To be so disheartened? I’ve left it too late.

[Lostcause999]

I’m 40, 2dc, single mum.

Im in a basically minimum wage job that I was lucky to get given my lack of experience and poor skills.
I’m overqualified (academically) for some things but because I got those qualifications 20 years ago they’re irrelevant in anything that is above minimum wage. I stupidly stopped working when I had my oldest dc, went back briefly in between them and then unexpectedly fell pregnant with my second dc. And again - stupidly - had three years out and stayed home with her.
This has left me largely unemployable. I’ve no money or time to retrain so I’m stuck.
Im too old for a career now. I’m feeling really disheartened that I’ve wasted my life like this and will never have achieved anything worthwhile or interesting.

I'm not an expert but I imagine you could definitely do some supply teaching work- maybe after some volunteering to get something related on your CV again? If that's something you might like to do. Then you could go for a job with more hours in it if you wanted after a bit.

Or retrain in something for sure if you can somehow fund it. Lots of people do.

DH did a degree at 39 after years as a merchant seaman, and is retiring next year as a director responsible for European manufacture of a product everyone will have heard of. It's never too late.

You have 27 years of working life left possibly more if pension age increases, get some extra skills pick wisely and go for it!!

I went to uni at 49. Single mum with one of the children autistic so their carer for years. 5years post qualified and now senior and specialist in my role.

One of the women I commuted with had 7 children and a useless husband, youngest was 5.

I started a new career at 42 in childcare. A low paying career and I only work PT but it's by far the most fulfilled I've ever felt. I considered the change at around 35 and thought I was too old then! I had young kids so didn't action it until I was around 40. My pal now 47 has just qualified as a teacher, she was 43 when she initially considered it as a career. It's doable for sure OP and worth it.

Oh OP, I hear you. I’m in a similar position as you, only a few years older. Ive been self-employed for a while and also doing a MSc to give myself a recent qualification.
I’ve applied for three interviews in the charity sector and been ‘pipped to the post’ by people with more experience. I’ve tried for DWP and passed situational tests, but it seems to have ground to a halt. I don’t seem qualified for anything offered by the Civil Service.
It seems like all roles are just ‘out of reach’ and when I’ve tried, I’ve failed despite doing well in interviews.
It’s soul-crushing and I hate regretting my life choices. I’m happy that I got to stay at home with the DCs, but I hadn’t appreciated how hard it would be to get a career back.

LOVE hearing this. Good on you!

I didn't start my second degree until I was 45. I now do my dream job and am self employed. I was also a SAHM and while I think that some people can manage it all it depends on things like the job they do, the support they have, their energy levels etc. I couldn't have done it as I didn't have the support, I had a long commute, couldn't have afforded expensive childcare etc. So the best thing for my family was for me to be a SAHM. My mother worked and was exhausted and resentful which perhaps influenced my decision.

I'm planning to work part-time until I'm 70 at least.

Why not get some counselling or coaching to boost your self esteem and change your current negative mindset. You can feel a bit defeatist if you haven't worked for a long time but this can change once you start to take action and rebuild your confidence.

Good luck OP.

Have you thought of working in the beauty industry? I'm not saying it's easy, but courses are affordable and it's something you'd be able to build up alongside your current job. And can be profitable.

You're 40, not moribund...🤦🏼‍♀️

There is a mindset element here that is important. I think there is evidence that if a job specifies 10 requirements women will only apply if they meet all 10. However men will typically apply if they meet 1 or 2 of the criteria.
You're a graduate and have had a graduate job, you are currently employed in a management role. You're definitely employable and will have transferable skills. It's really a question of presenting them in the best way you can to fit the role.
Charity roles can be competitive so you might need to consider a different sector first to build up your CV

Get back into teaching. If the only reason you left was your children (not hating the job) then get applying! Your qualification is still valid. There will have been changes, you could say that about anything but a good school would provide training/updates and you can brush up on the curriculum for the age group you teach.

you sound tired and worn down.

set some goals, for example

return to teaching (then list all the pros, like school hols off with your kids. Salary increase, holiday increase etc)

become subject specialist/SENCO or any other specialism that might interest you or be needed.

plan a future for yourself and use some of this spare money to spoil yourself.

in regard to your children not having benefitted from a SAHM, they may not be academically further forward but you were there for every milestone and you have had time with them you will never get back

I fell into HR at 40. Admittedly I had always worked - but not in HR. It’s an area you can get into as an assistant, so you don’t need much experience, and work your way up, and decent companies will pay for your training, although in this field it’s not alway essential; experience counts for just as much. I’m still not qualified but head up an HR function and earn a good wage.

Sky are running a get into tech scheme aimed entirely at women if you wanted to try something different.

You don't need to be geeky or really into computers and there are so many different IT careers once you're through the door

Applications close next week: https://getintotech.sky.com/

Could you be a part time teacher at an independent school? Or if in a state school I think you could be open about needing some retraining to get up to date perhaps having a mentor or doing a term as a TA first before you get your own class? Or work in a nursery? Private nurseries love to say they have qualified teacher on staff.

Tutoring would also be great income (although a bit anti social with your own kids)

You could also train to be eg a specialist literacy teacher and then you could do literacy assessments and tutoring - huge market for that

I could have written your post. I had 13 years out of teaching after having children. I also had a degree, teaching qualification and six years classroom experience. I thought I had wasted my chance. I gave now been back in teaching for seven years. I arranged some voluntary teaching experience as a way back in and this led to a job offer. Are you interested in teaching again because you could definitely Get back into teaching if you wanted. You have a lot of time ahead of you- think about what you want and go for it xx

I trained in fitness in my 30s. It wasn't for me in the end but it was interesting and I learned a lot.

Also have you looked at degree apprenticeships. Many are well paid and lead o to very well paid careers!

You seem really negative on yourself OP. Leading a team of 7 is more than many people have done. As is several years teaching experience.

I'd figure out what you want, and start working towards it. And don't be put off by not having every part of the job spec, write an enthusiastic cover letter to sell your unique experience to them.

Look at allied health professions, previous study is ignored in eyes of student finance so you'll get full maintenance loan plus 7k nhs bursary. You'd be entitled to universal credit too being a single parent. You'll get holidays off with the kids for 3 years and then a decent career at the end.

I don't think you wasted years raising your children. You got to enjoy them while they were little and while you were there everything. They are only little for such a short time. Treasure those memories, as they will soon be teenagers, spending less and less time with you. Of course you can retrain into a new role, if your planning to retire 60/ 65 you still have 20 more working years. Plenty time to get to a senior role, I work in an accountancy firm, seen lots of people come and join as a junior in later life and sit proffesional exams etc.

No way are you too old. I did my training to be zn NHS podiatrist at 43 (degree). I'm now on a high wage and I'm allowed to work until 70 in the NHS and as long as I can privately and I'm doing great at 62 years old. I've just bought a new car and have no money worries. I also have an NzhS pension.
You are in the prime of your life.
Someone on my course started at 60 and still earns a successful private practice.

Teaching is the perfect occupatiohn for upgrading and retraining. Start and you will finish up well qualified and working in a place that you love.

Many international jobs can be found in teaching too. You can be travelling the World in three years..

Sorry if someone's already said it, but as a qualified teacher you could do agency supply to regain experience. Take anything and everything offered.