To shout "GO!" to your wife at roundabouts?

[Yomuma]

Okay so maybe this isn't exactly earth shattering in importance but interested to get opinions!

DH is a very confident driver. He does a lot of miles with work, he loves driving, he is really top notch in that department, I don't deny.

I am what I would call a safe driver, and what he calls slow. And whilst being very competent behind the wheel is one of his strengths, being patient in the passenger seat isn't.

Recently this has resulted in him, when I pull up to a roundabout, shouting to me "GO! GO!"

This has two effects. One, my brain goes "aaah go stop go stop what am I doing!!!" and second, I get an overwhelming urge to rip off the steering wheel and hit him over the head with it.

Now, he says - well, if there is a space you need to go, so just listen to me!! And hurry up!?

I say - ahhhh shut up you bossy bossy boots!!

AIBU in my reaction?

It would be the last time I drove him anywhere. I just could not be doing with that. And IME people who are ever such confident drivers are usually very over-confident, break speed limits, tailgate and generally drive like cunts. I am a good driver. I am have excellent judgement of speed and distance. Anyway shouting 'Go!' at me would only do this once.

BRAKES. JFC.

Oh pipe the fuck down.

What he’s doing is not only incredibly unreasonable and rude, it’s also incredibly dangerous. It’s only going to put any driver off (unless perhaps you’re trained in emergency driving or battle situations to ignore such things) - that should he obviously.

I also would refuse to drive him anywhere again

Being shouted at to go at junctions made my friend a nervous driver

Even though he is now her ex and she's been through the Freedom Programme she has never really regained her old confidence in driving.

Ironically of course she's never had so much as a near miss and he's a walking accident waiting to happen that other drivers have to work around.

She used to do a lot of the driving precisely because it was safer if she did. And because of his drinking.

Tell him that his shouting just makes you more nervous, so he should not do it. Or he can get out and walk home!

I would be pulling over at the first safe place and refusing to move until he left the vehicle, and ket him make his own way. What an utter and absolute cock.

I would also refuse to be a passenger to him as he is clearly unsafe, nor consent to my children being driven by him. He is not a suitable person to be in control of a vehicle.

I absolutely refuse to drive DH unless an extreme emergency. He’s a driving instructor and cannot keep his mouth shut when I’m driving. I’ve been driving without incident for many years.
The final straw was when he kept on and on in rush hour. I stopped in the middle of the road, got out and caught the bus home.

I asked if he wanted to drive. He said yes and got out of car. I locked the doors and said he should go and get his own car then. It was about 200 miles away so I relented and he refrained from issuing driving instructions forever more 😀

Why don’t you just let him drive? My husband always drives because I’m not as good a driver which is fine by me. If there’s a gap to go at the round about though I think that’s annoying if your spending too much time thinking about it, you say safe but if your too hesitant then that’s not safe at all. I’d leave the driving to him when your out together if it’s causing so much stress. I don’t think he’s in the wrong for telling you to go though, although the mums net divorce the bastard brigade are out in force, it’s all a bit over the top.

Just say “I’ll be the judge of that” every time he says it.

Pop on the handbrake and hazards. Cross your arms and say

If you want me to drive keep your mother shut or get out now and don't expect to get in again.

Doesn't matter if you're sat at that roundabout, if he's technically causing you I'll judgement when in charge of a car, it's not safe for you to drive

Having just failed my test for not pulling out at a roundabout at the first opportunity it's called holding up the flow of traffic - I'd say you're not a confident driver. Or at the very least not confident when your husband is a passenger.

I’d have definitely said something much more colourful than you did. My DH only contributes to how I should drive at busy junctions when it’s really busy and he’s letting me know the gap in one direction whilst I look in the other. He’d never shout at me to go.

I also hate the passengers, who, when I am driving out ot a side road, poke their heads forwards to look left blocking my view, and say 'clear this side' I usually reply, 'fuck off you twat and get your head out of the way!'

Stop, tell him he can get out and walk or STFU.

Me and my husband disagree on this too. This is why he does all the driving when we are together. As I can relax as a passenger and he cannot! Maybe try that too.

My children's father used to do this to me, until I banned him from my car. I divorced him for similar 'crimes' that accumulated over the years .

I am a really anxious passenger but I would never ever shout at the driver to go.

I would probably want to kill him. And I don't even drive.

My ex doesn’t drive, but he is very good with directions so I don’t mind him being my sat nav at times. However we were once in the middle of nowhere on a 60mph road when he suddenly shouted ‘RIGHT, GO RIGHT NOW’ out of the blue, I panicked and hit the breaks almost causing a car behind to crash into me. I was furious (though not as furious as the car behind I’m sure). I stick to my actual sat nav these days…

You can tell who's a driver and who isn't. I always flatten myself against the seat so the driver can see.

If he can’t stop backseat driving then he can sit in the back. Use your own judgement.

my dad is banned from being a passenger in my car. Only happened once & I was a bag of nerves as he’s a very impatient driver.

Even if you were a terrible driver, which I’m sure you’re not, you make the decisions because you have the best view and are in control of the car. My OH does this to me and I’ve been driving for 25 years longer than him. His best one is to tell me to put the windscreen wipers on because I can’t see. Which obviously I can or I would have.