To shout "GO!" to your wife at roundabouts?

[Yomuma]

Okay so maybe this isn't exactly earth shattering in importance but interested to get opinions!

DH is a very confident driver. He does a lot of miles with work, he loves driving, he is really top notch in that department, I don't deny.

I am what I would call a safe driver, and what he calls slow. And whilst being very competent behind the wheel is one of his strengths, being patient in the passenger seat isn't.

Recently this has resulted in him, when I pull up to a roundabout, shouting to me "GO! GO!"

This has two effects. One, my brain goes "aaah go stop go stop what am I doing!!!" and second, I get an overwhelming urge to rip off the steering wheel and hit him over the head with it.

Now, he says - well, if there is a space you need to go, so just listen to me!! And hurry up!?

I say - ahhhh shut up you bossy bossy boots!!

AIBU in my reaction?

He's not a safe driver if he thinks any driver needs to leave it to the passenger to make decisions.

^This with the tiny caveat that one woman I got a lift with always comes to a complete halt at any roundabout, junction etc, without fail and regardless of prevailing traffic etc. That did get wearing after a bit although obviously being polite I didn't say anything - not even when she was trundling along in lane 2 of a 2 lane (each way) dual carriageway at 40mph being flashed by the people behind to move over and studiously ignoring them, baffled at it.

I think that's a very restrained response from you. Are you married to GregG Wallace? Sounds like his work.

I do sometimes criticise my DH driving but only cos he's trying to do 90 on the motorway and I want him to slow down & not kill us all. His driving makes me feel car sick & other friends have also said they think he drives too fast. I much prefer driving without him in the car but I'm lazy so if we're both in the car he's usually driving and I'm snoozing 🤣 I'll admit I do criticise the driving of other motorists on the road - but they can't hear me so that's okay I think. & if they pull out dangerously in front of me I will happily hoot them. I don't mind a roundabout- I'm pretty good at slotting into the smallest gaps in a safe way. It's definitely a skill not everyone has though. Not surprised you are cross though OP - your DH needs to shut the hell up & let you concentrate on driving safely.

Yeah... i do this I can't help it. I love driving but DH sees it as a chore. As a result I call it "my car" not "our car" 😅. YANBU to be annoyed though. good to see it from both sides.

@Yomuma

^*This has two effects. One, my brain goes "aaah go stop go stop what am I doing!!!" and second, I get an overwhelming urge to rip off the steering wheel and hit him over the head with it.
*^
So he's either making you feel panicked/unsafe or want to kill him. If you go for the latter I believe there are numerous MNers who'd give you an alibi and also help hide the body. 🌹

What do you mean 'you can't help it'?

I'd have thought it was easier to control one's mouth than a car. I'd be a bit worried about people driving if don't even have sufficient self control to be able to restrain themselves from shouting at a driver who's a tad more cautious than they are.

This is exactly why I will not drive my husband anywhere

@qwertyuiopasdfgh I bet you can help it, if you're a passenger in someone else's car. Friends, colleagues, other family members? Bet you manage to restrain yourself then.

It's absolute shitbaggery, get yourself together.

Both unreasonable. He is not driving so should butt out, but you are holding up the flow of traffic at the roundabout if you are stopping when there is room for you to pull out.

Both unreasonable. He is not driving so should butt out, but you are holding up the flow of traffic at the roundabout if you are stopping when there is room for you to pull out.

Impossible to say though. What constitutes enough room to pull out? If he's a bit of an (over-) assertive driver, he might be seeing room where there isn't really. Other drivers night be cursing him every time he squeezes out in front of them. Or if the OP is over-cautious, she might be seeing no room where there is room.

No, I'm a serious (seriel?) control freak. I do it to myself, it's tiring. Everything has to be "just so". I realise it's not great for those around me! And yes I'm a great driver (can parallel park the crap out of a tiny space)
Are you saying you don't have any annoying habits that drive others crazy?

Who cares if you're a great driver? You're a horrible passenger.

Never said i wasn't

The passenger does not have all of the information available and it's dangerous for someone else to try to pressure you into going when you're not ready. He's being a dick.

Well as long as you are happy @qwertyuiopasdfgh

This. Or they get out and walk

My husband in my opinion dithers at roundabouts as his anticipation skills aren’t great. But l have the sense to let him get on with as lm not the one driving at the time -we take it in turns to drive

Not sure why you're putting words in my mouth? Everyone's very quick to judge /wanting to be offended around here. Hope you have a nice day!

I don't know if it's judgey to find it weird that you literally shout at your family and friends in cars and are like 'yeah and I'm good with it'.

It's weird!

Again, that is not something i said. Arghh Internet. Obvs is not great. Sometimes they're things you just need to admit to yourself. I was trying to explain why someone would do it. Tell me who's perfect? Advice to OP- just make him drive (say on a reallllly long road trip) until he's so knackered he really appreciates your driving, practically grovelling. And tell him ok but he's not allowed to say anything. Another one to try is go boating together where you need 2 people to steer. You'll find you need decent team work pretty quick(after the initial screaming at each other has died down)!

Driving isn't a team effort 😆😆

Perfect 😂

Probably an arrogant male driver exactly like the ones being discussed.

Because the male passenger said so. Because driving skills are located in the penis.

Gods, all these fucking impatient passengers. I bet they're not nearly the good, confident drivers they fancy themselves, but the sort of idiots who endanger others by pulling out when there isn't enough of a gap and forcing oncoming drivers to slam on their brakes.