Did guests bring you precooked meals when you had a newborn?

[Redcargidan]

Not an AIBU but a question. We have a newborn baby. Multiple people have asked me if our friends/family/visitors have brought things like precooked meals in tupperware (that can just be put in the microwave) when they visit, that sort of thing.
Nobody has done this and nobody did when our eldest was a newborn. In truth, nothing would be more appreciated right now than a meal I did not have to cook. Is this a thing? Do other people generally do this, or are the people that have said it just expectant?

I am fighting the urge to spend a fortune on takeaways because we are way too tired to cook, and am VERY jealous if other people generally receive precooked meals from visitors!
YABU - this isn't really a done thing
YANBU - this is a thing

The temptation to ask people to bring these instead of clothes that will only fit baby for 1 week when they come round! (Joking but wish I had the balls to do this )

I feel like this idea is a hangover from the past, when men weren't expected to cook or do any domestic work, and also when ready meals/pre cooked foods weren't as readily available.

Yes, I could bring a friend a lasagne, soup or pie, but what's the point really - my friend could just buy one thats probably nicer and cheaper than I could make. There's so much variety available, plus there's pre cut veggies, salads, etc. That stuff wasn't at the supermarket 40 years ago.

My neighbour brought a frozen homemade meal round, no one else did. We didn’t really like the look of it so it went in the bin 😬

We ate a LOT of ready meals.

I think it's lack of headspace to do all that when you've had a baby. Some new mothers breeze through, but some struggle.

I did it for my DB and DSIL as she was admitted for a week after giving birth due to loss of blood and needing a transfusion etc.

DB was working full time rushing from work to the hospital, spending time with baby, then with DSIL as she could hold the baby.

She almost died in labour so it was high emotions all round.

I ordered a lot of COOK meals and batch cooked too to stick in the freezer.

I didn't do it for my BF whohaf her two years ago and wish I had.

I think this is a very American thing to do! Me and my friends and family have never bought food to anyone. It will probably become a thing in the next few years here like baby showers have

No we don’t know these sort of people in real life 😕 it’s always written in baby articles that this happens but no. I’d just get some marks ready meals, and veg is no bother to go with them. Or things like chicken kiev and microwave mashed potatoes, pizzas etc just sort it for yourself.

No, not at all. TBH it is something I feel quite sad about, as I've made meals for people before.
The one friend I have, who would help has so much on her plate, I could never accept her help. She's an angel and she's already tried to tell me that she has all these plans of how she will help when I have my next baby. Though I'll be there for her in those exact ways when she has her next.

Yes, we had very close friends (about 3 couples) & fam bring us food. But we also froze and premade food as we weren’t expecting anyone to.

My DH is also an excellent cook, so he took over this aspect of our lives (a godsend, honestly!)

Nope never happened you me , nor did I hear of it for any of my friends

Get a takeaway delivered go easy on yourself

Don't be so ridiculous. People still die from childbirth and others have life changing injuries or develop them from pregnancy. Not to mention that a section is major surgery and requires recovery time.

Talk about clueless.

Nobody did it for me OP. It must be so lovely to have a family that cares like that.

For dd1,we had nothing. For dd2, a family friend came to cook us lunch and dinner at our house. For DS, we bought a freezer 2 months before his due date and started batch cooking loads and intentionally cooking extras. By the time he was born, we had enough for lunch and dinner for 6 weeks. No one brought food either so we were lucky we planned ahead.

Nope but then again no one has ever helped us with any of of three dcs. My in-laws were the worst re this , actually they caused work 🤷‍♀️ Such is life …
Also for me I was way more exhausted once I had toddlers , found it harder to cook and clean with mobile babies . The newborn bit for me wasn’t the part I needed help but definitely would have loved a bit of care and nurturing once my dcs were older babies and toddlers especially with multiple dcs. Apart from my wonderful husband ( and I know im lucky), I just don’t get any type of help from family whatsoever..

I find it so sad that people don't do this for their loved ones. It was so appreciated when people did it for me, I remember eating a meal that my MIL had made for us at about 3 days post partum and it was the first thing I'd eaten that I had actually enjoyed. My body has been through so much and I was exhausted and stunned and I really felt the love in that plate of food. It was so nice to have someone look after me in the absence of my own mum.

