To be so disheartened? I’ve left it too late.

[Lostcause999]

I’m 40, 2dc, single mum.

Im in a basically minimum wage job that I was lucky to get given my lack of experience and poor skills.
I’m overqualified (academically) for some things but because I got those qualifications 20 years ago they’re irrelevant in anything that is above minimum wage. I stupidly stopped working when I had my oldest dc, went back briefly in between them and then unexpectedly fell pregnant with my second dc. And again - stupidly - had three years out and stayed home with her.
This has left me largely unemployable. I’ve no money or time to retrain so I’m stuck.
Im too old for a career now. I’m feeling really disheartened that I’ve wasted my life like this and will never have achieved anything worthwhile or interesting.

You're not too old and you have a lot of experience/qualifications. I think you just need some support to get into a better job.

Stop being so hard on yourself!

You sound like you need to sort out your mindset. If a company is asking for 50 skills and paying £27k they are dreaming as they’ll never get it. Most of the time it’s a wish list.
You have built skills being at home with your kids. Organisational skills, planning, delegation etc…
And 40 is not too late. It’s still young enough to start a new career particularly in some sectors like NHS, teaching etc… You could even train in data analytics if you learn to code as they are crying out for people who have those skills. You just need to choose something and stick to it. Spend a few hours a week studying and then find a job in that area even it’s really junior. If you are considering a £27k job then sounds like you can afford to go for a junior job that you can get promoted in and get more money after that. Normally only 1 year is sufficient if you really learn as much as you can and be indispensable. It’s never too late. You Judy need to be prepared to put the effort in. The retirement age is 67! You’ve still got 27 years of working in front of you!

Why did you say 'stupidly' had time to look after your children???
I've done the same and loved it. Maybe rethink your words as you come across as being snotty

Because now im a single mother @Flo22
And my kids would probably rather have a mother who was better off and could provide opportunities than one who stayed home for a few years they can’t even remember.

im not being snotty about being a sahm but it leaves you open to being in this position - meanwhile their dad earns 7 times what I do and can do what he wants.
I left myself vulnerable.

I'm sorry OP but you need some bloody tough love here. Get a grip! You're only 40! You're harping on like it's over. There's so much out there, look... your time with the kids wasn't wasted. You got to be at home with them during the time that passes so quickly. You sound full of resentment towards them, maybe there's more to this post. I'm going a degree with Open University to get myself onto another course. While I'm staying at home 18 months old and working on the weeks. I don't have an abundance of support. But I'm making it work. I'm 34. You need to give yourself a good talking too. Put your big girl pants on and look at some access course! see where they can take you. Can you do a top io degree. It's so sad you're holding yourself back. Show the kids that at 40 life isn't over.

Get a grip hun!!!!
I'm a single mum and loved staying at home with mine. I'm going to start work in January
Seriously......

Many others have said it but I would also recommend looking at NHS apprenticeships. Also getting an admin role in a large public sector employer like a hospital, university or council and then asking about career development opportunities can lead to all sorts of things. My partner is about the same age and had no job until 38, went in to an entry level admin role, and is now choosing between two or three interesting (paid) training options.

This might not be relevant, but if you did have teaching qualifications and experience then have a look at advertisements for ‘registered intermediaries’. If it’s of interest to you I think you might qualify and then that’s good on your CV for whatever else you want to do.

51 and back at Uni studying for my MA as a career change (part-time). I have had massive concerns about if this is the right thing to do at my age… but do you know, it is! I just wish I’d done it in my 40’s, but I didn’t! So be it! There are always options if you want there to be!

I'm 39, I have 4 children aged 16, 14, 5 & 3. I work part time. I've just started doing a distance learning honours degree in Criminology and Criminal Justice.
I haven't done a degree before so I have qualified for student loans for this. I study in the evenings after my younger 2 are in bed 3/4 nights away.

You are never to old to retrain. It doesn't have to be a degree. You could look at adult learning courses at college. You could look at courses on the skills network. There is always a way if you've got the drive and desire to do it.

Defo not too old. I'm 56 and on my 3rd career. Do some soul searching to figure out what you'd like to do and take steps towards it, even if these are gradual. Go for it and good luck!

Don't despair. I didn't start my nurse training until I was over 40, and it led to a great career. It's never too late. I can't help wondering if maybe life has thrown a few too many curve balls at you, and you're feeling a bit depressed?

I've just taken part in some shortlisting and we are interviewing a few people who didn't even meet all the essential criteria. What they did do, was write great applications showing a genuine interest in the role and how their experience could be used to deliver what is needed.

Take heart!

Too late? Gosh I did an access course at 42 and went to Uni at 49! No, it’s not too late. What about the OU? You can study at home and you have a nice long time to complete.

This is me. Look at civil service Jobs. Lots of decent positions with the opportunity to advance. I'm becoming.ing a HGV driver! It's never too late

My uncle retrained as a doctor at 40! Not too old OP. You can do this 💪🏻

Neighbour in late 30's went back to be a nurse, qualified at the age of 42. She said some were in their early 50s. It is one of the few areas with great need and demand right now. If you are also already qualified, how about teaching? even if you have to go back for 3 years you probably wont find it too difficult. Some careers wont work of course like city slicker jobs where they toss you out for having the temerity to turn 40 (as happened to myself)

OP, you’ve raised 2 children! This is a very meaningful achievement, and particularly so if you have done all or part of it single-handedly. I’m sure that you weren’t simply lucky to get the role you’re in but that you have more knowledge and skills than you give yourself credit for. Please don’t put yourself down like this. I hope it isn’t too much to say that perhaps your mental health is struggling a little? Have a look on sites like Tentotwo for more flexible or PT work. There will be something for you out there, don’t give up hope and remember to give yourself credit for the skills you have (including the many that will have been gained as a single mum!) x

It won't help you if you always see the negative side of things.
There's a scheme to get people back into teaching.
https://teaching-vacancies.campaign.gov.uk/return-to-teaching/#:~:text=Get%20back%20into%20teaching,your%20teaching%20career%20with%20them.

OP what would you want to do if you could choose? What are your skills, passions, interests? Thats where you need to start.

Definitely not too late! The gift you have given your kids is something I wish so much I myself could have had in my own childhood. I can't express enough how you have laid such solid ground for them by your choice/ ability to resource being home.

Now go find a great job with training opportunities. You absolutely have time

Never too old to start, I personally don’t think more education is the way forward. Are there any big companies local to you? Start at the bottom and work your way up.

I’m doing that, currently on my 3rd position at this company but on mat with #2 so will continue working up when they are both in school. It’s sort of how it works at our company, the promotions are generally internal then their original roles get recruited externally.

You don't have to meet all the requirements of the JD to apply and be considered. It's a wish list and they'll never get somebody with every skill and experience etc they list. Plus no harm in exaggerating and embellishing your CV to get a foot in the door. I did it myself when trying to go back to work after 14 years sahm which like you didn't benefit me or the children.

Retrain to be an audiologist- check places like specsavers, they take people on and send them part time to uni. That’s just one suggestion I know about, probably more options - you need to check things out instead of saying it’s too late. Good luck

The country is short of teachers and you are a qualified teacher.
Google "return to teaching"

You probably won’t read this, but there are so many things you could do! It’s not too late to retrain. Maybe consider working for yourself so you can fit your work around your family. I own a baby signing franchise and run baby classes. My sister has her own business doing venue styling for weddings etc. Just think about what you are interested in and would love to spend your time doing, and I’m sure there will be a way you could turn it into a business.