make someone a meal. However I think when I was younger I might not have considered it.

No but I wouldn’t have wanted them to, I was perfectly capable of managing cooking for the family. If I had been worried I wouldn’t manage I would have batched cooked before having the baby

I wasn't worried about it, but I couldn't cook after my first delivery. I could barely move.

I wish I could have done this for my bestie when she had her first a couple of years ago, but unfortunately we live too far away for this to happen. So instead of buying things for the baby (who had lots of excited aunties and other relatives to do this) we bought the new parents enough Cook vouchers to last for a week.
I'm expecting baby 2 and have told my parents and in-laws that if they want to come round and visit within the first couple of weeks, they need to either bring food, or the willingness to put a load of laundry on, wipe round surfaces, so a quick bit of vacuuming etc. I know my family want to help out, but unless I spell it out to them, sometimes they struggle to know what to do usefully. I've also made them aware of where to find the kettle, tea, coffee and biscuits so they can look after themselves.

we took a giant fish pie to friends who just had a baby - she said she remembered eating it in the middle of the night when up feeding the baby and it made her feel great / nurtured

If you choose to have kids, surely we all know what it's like.
Why not prepare in advance.

I assume you've had straight forward recoveries after birth, or no complications during pregnancy, but this isn't the case for everyone. Life throws curveballs you can't always foresee. Sometimes if you think you're prepared enough, in reality, you might not be!

This is where other cultures are amazing. I've heard it's common in other European countries, far east and middle east as I experienced personally.
I didn't like how they live in each others pockets and would find their ways suffocating but when someone has a baby or illness or death, wow! They bring mountains of food, well wishes and good advice/support.
I didn't have anything like that here, it's just different, we leave people to it more as people like space but comes at a cost of feeling more alone. It's pros and cons to both
I prefer this way of life more still but was good to experience.

I batch cooked and froze stuff before baby was born so all we had to do was cook rice/potatoes/pasta. I didn’t have family close by though.

Lucky you that you were well enough before and after birth to cook.
im never well enough in pregnancy to be standing around batch cooking, and definitely not right now batch cooking for 4 of us enough to make any impact after the birth.
a lot of privileged people on this thread who seem to have no concept that they actually are very privileged to have had exceptionally easy pregnancies, births and postnatal periods. This may shock you, but not everyone is as lucky 🙄

Exactly, but also nobody knows what it’s like when they choose to have their first. Christ the sanctimony in this thread is disgusting 🙈🤦🏽‍♀️

I’m so grateful I’ve had nice friends tbh. We don’t have family here either, and thankfully my friends have stepped in if necessary.
also it’s just called being a nice person. Why on earth wouldn’t you want to make someone’s life happier/easier so they can enjoy their newborn instead of cooking. I can’t believe the level of unkindness on here.

Good lord, she had a baby, a thing that millions of people do, she's not a deity!

Unless this post was tongue in cheek...which would explain the ridiculous legacy comment!

However I do agree that he should be cooking/organising meals. That's what a decent person would do.

I think you’re missing the point. The point is that both members of the couple or just the mum as a single parent are tired and in the midst of having a newborn. And if one can ease that for them both with a ready meal why the hell wouldn’t you. Just because you’re a mean person and why should they have it easier when I didn’t?! There’s literally no reason whatsoever not to drop someone round a casserole when they’ve had a baby, regardless of whether the dad can cook. And it’s an absolute joke that people are saying otherwise quite frankly.

When I was pregnant with my children I prepared in advance ready cooked meals so just had to tell husband what he needed to add I stayed and cooked for 1daughter as she lived a long way The other I brought ready cooked meals for her My husbands parents never brought any prepared meals just wanted endless cups of tea and waiting on They never thought about doing anything to help at all Yes Cook meals are helpful

We have been part of multiple food trains through Church where we all take it in turns to provide fresh, nutritious evening meals (with pudding and sometimes breakfast items like croissants too if people are feeling extra generous) for about 2 weeks after baby is born.

We're expecting one will be set up for us when our next baby is born.

No never.

Hence mentioning my DSIL who was in such a situation.

Should have tagged who I was replying to.

I'm talking of people who have the means to prepare but choose not to or have an expectation of others to look after their kids for them.