To be so disheartened? I’ve left it too late.

[Lostcause999]

I’m 40, 2dc, single mum.

Im in a basically minimum wage job that I was lucky to get given my lack of experience and poor skills.
I’m overqualified (academically) for some things but because I got those qualifications 20 years ago they’re irrelevant in anything that is above minimum wage. I stupidly stopped working when I had my oldest dc, went back briefly in between them and then unexpectedly fell pregnant with my second dc. And again - stupidly - had three years out and stayed home with her.
This has left me largely unemployable. I’ve no money or time to retrain so I’m stuck.
Im too old for a career now. I’m feeling really disheartened that I’ve wasted my life like this and will never have achieved anything worthwhile or interesting.

Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first reporting job at 23.
Stephen King was working as a janitor & living in a trailer when he was 24.
Harrison Ford was a carpenter when he was 30.
Vera Wang failed to make the Olympic figure-skating team. She didn’t get the Editor-in-Chief position at Vogue and designed her first dress at age 40.
Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 46.

I have retrained and am finally making something of myself now and almost there at 36. It’s not too late. And you are not unemployable either.

I would be sad, if mom felt that way about taking care of me and loving me in my first years. But yeah, she was young and left me with grandparents for long periods, so Im sad anyway.

Women tend not to apply for jobs unless they fit all the criteria, but most employers seem to include all sorts of requirements, even if not really needed.

Apply for some jobs that interest you, and in businesses that you are attracted to. Employers often look for the candidate who will fit into the team best and who show interest and the correct attributes and aptitudes.

It may be a good idea to speak to an agency and maybe do some temporary assignments to get experience and gain confidence.

Good luck.

Are you sad about your dad too?

I am not sad my mum was a teacher and still took care of me. I am not sad she needed more. I am not sad my dad also had a career.

I am in a similar situation. Good but old degree and ten years in a dead end, remote job which was convenient to be a full time parent but really not a great stepping stone to anything better
Months ago they made me redundant, and I am not surprised that my CV is getting me nowhere.

It's tough, particularly if you do not have lots of money and time to requalify.
But you can do it, I think.

It is hard to suggest anything specific, without knowing what kind of jobs you would ideally want.

In general terms, there are plenty of good courses out there which do not cost the earth. Things like Coursera and edx, must courses are from reputable universities and can be taken paying a flat monthly fee if 50 pounds or so.
In six months or less you could take a specialisation at 15 hours per week.

But you need to research well before committing, if you want results relatively fast.

There are also lots of free bootcamp a from the government. They are a minefield though, and you are only allowed to take one per year.
Essentially, the government is throwing hundred millions into funding them, to look like they are doing something. The idea is great but in truth there is no real vetting of training providers, or performance assessment.

Recently I have taken a the months course with something called netcom, which is subsidiary of apprentify. It was a joke, the tutor barely knew what she was supposed to teach, support to get you a job after was perfunctionary, and I am regretting burning my yearly chance for that. They got several hundred thousands pounds for that, really scandalous...

My partner is taking another funded course, with edx, and it is just they opposite. Really serious they have you work hard, the result is a good portfolio in line with what the business wants.

So, essentially, there are free courses but it is hard to find out which are worth your time. In my limited knowledge, anything Edx should be good. Anything netcom and apprentify, avoid.

Try and visit some job fairs. Quality is variable, but you find recruitment agencies and potential employers under the same roof. It can be a good way to discover about job opportunities you were not aware of, and to describe yourself and your qualifications, and ask what they would want on top of that to hire you. Then you can decide if it is feasible for you to get there, and how.

One way to think about it is, if I know what job I want, what is the kind of person who could get it relatively easily?
And then figure out how you could acquire skills to be that kind of person.

It's tough, but probably you can do it. It just feels overwhelming initially.

Good luck!

I really want to give you a big hug. You sound so down and defeated.
Job hunting is so so bloody difficult, even when you have all the relevant experience.

Do you have any friends who could help with your cv?

Speak to agencies as well - they will be able to match you with the job that relates to your experience and qualifications.

You have definitely not left it too late. I worked retail whilst my children were young and my husband trained as teacher (qualified in his 40’s). 3 years ago, at 45, I decided to get a job as an HCA and now, at 48, I’ve just started training as a Nursing Associate with my local hospital after working as a HCA for two years, and there are people on the course older than I am, so it’s not too late.
It all depends on what you would like to do in the future and how old your children are, but there are many routes to retrain if that’s what you want.
Do not give up hope, it won’t be quite as easy as when you were younger, but can be done.

No time to read full thread, but Radiography apprenticeships in my area, East mids, get paid while you train with time off for study. Encourage older applicants as they tend to stick around. Eventually can lead to qualified Radiographer, not fab pay, but we do ok. Loads of NHS opportunities.

What’s the worse that can happen applying for a job? They say no. You’re in a great position that you already have a job so the sector is your oyster.
It’s all about how you word your CV and really expand on your experiences throughout life.
Apply for the jobs!

Lots of people in social work train in their 30’s and 40’s, it’s preferred as you actually have some life experience. Lots of options to train on the job too so you get paid whilst studying or at least get significant bursaries. Not sure what part of the country you are in but in London there is the Thinkahead programme. I’m sure there are others too.

Also, teaching is such a sought after progression. If you’ve been out of the job for a while I’m sure you could do a fast track retrain and go in at entry level if you still wanted to be in this area.

There are so many options, and 40 is not old at all! Perhaps speak to a career advisor, but more importantly figure out what you want to do. As someone else said, you’ll have another 30 years of working, you can absolutely make it fulfilling.

good luck!

https://thinkahead.org/how-the-programme-works/#how-you-will-be-paid

You sound like you could be depressed- a feeling of hopelessness is a sign. Waiting lists for huge for counselling but it sounds like mainly you need some confidence building which you might be able to get elsewhere. I don’t know too much about it but your local colleges/job centre plus/possibly mind or your doctor could maybe point you in the right direction. I know women not much younger than you that have become teachers, nurses, social workers- and they didn’t really have the good basic education that you have. Apprenticeships aren’t just young ppl anymore if there’s something you’d really like to do. As others have said you have another 25 plus years of working. You could also do some voluntary work and this should help your confidence. Good luck x

You could get some tutoring work at times to suit, volunteer at your kids' school to feel more current, then sign up to a supply teacher agency. Then apply for teaching jobs. Good luck!

Why don't you join a supply agency to get your foot back in the door in schools? TA/teacher work? You'll soon have up to date experience and references.

You have achieved amazing things, rasing your children . Work is just something you do to earn money .