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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being ignored by someone new

189 replies

Babagirl · 10/11/2023 13:27

For the last three weeks I have been talking to someone over Facebook (my old school friends brother) and meeting him. The last Time i seen him I went for a drink with him and his friend after I finished work, his friend (who is a good friend of my sister) warned me to be careful. He told me that the person I had been speaking to infact had a girlfriend and not to trust him. I confronted him about this and he said his friend was lying and trying to get into my pants ( this confirmed later on that night when his friend tried to kiss me but I rejected his advances) I didn’t want to speak to him as I believed he was lying so I went into the girls toilets to collect my thoughts to him following me in and refusing to leave when I asked him too as he wanted to “explain” him self. The whole night he was recording me and sending videos of me to my friends boyfriend ( they are good friends, I found this out days later). Still denying he had a girlfriend, I didn’t believe him and I seen in his phone he had several messages of someone saved as “my forever” so I blocked him.

He rang me of his mums phone, he made new Facebook accounts to get hold of me telling me that he chooses me and he’s not been with his ex for months and after about 3 days I got back into contact with him as I was being told he was telling people very personal details about our sex life so I wanted to know why. He basically said he was angry and hurt so he did that because I blocked him, he wanted to speak to me properly so I went round to his house to see him. When there I left my glasses as I went round to his after work.

the day after he wanted to meet me but I told him I already had plans with my friend and that I would meet him after. He was telling me I had best be back home for 12 or he’s snapping my glasses ( sending me photos wearing them) I told him point blank I am not meeting him at all then and the next minute he sent me photo of my glasses snapped in half with the lenses out. I told him not to speak to me ever again and now he’s saying he’s going out tonight and he’s going to have sex with someone but it’ll be someone that I know.

he is completely point blank ignoring me, every time I try to apologise for not meeting him he just ignores me I do understand that he’s clearly upset because I haven’t met him but I don’t understand why he will not speak to me. I feel like I’ve messed up and I’m not quiet sure what to do now

OP posts:
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Thisusernamenotavailable · 10/11/2023 13:30

broken glasses are a bargain in exchange for avoiding all this drama. Congrats.

Stephy1024 · 10/11/2023 13:33

You run girl! That man is a walking red flag if I ever saw one. Thank your lucky stars you didn't get more involved with him. You did nothing wrong. He's manipulative and controlling.

GrumpyOldCrone · 10/11/2023 13:34

He’s controlling and dangerous. Someone who breaks your glasses today might break your arm tomorrow. Block him on everything and never speak to him again.

YesIAmTired · 10/11/2023 13:34

Run and never look back.

Deathbyfluffy · 10/11/2023 13:35

What on earth?! Run, block.
Sounds like a lunatic tbh

GettinChillyHereFFS · 10/11/2023 13:36

Why do you keep trying to apologise? Just block everywhere and move on.

Babagirl · 10/11/2023 13:40

Tbh I feel bad like I’ve let him dow for not meeting him I did say to him that I would. I’ve spoken to him since but he just calls me a lying bitch and he’s telling me I’m playing games so now he is going to.

OP posts:
Buzzbee7 · 10/11/2023 13:40

You've got nothing to apologise for, best thing is to move on.

Babagirl · 10/11/2023 13:41

That’s what he sent to me yesterday

Being ignored by someone new
OP posts:
Springcleaninginsummer · 10/11/2023 13:42

Yes, we don't need a picture of broken glasses - we understand what the words mean. Why don't you see this as an assault on yourself? If you were there in person he would be directing that rage at you.

NotObligedToArgueWithStrangers · 10/11/2023 13:44

Run and don't look back is what you should do now. Consider it a lucky escape, he sounds like an absolute nightmare.

Babagirl · 10/11/2023 13:45

well he’s said I need to accept my consequences I.e my glasses and I’ve inserted the pictures to show how he’s broke them he hasn’t just like snapped them he’s like crushed them which I find absolutely crazy.

OP posts:
PonyPatter44 · 10/11/2023 13:46

Lovey, I'm sorry he broke your glasses but better your glasses than your arm or your nose. Get yourself to Specsavers and get some new ones, and block this nasty little thug on every channel.

You don't owe him anything. He is pathetic and childish, but also potentially dangerous. Protect yourself and put this whole episode behind you. There are a million men in the world who will love you properly and won't play nasty mind-games like this.

YesIAmTired · 10/11/2023 13:46

Babagirl · 10/11/2023 13:40

Tbh I feel bad like I’ve let him dow for not meeting him I did say to him that I would. I’ve spoken to him since but he just calls me a lying bitch and he’s telling me I’m playing games so now he is going to.

You don't owe anyone new an explanation for not wanting to date them.

It also sounds like you blame yourself a lot for no good reason.

OrigamiOwl · 10/11/2023 13:48

Block him and don't entertain any contact with him.
He's proven that he's a liar, that he's controlling, he's petty and he gossips about your price life. He isn't a winner.

ValenciaOrange · 10/11/2023 13:51

This man is bad news. As per your title you are not being ignored by someone new , you are being manipulated by an abusive man.
Have nothing more to do with him, you have done nothing wrong at all. He constantly oversteps your boundaries, following you into the toilets , telling you he will break your glasses. None of this is the behaviour of a decent man.
The best thing you can do for yourself is have nothing more to do with him.

Babagirl · 10/11/2023 13:53

I think that’s partly me I find my self constantly apologising to everyone especially for the smallest of things that I probably shouldn’t even need to apologise for. I have a lot mental health problems and I have been really struggling to find my self at the moment, I’m In the middle of my new dosage of medication so I’m hoping when that kicks in I’m not full of guilt and worth 24/7

OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 10/11/2023 13:53

WTF why are you not running away and never looking back from a man who makes threats and deliberately damages your things? Not to mention talking to people about your sex life, not leaving you alone, recording you. This guy is bad news.

Babagirl · 10/11/2023 13:56

My friend contacted me and told me that her boyfriend now knows the ins and outs of what me and him go up to and to be honest I kind of did feel violated because no way should my friends boyfriend know anything about my sex live. My friend has been calling him a gossip girl and I do want to stop speaking to him but I feel like he’s not going to let that happen

OP posts:
VelvetVoice · 10/11/2023 13:57

please someone tell me this is a joke

YesIAmTired · 10/11/2023 13:58

OP - you should get the police involved if things escalate.

Babagirl · 10/11/2023 14:00

I wish this was a joke unfortunately this is my love life lol a big joke

Being ignored by someone new
Being ignored by someone new
OP posts:
Mnetcurious · 10/11/2023 14:01

“He’s not going to let that happen”

It is you choice whether or not to speak to him. Block him on everything, ignore, ignore, ignore. He cannot make you speak to him if you choose not to. Please don’t, for your own sake.

Springcleaninginsummer · 10/11/2023 14:02

What love life? Do you see anything loving there?

JamSandle · 10/11/2023 14:03

This man is abusive and dangerous. Do not continue talking to him and turn to loved ones or keep talking here for support.

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