If you are autistic do people often not answer the question you are asking but give a more generalised answer?

[Hotandsunny]

Just a thought that came to mind. I often find when I ask people questions about something very specific they don't seem to get it and just give you a general answer. I don't know what it is. But I have oftenish been in a situation where people just don't seem to understand what you are asking. So I was wondering if it was an autistic thing.

The example from today was I was doing a school appeal and the school had sent a list of rooms and room sizes as evidence that the school was full. I tried to question the school about what the different rooms were used for, about class sizes and what rooms the 6th form used. All the deputy head could do was repeat that Y7 was full.

I say you haven't answered my question and ask again and get the same reply. A member of the panel says to me I just don't like the reply I'm getting. I don't, because it doesn't answer my question.

This isn't an isolated incident by a long shot.

But that's the point of the appeal. They present their case then they get questioned on it. I find it strange that people think that's ok. To just refuse to engage in a process like that? Are they allowed to just opt out?

The school started it by sending a list of rooms and class sizes to justify why they were full... Your example isn't right, it should be more like saying "I can't give you a lift as my car is full because I have a load of long planks in the passenger seat" and the other person then says "is there still space in the back" and the first person just replies "I haven't got space for you" instead of directly answering the question. The reason they are evading the question is that they don't want to give you a lift!

I find it often happens when people are defensive and trying to pre empt criticism... Or sometimes they just aren't listening .

So it was a tactic? They'd waste the question time allowed by avoiding answering questions so they didn't get to be scrutinized?

They don't' have to answer your question. it's not a legal requirement.

Having said that, I don't think autism has anything to do with it. It happens A LOT. I think some people just love to hear themselves speak.

I usually say “I need a number” 😂

Yes

It was probably foolish of them to make the argument based on room size. But then the 6th form wouldn't normally be used for year 7 classes. As others say, working out school timetables, suitable rooms and teachers is complex, knowing there are some free rooms available might not actually make much difference.

Hi OP, I have an autistic child and this sounds quite familiar to me but from the other side. He often gets frustrated with me because I have not answered his questions.

From my perspective, he asks a lot of questions about very specific details, which I don't always have the energy or headspace to answer and which to me seem irrelevant to the situation.

When he pushes it, it feels as if he is trying to corner me or get me to slip up on some detail so he can prove a point. However, he maintains that he just likes to/needs to know information so that he understands.

This happens to everyone . It's not so autistic thing . It's that some people are very vague in their answers or don't understand what we are asking them.It is frustrating though and it pushes me to the brink of an actual meltdown sometimes and I feel aggressive and need to ask repeatedly for assurance . I am not autistic.

Your child sounds like me even though I'm not autistic . I need a lot of reassurance and to feel in control . I've no desire to trip people up. It may be because I have OCD and come from a severe trauma background .

Yes, I ask a very precise question because I want a precise answer. If I wanted the answer you are giving me I would have asked that question! I did keep asking my question and trying to explain it in different ways. But as a previous poster said people seem to imagine in their head you're asking something different and they answer that. Then they get fed up and claim they have answered you multiple times. When they have only answered their imaginary question.

I do this and I try to catch myself when I do. I suspect I'm Asperger's and ADHD. When I'm the one asking the question I expect to be answered specifically. I just have trouble answering myself, something about processing the information and responding is difficult for me, especially if it's verbal. If it's written I can agonize and overthink my answer and how it's worded, etc.

No. It’s because it’s not practical to change the layout of the school to allow one child to join a year group that is full. They aren’t answering the question because it isn’t relevant.

A lot of people also struggle with reading comprehension (as seen from this site and even this thread, the number of people saying that room sizes are not relevant to your situation when it clearly states in the OP that this is the exact reason the school has provided for being unable to meet your request). That could explain written questions not being answered.

I agree with the asking of the question and understand why you wanted the answer as it was your way in. I would also be massively frustrated by this as I it seems so black and white, I ask a question and they are not answering it at all and really just causing more confusion.

I don't think the handling of the situation was inclusive for you or for anyone who maybe neurodiverse. I have ADHD and I would become very infuriated by the this and how I was not able to represent my case because they clearly refused to answer the question in any meaningful way or without adding confusion into the situation.

It doesn't matter if they think it's an irrelevant question, they should have stated this rather than just repeating the same answer.

But I'm talking about situations like today. Where there is an expectation that an answer is given. Or like at formal meeting at my son's college. The point being to get my queries answered. Why do people put themselves in these situations if they don't want to answer questions?

Yes my ADHD child can be like this. It can be quite exhausting sometimes and it can feel like a lot of demands are being made of me and that I don’t get a break.

Yes, I ask a very precise question because I want a precise answer.

The thing is, people don't have to communicate on your terms. You could ask a thousand questions about room size, and they could waste a lot of time answering questions that will have no bearing on the outcome, or they can fob you off rather than get into that cycle.

It's why I don't tolerate it or entertain it when people start rambling in response.

The question was not an invitation to begin a broader conversation, as it didn't ask something subjective. If I want to instigate a conversation I can ask something along the lines of "what do you think about xxx?"

The question "What time is/are we?" only has one relevant answer, i.e. a time of the day, and anything else is irrelevant waffle that I'm neither interested in or willing to sit through. Just respond to the direct question with an appropriate, relevant answer. That's all I want. What is so bloody difficult?

This doesn't seem like the same thing I'm talking about, tbh.

You believe your question is deserving of an answer. They do not. In some cases you may be right and in other cases they may be.

But rooming isn’t the reason you can’t have more in Y7 surely? If it’s full it’ll mean the x number of classes in the year all have the max number they want in them (say 32). You can’t add another one even if you have a room, because that would mean more staff, and they can’t afford to staff a whole new Y7 class. If they could, they would have one.

The person is thinking aloud and sharing their thought process with you so you can agree a time together. If you understand other things that are going on you can see the range of times possible for your activity then chime in your own limitations.

No, the rooms and room sizes were to show the school is full, not the year group. They help to show that they can’t accommodate another Y7 class, for both rooming and staffing reasons (the staff being busy teaching the other years too).

Yes

And the room size thing might be their tactic to avoid other questions.

it sounds like you are expecting efficiency and logic from professionals. No experience of schools but logic and professionalism seem to be at an all time low in 2023.