To not cancel our wedding because DS has COVID

[CheeseCrackers45]

Hi all. 1 year old son has had a bit of a cough for about a week. He's a bit tired but otherwise well. No fever, happily playing etc. Went to the GP today just in case it was another chest infection (he's already had several). Turns out he has COVID.

Here's the kicker... Me and DSs dad are due to get married on Thursday and DS is obviously attending 😅 We've taken tests and so far they are negative. My colleague is saying I'm being selfish by not cancelling the wedding. Me and my partner have decided to go ahead with it, but of course will be telling all guests that DS has COVID and letting them make their own decision about attending.

YANBU - no you shouldn't cancel
YABU - You should cancel

@Afteropening I am extremely COVID aware, unlike most of the general population. The government has completely given up on informing people about the risks of COVID and is acting like it's over, to the point of barely testing. It is sensible to be cautious about a novel disease and take a precautionary principle.

Just because the government says it's fine to go around care homes without masks and testing doesn't mean it's right. Are you aware of the rates of hospital acquired infection? They are shocking! Hospitals are failing in their duty of care to sick and vulnerable patients.

You will find plenty of scientists, immunologists, etc who completely disagree with the current response to COVID. There's so much anger at what is coming out of the COVID enquiry about 2020 but the reality is the government is still doing exactly the same thing now by minimising it!

Also please note my response above was directed at another poster and you. Other poster said "absolute rubbish" in response to my facts, that's why I'm asking for scientific evidence. I shouldn't have tagged you, it was an afterthought, because you said I was being hyperbolic.

Finally, you are putting words in my mouth with

i did not say “you were being hyperbolic by presenting the facts.”

Note that you made up those speech marks...

Take it from the day of him being Ill and add the 5 days from there. That’s public health guidelines. I wouldn’t tell anyone though.

@AussieManque

your posting history makes for very very sad reading. What a way to live.

@Afteropening I live a perfectly normal life, thanks.

And I'm secure in the knowledge that I'm doing everything in my power to keep my son and family safe from multiple infections and the consequences of these.

"Living with Covid" shouldn't mean a complete acceptance of infection. We try and suppress other illnesses, why not Covid?

@AussieManque you still wear masks everywhere

surely your child will see that his mother rather sticks out like a sore thumb? When / if your child is old enough - you will also make them where masks everywhere won’t you?

@AussieManque get help with your health anxiety, it's going to impact your children. They'll be the next generation of mumsnetters unable to function for fear of I'll health.

And I'm secure in the knowledge that I'm doing everything in my power to keep my son and family safe from multiple infections and the consequences of these.

I know you were masks everywhere but do you also make your toddler do so? And visitors to your home?

And to bring up children!

The wedding has already happened, and OP told us DS was going to be there. She told the guests and nobody said they'd stay away because of it.

Which, for all the pages of argument, is I suspect what most people would do. Nobody would actually cancel the wedding, or even try and make it more outdoorsy in a wet British November. And there's a split over whether to tell people or not.

I'm also not surprised that guests would still come even knowing about DS. It's a fact of life now that you have to expect covid at any sizeable gathering, and people who've already accepted an invitation will know that. It's a self selecting group. Happening to be aware of someone's positive test a few days beforehand doesn't change the fundamentals.

Depends on the wedding.
My wedding coat £300 and the only cost that we would have lost was the £30 booking fee so if my daughter had been ill enough to warrant a gp trip say 2 days before the wedding I would have rearranged as the disruption to our plans would be minimal. If she had tested positive for an illness a week plus before I wouldn't.

I wouldn't cancel the wedding but I would let people know. I wouldn't attend a wedding if I knew there was a chance of catching covid.
It's not a cold, and I was incapacitated for three months last year with long covid.

A wedding involves older people, who may be more susceptible or have health issues that make covid dangerous for them.

