Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

[Redcargidan]

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

I made my friends a home-cooked lasagna then realized they were in the hospital for a week so ate it and brought them an M&S one 🤣
I'd find it hard to do with friends unless I knew specifically what they liked and that I didn't need the dishes back, family I would do this for. My sister is due her first baby but lives in another county so will look at a cook meals gift set

Nope, nothing. In-laws turned up 2 days after I got out of hospital despite me being in a bad way physically & mentally. Also brought their son & his girlfriend without asking us first. They came at night, stayed for hours & all asked for cuppas. I just wanted to cry.

My parents brought lots of meals- I was lucky. My friend brought me a lasagne she had made. I appreciated that lasagne more than anything I was gifted for the baby. It meant so much. I was very cross (internally) with people who came over at meal times. When you have a newborn people don’t understand how every moment is taken up by caring for them and trying not to fall down in a heap from exhaustion. Not to mention the pain I was in for weeks after birth.

Dh recently batch cooked for a friend- enough for a few meals for the mum and partner
It’s definitely his way of showing love.

I was so fuming when my sister in law stayed past 6pm. I was dying inside from pain. Could barely stand. Nipples killed me. Leaking milk. Bleeding. Exhausted. Traumatised from the birth too.

I had a home delivery - so MIL comes around day 2 empty handed DH offers the in-laws fish and chips but they declined as they had it a couple of days before hand - so he runs out to shops and cooks a home made casserole - We also had a 2 year old - hopeless grand parents going forward as well . Never ever helped with anything

Bear in mind here, that I meal prepped in the last few weeks of pregnancy, so I didn’t expect meals from our family. However, my husbands family came over the day we got back from the hospital (we were happy for them to do this) and they brought loads of food from the shops, meats from the butchers that we could easily throw in the oven etc. They also cleaned up and did laundry for us which I appreciated more than anything tbh.

They knew I meal prepped so I imagine that was the reason they brought the foods they did. There was plenty of pizzas etc and snacks for us.

It's not really a thing, though I think most people who have had kids recognise its hard to cook when you have a newborn. I have given and received meals, and also offered and it not been accepted, but I don't think many people realise just how helpful it would be. I suggest you try something like gousto, quick meals and all ingredients weighed and prepped for you, takes the stress out of cooking but still healthier and cheaper than a takeaway. Helped us massively after our first baby.

Nobody did anything like this for us but I can’t wait to do this for my kids if they choose to have children. Not just food but a clean or washing etc
I often do this for friends too if they’re new parents or poorly.

Yes, people did this when we had each of our children and again when I was diagnosed with a life changing condition. It has been massively appreciated every time. I have cooked meals and taken them round for friends when they have had little babies or even just a lot going on (one friend has a large family and when they all got Covid recently I took them two big homemade lasagnes with a couple of bags of salad and a cake). We didn’t have family living nearby when our children were newborns so maybe that is why?

Erm nope 4 kids on I will keep waiting lol

Yes! My parents came round with all sorts of meals (full roast chicken and roast spuds, a m&s meal deal, quiche, home made lasagne ready to go in oven etc.) and three of my friends brought meals when visiting over lunch time. Was much appreciated!

YANBU but nobody did it for me. Two children, and with every child the whole family of MIL came to see the baby and be given coffee&cake and entertained. PIL always there as well "to show the,way". DH at the office, no help there, but he agreed with me and asked his mum to stop it. She didn't. It's not even close family, I don't know them, wouldn't recognize them in the streets. Both PILs only child, so distant cousins etc. visiting. And they all have a bit of a drive so MIL decided I had to feed them! With both my newborns we left for the seaside when they were barely a few weeks old, without leaving an address.

I think it’s easier if you’ve grown up seeing people, male or female, cook, not just heating ready meals.

A love of food - appreciating good tasting, nutritious food, preparing it, sharing it - is probably more common in some cultures than others.

I must say it's impossible in the western culture to do these kind of favours to new moms as the attitude is always about "they have to sort their own lives, my comfort is more important or it's not my business".

and yet
a) you did manage to do it
b) lots of other people have said they do
c) a few have said they had people bring them meals
d) virtually everyone has said how much it would be appreciated.

With both of mine I have had at least one friend either buy ready meals for us or bring home made. Not already Tupperwared up, but in a tray so we just portion and heat up.
I also would and have done this for friends. I’m pregnant with a third now, and I don’t expect it of course, but it will be very welcomed if people do bring food round.
one of my friends also brought round snacky bits for me while I was feeding, which was also super useful.
im also the friend that goes round and does the washing up, clean the kitchen etc rather than sits asking to hold the baby. I can’t abide people wanting to hold my baby, if visitors came round and chucked a load of washing on or out to dry, or washed up, or hoovered I would find that much more helpful 😂

Yes for all 4 of mine or brought ingredients and cooked for us. We have done the same for others and for single friends following difficult births, gone with shopping, did their housework & tended their allotment.

Nobody did this.

Everyone said they wanted to come over to help, but everyone just came round to hold the baby and I had to host them, put in loads of effort, I hated it

Yes, my mum and MIL brought meals when they came to visit, and a couple of dear friends left deliveries of casseroles on the doorstep too. My sister brought a massive platter of gorgeous fruit to snack on.
We had building work done when our third was a couple of months old, and a neighbour saw and made a few meals for us, one a week for a few weeks. It meant the world, it really did. So much so that I've done it often for friends and relatives since, if they've had an operation for example. We should look after each other more in our communities I think.

My friend brought me home cooked meals when she visited and it was the sweetest, so appreciated gesture. I was surprised by it, but actually it is the most thoughtful thing to do for a new mom.
When my other friends had their baby, I did the same. I just left it outside of their house, let them know it is there. I know they appreciated it too.
If we all did it for each other….bit like the pay it forward …..

OMG, read the room!
Would you like a medal dear?

Yes I do, but I tend do do it in most circumstances. New babies, illness, bereavement. I never know the tight thing to say but I’ll always leave a homemade lasagne on the doorstep.

I don't know anyone who has had this happen only in films and on TV

Before we had our baby, we batch cooked a load of meals and put them in the freezer for the nights where we were too tired.
We made things like Risotto, Bolognese, Lasagne, Orzo etc

It’s what people do!!
it’s not an illness having a baby 🤣🤣 so why do people act like they’re ill after having one??

Because most people feel like shit for a few days at least. How fortunate you were not to.