To shout "GO!" to your wife at roundabouts?

[Yomuma]

Okay so maybe this isn't exactly earth shattering in importance but interested to get opinions!

DH is a very confident driver. He does a lot of miles with work, he loves driving, he is really top notch in that department, I don't deny.

I am what I would call a safe driver, and what he calls slow. And whilst being very competent behind the wheel is one of his strengths, being patient in the passenger seat isn't.

Recently this has resulted in him, when I pull up to a roundabout, shouting to me "GO! GO!"

This has two effects. One, my brain goes "aaah go stop go stop what am I doing!!!" and second, I get an overwhelming urge to rip off the steering wheel and hit him over the head with it.

Now, he says - well, if there is a space you need to go, so just listen to me!! And hurry up!?

I say - ahhhh shut up you bossy bossy boots!!

AIBU in my reaction?

Let him drive when you're out together.

My DH used to constantly criticise my driving. He doesn't any more because I refuse to drive him anywhere.

This exactly.

I hate overtaking slower cars and avoid it as much as possible. This annoys me DH and he says things like 'ffs, you have to go around him, we'll be here all day blah blah blah'

I just tell him that I'm only going to drive in a way that feels safe to me, and would he rather I drive safely or not at all?

That shuts him up

To be fair OP hasn’t said they’re a dithery driver so those people saying she is seem to be projecting.

Also, as annoying as it is to be sitting next to actual dithery drivers, it’s possible to do that without being a dick.

you should not stop at a roundabout unless you have someone crossing your path. You should be looking right at the oncoming traffic as you approach the roundabout and if safe to do so, you keep going. There is NO need to stop and then assess if you can go. This is a pet peeve of mine. Most drivers in the UK do it and it causes massive tail backs.

Can we please add to this the caveat that you need to look forward before moving off to make sure any traffic in front of you has moved off? Don't see what you consider to be a gap and drive forward into the back of the car in front, which perhaps doesn't accelerate as fast as yours/is driven by a newly qualified driver/other reason for not being quite as fast as you at moving off

He shouldn't be shouting, but the drivers you're possibly holding up will be annoyed too. He does need to shut up, though. It won't change anything.

I’ve adapted a phrase I picked up from previous posts here:
I just say “no steering wheel… no opinion”

If I'm driving then it's up to me to decide that any gap is safe. I'm not a fan of ditherers either, I don't think anyone is. But some imbecile shouting at you isn't going to help anyone.

I've had two non fault accidents at roundabouts with idiots deciding there was enough space when there quite clearly wasn't.

My son does the same to me.

Of course his excuse is being two years old.

I don't know what your husband's excuse is.

You're driving, it's your decision and your responsibility. Shouting at you makes you stressed out and confused, which could lead to a dangerous situation (unless it's my toddler doing it, in which case I'm fine).

Yes. He couldn't possibly have poor judgement. The OP must be a bad driver because the passenger has said so.

I went out twice with the ex when I was taking lessons. On the second time, he insisted that I went through the nastiest, six way junction in the pissing rain with the windows wound up because 'you need to be able to drive with the windows steamed up'. And he shouted at me.

I navigated around the system, silently turned left when he was shouting at me to 'GO ON GO ON GO ON', pulled over and parked perfectly, switched off, got out of the car and walked to the bus stop. With the keys to the car and the house in my pocket.

3 mile walk home for him, that was.

Is that really what you say?!!!?

It sounds like you're a hesitant driver rather than a "safe" driver. Hesitant drivers cause a lot more accident than confident drivers. It would be worth you booking onto a driving course to help you improve your driving ability.

Your husband's behaviour toward you isn't ok, but saying that, I'm also the driver in the car behind you shouting "GO GO GO FFS".

I would flat out refuse to drive with him

I was to slow today for a couple of cars who flashed me out of their way on an A road

I just moved to the left lane to let them go by then moved back out again once I wanted to overtake someone else

This doesn't upset me because I did slow down a bit so shouldn't have been in the fast lane at that moment and should have already moved into the slow left lane

That's how the lanes should work. I just sort of was driving in a trance so didn't realise I should have moved left.

We have no idea whether the OP is a good driver or a bad one. What we do know is that her husband is a dick. No passenger ever has a right to shout GO GO at the driver. The driver has to stay within their own competency.

But she may be a perfectly good driver but just not a fast one - and that is completely fine. I don't know why you trust his judgement over hers

I would respond by turning off the engine.

That would drive me nuts.

We will be your alibi if you like.

I'd literally pull over as soon as I cleared the roundabout and refuse to drive him any further until he apologises or gets the fuck out of the car.

Confident or over confident?
He should shut up

My ex used to do this to me. Also getting angry because I queued up instead of pushing in. I'm glad that I'm never in the same car as him any more

YADNBU Backseat drivers are the worst. Wouldn't be putting up with this. Life's too short.

He’s not a good driver, otherwise he wouldn’t be telling you to advance when you’re behind the wheel. He’d know that the decision to pull out is the drivers. Next time this happens pull over when safe to do so, turn off the ignition, turn to him and tell him that he’s not behind the wheel, you are and if he’s not happy about your driving skill then the bus stop is over there. If he gets a shift on he might just catch it.
Worked for me.

LTB...at home!! 😀

Boot him out the car.