Yeah true I guess if you'd only lose a few quid it might be worth cancelling for an under the weather child. I'm guessing for that price it must've been a registry office and very small no of guests.

@AussieManque

say your son was getting married
he discovered your toddler grandson had Covid
He told all guests and explained no pressure to attend

would you attend?

How many guests did you have?

presumably nothing after the ceremony? Or was the £30 deposit the venue hire?

@TrashedSofa@Afteropening

3 guests only 2 were allowed in and we had a meal booked at a restaurant for the 5 of us! £30 wedding dress, my partner wore jeans and a blazer he already owned. Other costs with 50:50 administration and the meal

I know I'm very much in the minority just wanted to broach the subject that there are some weddings that are very much moveable! 😆

I think as much as anything else cancellation is about level of inconvenience to the guests.

If I'd already booked annual leave to attend a wedding, as probably some guests will for a Thursday, and perhaps had to arrange travel and accommodation, I'd be profoundly unimpressed to find out the wedding had been cancelled because of a positive covid test in a child otherwise well enough to attend. Whereas if it was at the jeans in the registry office, few pints at pub next door then bus home end of the spectrum, probably no big deal.

@Afteropening I do not have health anxiety. I am following the precautionary principle to minimise my risk and my family's risk of catching a novel, potentially disabling disease. It's still a category 3 biohazard like TB, which I'm sure you wouldn't be happy to catch. So why Covid?

I work on air quality, both outdoor and indoor. I am very aware of the risks of airborne viruses like COVID in indoor spaces. I work towards good indoor air quality in public spaces through purification and ventilation. I'm sure you'll have noted, in your extensive research of my previous posts, that I recommended OP hire air purifiers for her wedding venue, and I post often about clean air in schools and hospitals.

And yes, I'm the only person at work who wears a N95. Yes, my toddler wear a mask when he goes into busy indoor spaces, because it keeps him safe. I don't care what people think, I'm keeping my family safe, and I'm following the science around aerosol spread to do so. The COVID scientists do the same in their families.

Perhaps instead of judging people for taking sensible precautions, you could expend your energies on calling for clean indoor air too, in schools and hospitals. We shouldn't just blindly accept that our children can and do catch COVID at school multiple times. This should be the government's responsibility, and in other countries like France there is legislation about indoor air in schools.

When your toddler is school age

will you make him wear a mask to school?

the answer is going to be a sad one

@AussieManque

Would you?

Sounds lovely

. I work towards good indoor air quality in public spaces through purification and ventilation

come again? How can you do this In public places?

do you and your toddler mask up whenever you visit family?

you could expend your energies on calling for clean indoor air too, in schools and hospitals

not a chance. I would much prefer money to be spent on better sports facilities at school and more HCPs in hospitals

@CheeseCrackers45 I hope the day went perfectly for you.

@Afteropening you accused me of not reading your post properly yet you fail to note I talked about clean INDOOR air in public places. Schools, hospitals, restaurants, libraries, dentists etc.

I'm sorry you don't think clean air is worthwhile. No one loses from clean air. You are aware that CO2 levels skyrocket in classrooms with no ventilation, impacting your child's ability to learn? Do you not think clean water is worthwhile too? We breathe many more litres of air a day than we drink water, yet you would never drink water that someone has just spat out. But you happily breathe air that has been through someones lungs already, even though it might come out contaminated with virus? The only good thing that's come out of COVID is growing awareness of indoor air quality.

If it were my son's wedding, I'd do what I suggested to OP: hire air purifiers, open windows, move as much of the event outdoors as possible, inform attendees of the positive test, and I'd attend in an N95 mask. I'd also provide masks for attendees.

Any more questions, just read through my 200 + previous posts since you seem to find them so fascinating.

I'm sorry you don't think clean air is worthwhile. No one loses from clean air

why would I want vast amounts of money being spent on this when my children and I, and my relatives and their children and my friends and their children etc etc… all seem to thrive with the current air we have