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AIBU?

To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

574 replies

Runki · 06/11/2023 21:31

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

3720 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
2%
You are NOT being unreasonable
98%
LoopyLooooo · 06/11/2023 21:46

If this is true it doesn't matter what his childhood was like.

He chose to go out for a pub lunch, so he knows there'll be leftover food everywhere.

If he can't keep his hands to himself, stay out of pubs and restaurants.

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Hankunamatata · 06/11/2023 21:46

I would have walked out. That is beyond grim.
I actually thought you were going to say his own meals leftovers that he had brought home from the pub.

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SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 06/11/2023 21:46

fishfingersandtoes · 06/11/2023 21:45

The pertinent question is why can't he bare seeing food go to waste?
Past experiences of poverty?
Ecological reasons?
Fwiw I don't find it all that gross but it is a pretty unusual thing to do.

Why don't you think it's gross?

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notahappybunny7 · 06/11/2023 21:47

I worked with a women in a pub when I was a teenager who did this with customer’s leftover food. She also smoked crack on her break in the toilets. I’m not joking.

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KissyMissy · 06/11/2023 21:50

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 06/11/2023 21:35

I honestly thought this was going to be about him hoovering up your leftovers, but oh my god, thats really gross!

Yes I thought the same!

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MyDogNala · 06/11/2023 21:50

Eww. Mine sweeping randoms’ dinners. Yeah that’s a bit grim alright.

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TomatoSandwiches · 06/11/2023 21:50

I wouldn't have sat down to eat with him after that, I'd have left him to it and gone never to be seen by him again.

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LisaD1 · 06/11/2023 21:51

Just reading that has turned my stomach, that’s absolutely disgusting. There would be no more dates for me 🤢

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GoodnightJude1 · 06/11/2023 21:52

Urgh. Grim.

There could have been all kinds of wrongness on that left over sausage 🤢

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YoureALizardHarry11 · 06/11/2023 21:52

🤣🤣🤣

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Dacadactyl · 06/11/2023 21:53

I loathe food waste with an absolute passion but in no way would I eat someone else's leftovers in a pub.

He sounds unhinged. I'd have to get rid of him.

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craigth162 · 06/11/2023 21:54

Omg thats rank

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 06/11/2023 21:55

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 06/11/2023 21:46

Why don't you think it's gross?

What's actually 'gross' about it? Do you think the diner put the unwanted sausages in his mouth and took them out again before leaving them on the plate? People have germs - you, me, the chefs, the serving staff, everybody.

There is too much food waste and that's a fact. There are some very privileged people who pontificate and it's clear that they have little idea of how other people might live. The constant cries of 'gross' are theatrical and a bit pathetic really. It's food. Leftover food.

The reason why OP should dump this chump is because they were going out to eat and he didn't behave in an appropriate manner. He ate the leftovers and then let the OP order and eat alone. They are incompatible; many people would be incompatible with this man.

Find another one, OP. Leave this plate-scout to his own devices.

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Dweetfidilove · 06/11/2023 21:56

Not where I thought this was going.

guessing the shock paralysed you, because I’d have left him to his ‘lunch’ 🤢

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lightisnotwhite · 06/11/2023 21:56

I totally get you Op. It’s grim when out on a date.

However people rooting through bins in supermarkets etc are eco warriors and doing the right thing by the planet. Plenty of food is touched by others including by chefs and waiting staff before it gets to your mouth.
So weirdly I sort of get his point that food is in fact just food.

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TheMagicDeckchair · 06/11/2023 21:56

crankit · 06/11/2023 21:36

Ewww
I used to work in a pub and one lad who worked there would eat the leftovers from the plates brought back into the kitchen, proper tramp

I worked at a large pub chain and quite a few of the young lads would pick at leftovers, usually if there was a side of onion rings or chips or garlic bread and a couple left in the bowl rather than on a person’s plate. But these were 18 year olds, you’d hope they’d grow out of it by the time they were dating.

OP one of my two year olds steals leftovers and other people’s dregs of drinks. But he’s two!

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Poppyseed14 · 06/11/2023 21:56

BrightYellowDaffodil · 06/11/2023 21:34

That would give me the ick so much I’d feel myself slam shut like a startled oyster.

🤣🤣🤣

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NeedToChangeName · 06/11/2023 21:56

I doubt this is true

But if it is, I'm staggered you needed to ask strangers if this was ok

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fishfingersandtoes · 06/11/2023 21:57

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 06/11/2023 21:46

Why don't you think it's gross?

I think I just have a higher tolerance for that sort of thing than the average person. I assume the food was probably untouched with no bites taken out of it, so it's just been on a plate and someone hasn't liked the look of it.
If there were bites out of it or someone had licked it that would be a different story

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AlwaysPrettyOnTheInside · 06/11/2023 21:57

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 06/11/2023 21:37

How has there been votes for YABU?

Who are these disgusting people?

Probably the same people that think touching other people's food is fine on the half a doughnut thread.

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Towwanthustice · 06/11/2023 21:58

Eurgh
So many thoughts running through my head..
Like diseases...
Someone put it in their mouth before changng their mind..
Is he really that hard up?
Just a red flag deak breaker from me..

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SkySecret · 06/11/2023 21:59

I mean, I commend him for the hatred of food waste. I hate it too. But even the thought of eating a strangers cold leftovers makes me heave.

It’s not necessarily borne of tight-fistedness, unless he expressed that as a reason? OP says she offered to pay, so he wasn’t saving money by doing this.

But it also ruined the date if OP is sat eating alone because he’s snaffled sausages. Weird.

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Canisaysomething · 06/11/2023 22:00

His hygiene standards are very very low.

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MeanWeedratStew · 06/11/2023 22:01

People who don’t believe this is true have probably not been on a date in a long time. There are some proper weirdos out there. What’s more unbelievable is when you find a nice, normal man who does nothing to put you off. You keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

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Twilight7777 · 06/11/2023 22:02

Eurggghhh I’ve got the ick so bad 🤢🤮

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