I always make the time to cook for friends and family when there's a new baby or a death. It's a small thing you can do to support people when they need it. They don't need flowers or 375 babygrows, but we all need to eat and don't always have the headspace to feed ourselves well.

My lovely mum. Came to visit dd2, stayed the one night and loaded my freezer with meals she had cooked at home for us. She's heaven sent though. Definitely not the norm in my experience. My mil did send food for me for the 2 days I was in hospital but didn't bother when I came home. My dh cooked alongside us using the freezer meals so they lasted us a good while. My plan had been to batch cook from 36 weeks but everything that could go wrong did in the last few weeks so I didn't get chance.

It's nice if someone close to you can do this for you but shouldn't be an expectation. Some people are also funny about other people's food prepping, spice levels, dont like certain meals etc. I'd get them a justeat voucher instead.

I found this an unpleasant response. It’s perfectly normal for the OP & her husband to feel tired when they have a newborn. Life (& of course as in this case very new life!) sometimes puts demands on us that are hard to deal with - it is not being ‘suddenly incompetent’ or ‘precious’ to feel you need help, or to ask for it.

OP, congratulations on your baby! In answer to your question, yes, my family were amazing- my in-laws brought food regularly and my mum came to stay to help out (& did all the cooking) for 2 weeks after my husband went back to work. If you’re not lucky enough to have any relatives turning up with hotpots though, I definitely second the delivery box idea/ ordering in a load of Charlie Bigham’s meals/ batch cooking at the weekends once you’re able to. Or just boiled eggs/ cheese on toast/ tinned tuna with mayonnaise in a baked potato with a handful of lettuce & some tomatoes (sorry if you’re vegan or hate all of those suggestions, but you get the idea). Good luck!

One friend did this for me and it was very welcome

Some people did this for us it may not have been home cooked but would be a frozen meal or something. I always remember my DS rocking up the day that we got out of hospital (we’d been in for a week) with her kids and a load of pizza. She took DD and her and the kids were having their cuddles while me and DP were munching on the food that they brought around. It felt so good and so helpful I always do the same if I am visiting close friends or family. I want to recreate that feeling. Normally a nice meal from COOK or from the frozen meal section in M&S or Waitrose.

When I had my son, a friend brought round a homemade apple crumble. I still remember it as the best present we ever received!!

I did from a few people but I had an awful birth and was quite unwell, I couldn't do anything for about 2 weeks other then nurse and comfort the baby. It was mostly relatives and to help my husband who was still working full time and taking care of me. My relatives would spend the day with me and make food. I truly appreciate how lucky I was during that time. I don't know how I would have coped without their help. I make a point of taking food when I visit mums with newborns. Even if it's just a sandwich at lunchtime.

My parents and brother/sister in law both did a food shop and bought over cooked meals for us. My parents also have us £300 to spend on takeaways.

No, we didn't get any meals or help with meals but it is a nice idea and I'll bear it in mind next time a friend has a baby.

Nobody did it for us but I did send a Cook package of 20 meals to my friend who just had a baby. She said it was great

Never heard of this but ours are teens now and things might have changed. I know we had already stocked our freezer with pre-made food anyway and we don't have family close either. Parents cooked when they came.

Congratulations on you new baby OP. It was a thing when I had my babies (90s). When my daughter in law had our DGC I took meals round for a few weeks after the birth. The nicknamed me Granny-roo. They said it was a life safer. Even two years on I still take the odd meal round when I know they’ve been having a tough time (baby I’ll/sleepless nights etc).

Sadly they said it’s not a thing amongst their friends - nobody did it for them but all said they wish they had. I hope it makes a come back and people start doing it again.

PS: when I used to deliver meals I didn’t stay to visit either

We were very fortunate and had many friends and family bring us home cooked meals for the first few weeks our DS was born (during Covid restrictions so I suppose people had a bit more time and felt a bit sorry for us, especially as I spent most of my pregnancy in lockdown and ended up with a c section).

DD was born last year and we just a handful of close friends and my parents brought meals over, a couple of friends also bought fancy ready meals over.

tbh it wasn’t something I was even aware of prior to having children but it was such a life saver for us that when friends have had babies since, it’s the first thing I do! We even bought our best friends a 2 week Cook freezer meal voucher for when their DS was born over clothes!