Being ignored by someone new

[Babagirl]

For the last three weeks I have been talking to someone over Facebook (my old school friends brother) and meeting him. The last Time i seen him I went for a drink with him and his friend after I finished work, his friend (who is a good friend of my sister) warned me to be careful. He told me that the person I had been speaking to infact had a girlfriend and not to trust him. I confronted him about this and he said his friend was lying and trying to get into my pants ( this confirmed later on that night when his friend tried to kiss me but I rejected his advances) I didn’t want to speak to him as I believed he was lying so I went into the girls toilets to collect my thoughts to him following me in and refusing to leave when I asked him too as he wanted to “explain” him self. The whole night he was recording me and sending videos of me to my friends boyfriend ( they are good friends, I found this out days later). Still denying he had a girlfriend, I didn’t believe him and I seen in his phone he had several messages of someone saved as “my forever” so I blocked him.

He rang me of his mums phone, he made new Facebook accounts to get hold of me telling me that he chooses me and he’s not been with his ex for months and after about 3 days I got back into contact with him as I was being told he was telling people very personal details about our sex life so I wanted to know why. He basically said he was angry and hurt so he did that because I blocked him, he wanted to speak to me properly so I went round to his house to see him. When there I left my glasses as I went round to his after work.

the day after he wanted to meet me but I told him I already had plans with my friend and that I would meet him after. He was telling me I had best be back home for 12 or he’s snapping my glasses ( sending me photos wearing them) I told him point blank I am not meeting him at all then and the next minute he sent me photo of my glasses snapped in half with the lenses out. I told him not to speak to me ever again and now he’s saying he’s going out tonight and he’s going to have sex with someone but it’ll be someone that I know.

he is completely point blank ignoring me, every time I try to apologise for not meeting him he just ignores me I do understand that he’s clearly upset because I haven’t met him but I don’t understand why he will not speak to me. I feel like I’ve messed up and I’m not quiet sure what to do now

You are doing the right thing by having nothing to do with him any more.
You run away from him; and fast. You're worth so much more.

What’s wrong with you??? And why would you snitch on your friend who is passing on information to you? Seriously?

OP, you mentioned your mum in one of your screenshot convos to him. What would your mum say if she knew what was going on with him?

Also, do you live on your own? Who does he live with? Is there any chance he's going to try and move into your house?

My mum would not be happy at all I have my own place but he’s gone back to his mums house, from what I know he lived in a city with his ex for two years and he’s recently 5 weeks ago just moved back to his mums

If I’ve been told something, then I’m going to straight up ask him. I wanted to know if he had a girlfriend because to me he said he was single, he would never go back to her, she cheated on him and he left everything behind and moved back to our town.

You’re still too invested op, what do you actually want out of this? Out of him, out of this thread…

Thankyou, he seems to think he will be having sex with my friends and sending me videos but to be honest I really could not care anymore because I want genuine love and that is just evil, so I’ve made it clear I want nothing to do with him I’ve blocked him and his number.

Now keep it blocked!! Seriously!

He can’t even string a sentence together love…block, delete, done.

Mainly people to speak to as I’ve been sat In my own thoughts for days now and I can’t think straight

I will do, luckily he doesn’t have my address I’ve just sat and read back our messages to see why I actually spoke to him. But now looking back he’s never really even said anything nice or romantic to me it’s always him houndin to come to my house or asking who I’m with or where I am.

I’m really sorry, I’m so confused. Am I watching a poorly worded teenage drama?

I don’t think either of you seem old enough to have a proper relationship anyway. So yeah, I guess block and actually don’t speak to each other anymore. But that seems to be such an obvious answer. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Now that you've blocked him, screenshot that message with the threat of CRIMINAL "revenge porn" and send it to your girlfriends so that they know what his motives are when he tries to get into their knickers and can steer clear of him.

Both of you seem really immature. He also sounds like he is controlling and partaking in illegal sexting.

It sounds like you live in a small town. Are you able to go back to uni or college in a different city and get away from this provincial drama?

I grew up in a place that sounds like yours. Left at 18 and never really went back - thank god

He is vile. You have nothing to apologise for please block all contact nobody deserves to be treated like that.

1. he cheated on girlfriend lying to you
2. he shared details of your sex life with friends
3. demanded to meet up threatening to break your glasses
4. actually broke your glasses
5. somehow made you feel you should apologise blocked you everywhere only got back in touch to ask for money
6. why doesnt he have friends/family to borrow from why ask someone he dated, argued with and then blocked.

Sorry to hear you are lonely, that must be really tough. I would try and take up a hobby doing something that interests you and hopefully make some nice friends.

You are 23, there is plenty of time to get back into uni or training of some kind, have a good think what you would like to do and then start making a plan to get into that line of work.

Please stay away from this awful man.

OP you sound ever so vulnerable.

I’d like to gently suggest you go back to your GP and try to explain the depths of your feelings. Maybe write it down in case you can’t talk. You really do need some help and there is a much happier life out there for you than the one you are currently living.

And well done for blocking him, he sounds horrific.

But, you need to be brave and ask for some support around your mental health.

This is the only thing you need to know from the whole of that post to conclude you should NEVER have any contact with this man again.

He was telling me I had best be back home for 12 or he’s snapping my glasses ( sending me photos wearing them) I told him point blank I am not meeting him at all then and the next minute he sent me photo of my glasses snapped in half with the lenses out.

Controlling: check
Abusive: Check
Violent to property: Check
Unwarranted and disproportionate response to you saying no: Check.

He's clearly a wrong'un nasty plus thick is not a great combo in a boyfriend while you're clearly ignoring everyone who's telling you exactly that.

Why are you apologising!?
Run

maybe think about doing a check with the police under is it clares law he sounds dodgy,avoid,be carefull

It sounds like you have been through a lot. Please continue on with going to the GP and a therapist and stick with it for awhile.

There will someone good and loving for you but right now, when you are this vulnerable, the crazies like that guy will flock aroud in droves to use you.

Is there any chance you could have gotten pregnant from being with him? STDs I mean I can't see a vile person like him using a condom responsibly.

Was your previous relationship abusive? Parents?

Others have posted a link to the freedom programme. That will help you a lot.

Consider going back to uni again. It can be a life changing experience for the better.

Can we all just stop calling OP immature and talking about her age? She IS young, she’s said so twice.

OP this man is going to really hurt a woman one day. Probably a succession of them. Don’t let that be you.

you absolutely can have a different life, with good friends, work or study and a lovely partner. don’t chase it in the wrong places, it will all come naturally as you start to heal yourself.

You have a lot of work to do and professional therapy would be great but you can start now.

look at some self help websites and books on emotional regulation skills, self compassion and health relationships. I’m sure people on here have some good recommendations.

try and get out of the house and get fresh air most days, eat well and get lots of sleep. Start with the basics.

contact your local MIND and NHS talking therapies service. They are self referral.

you are worthy of love and kindness, you can start with beginning to show this to yourself ❤️

There's nothing more I can say that's not already been said, apart from reiterate what pp have stated:

PLEASE BLOCK THIS MAN AND NEVER HAVE ANY CONTACT WITH HIM AGAIN. HE IS DANGEROUS!

Take care of yourself sweetheart ❤️

Hoping OP has learned from this, he picked on her vulnerability. OP get advice from a trusted friend about your safety and do not be afraid to stand up for yourself.

I’ve made sure to tell my friends what he’s planning to do, I’ve blocked him and he’s still blocked I have no intentions of unblocking him because after reading peoples opinions on the situation it’s painted a complete different picture for me about him. He’s just a nasty person all in all. I’m going to be on my own for a bit and give my self time to heal.