To shout "GO!" to your wife at roundabouts?

[Yomuma]

Okay so maybe this isn't exactly earth shattering in importance but interested to get opinions!

DH is a very confident driver. He does a lot of miles with work, he loves driving, he is really top notch in that department, I don't deny.

I am what I would call a safe driver, and what he calls slow. And whilst being very competent behind the wheel is one of his strengths, being patient in the passenger seat isn't.

Recently this has resulted in him, when I pull up to a roundabout, shouting to me "GO! GO!"

This has two effects. One, my brain goes "aaah go stop go stop what am I doing!!!" and second, I get an overwhelming urge to rip off the steering wheel and hit him over the head with it.

Now, he says - well, if there is a space you need to go, so just listen to me!! And hurry up!?

I say - ahhhh shut up you bossy bossy boots!!

AIBU in my reaction?

Oh this is fabulous 😆

I voted YABU for not having put him under the patio already.

The driver decides when to go. However you need to think hard about his input: is it valid? You call yourself "safe" but there's a fine line between safe and weak. A lot of weak drivers consider themselves "safe" because they only go when there is a huge gap. This is poor driving - a safe driver goes when they can go safely, not safely by a huge margin. Being over-cautious is fair enough for a brand new driver, but once you've got reasonable experience you should be confident enough to go for a gap that's safe but without much margin. Otherwise it causes frustration, and as the Scots say, frustration causes accidents.

My partner doesn't drive and has started giving me 'helpful advice' while I'm driving...'oh, you can get around that cyclist' etc etc

Obviously you're not unreasonable, you're driving and therefore you decide when to stop and when to go and he needs to not shout at you or otherwise distract you as it's potentially dangerous. But... god I hate drivers who dawdle and dither, whether following them or sat next to them! So I do have sympathy for him, it is hugely frustrating to be in his position. Could he not just drive if you're together? Better for your relationship AND other road users!

My sister does it too. To me and to her husband.

Ignore him. As a newly passed driver my ex did this to me, I trusted his judgement as he was a much more experienced driver.

However he had misread the signals, not checked properly and I nearly was in a crash thanks to his input.

I'd very calmly pull over in the next available lay by, look at him and point at the door and shout "GO GO GO!"

He's distracting you when you need to be concentrating.

I remember my ex husband's feet going (clutch and brakes, presumably) when l was driving and approaching a junction. He did it all the time.
I told him if he wasn't happy about my driving (never had an accident besides when someone else drove into me on a roundabout) he could either drive, walk, or get the bus.
It's distracting and rude.

My husband used to do things like this (he would also lean over and turn the lights on, flip the indicator off and other annoying things).

I’m divorced 😄

I have had a clean driving licence for 40 years. I am perfectly competent and confident. My husband is an extremely good driver but a poor passenger and turns me into an incompetent dithering idiot behind the wheel. On the rare occasions I drive him I have to firmly remind him that I have managed all these years to get safely from A to B without a major incident or his help.

When I passed I hated having husband who drives tons as a passenger. It got to the point where I told him to shut his fucking yap, he was distracting me and can get out and fucking walk. Then I refused to have him as a passenger at all. I've been passed 6 years now, I'm a safe competent driver and recently have been trialing him. He's trying very hard after a few years being the driver...

You need to refuse to drive. He can do it until he shuts up. What he's doing is dangerous.

It's really dangerous of him to do that OP.

Not long after I passed my driving test, my then DP did something similar. Another time he grabbed the steering wheel. I just stopped having him as a passenger in the car. If we both had to go somewhere, he had to do all the driving, and we kept it like that until he learned to behave himself. It took a while but he got there.

Or if you really do need to drive him, make him sit in the back so he can't see out properly.

Your marriage sounds like the exact opposite of mine I'm the confident let's get going and stop fking about driver (and do 95% of the driving when we go out at a family) and must admit I HATE drivers who sit at roundabouts/junctions in a car and let gaps big enough for double decker buses go by without pulling away and I do quite happily shout and swear at them and demand that if they are so hesitant then they shouldn't have a license so I am Firmly with your husband on this one... but only in my mind, I would never shout at my husband to pull out when he is driving as it causes panic and that's when accidents happen.

No way. That is probably what he wants.

Because she's not a fragile Victorian lady who gets the vapours when completing simple everyday tasks?

Criticism of someone else's driving by a poster who has been deemed legally unfit to drive 👏

hahaha...love the idea of following him round the house and telling him to 'go go go' when he's moving between rooms 😂

but joking aside, your DH is a danger to have as a passenger. He shouldn't be telling you when to drive, let alone shout at you and you need to have a serious word in his earhole. I have had this previously from an ex...as soon as it was safe to pull over, I did and told him to get out.

Take the key out and throw it as far as you can! (Make sure you have the second set handy when he's learned his lesson) please, please do it. (Or chuck a old random key lookalike) and watch him wet himself!!!

Yes I was deemed legally unfit to drive because I did something (once whilst nervous on my test) that the OP is doing daily therefore she's unsafe to drive! If you're not confident at anything on the road then you're unsafe, surely you understand that?

Haha, I feel your pain.

’Breaks’ it’s fucking ‘brakes’!

The OP never said she wasn't able to drive well @BoredPangolin

Are you in the car with the OP every day to know with such certainty that she is driving unsafely and therefore the one in the wrong? Are you that much of an expert, as a learner driver, that you can tell from a single post?

Pull the car over, stop and tell him to get out. No one shouts at me when I am driving.