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AIBU?

To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

574 replies

Runki · 06/11/2023 21:31

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

3720 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
2%
You are NOT being unreasonable
98%
Candathon · 06/11/2023 22:15

It's gross - but I think the worst thing is that he let you eat alone after. Didn't that feel weird OP?

Mischance · 06/11/2023 22:16

I cannot bear to see wasted food and used to eat up leftovers at home. Not sure I would do it with some unknown person's leftovers, but I get the point he was making.

MarchXX · 06/11/2023 22:16

I haven't read the thread replies but your experience reminds me of last week when we were at our local pub for tea ( we have been going there for many years). Anyway, I noticed that the couple at a nearby table left most of their food (chicken in a basket type thing and chips) and jokingly said to DH to get it and he could have it for lunch next day. I was only joking though I too hate waste and always ask for a doggy bag if I don't finish a plate of food.

It is probably not a good idea to do if you are trying to impress your date though (wait until you are married Grin).

NalafromtheLionKing · 06/11/2023 22:16

A bit ick but then he’ll probably be the secretly thrifty one living in the multi-million pound house and everyone will wonder how he did it.

lightisnotwhite · 06/11/2023 22:17

The original diner might have sneezed and coughed on the leftovers

Thats literally every bit of fresh food and veg in the supermarket, every salad bar or buffet.

If you saw how many times people squeezed with the hands they had just sneezed into and dropped the fresh baguettes in a supermarket you would never eat them again. I don't. It took 2 weeks to see horrible things.

AspiringMermaid · 06/11/2023 22:18

Disgusting.

Teenagehorrorbag · 06/11/2023 22:19

Urgh! How does he know the sausage hadn't been dropped on the floor, or licked by a child, or sneezed on? Utterly unforgiveable and vile, dump him immediately!

viques · 06/11/2023 22:19

I don’t think I could kiss the mouth that ate some random leftovers.

WhateverMate · 06/11/2023 22:20

Mischance · 06/11/2023 22:16

I cannot bear to see wasted food and used to eat up leftovers at home. Not sure I would do it with some unknown person's leftovers, but I get the point he was making.

The point he was making is that he's a tight bastard who goes on a lunch date with his girlfriend, and then snaffles cold sausages and toast, whilst she sits and orders alone.

I can only imagine the staff didn't see him if they didn't throw him out.

Unless I've missed all the 'Come dine for free' notices in pubs and restaurants.

BottleShipDown · 06/11/2023 22:20

My DH hates food waste. He will eat all manner of things at home. He can be pretty gross - eats things that most others wouldn’t. He once ate broccoli even though it had loads of greenfly cooked into it. He’s eaten all manner of revolting things whilst travelling. Eats bread that has gone mouldy if it’s not too bad. Mouldy cheese. DC leftovers. Unwashed veg. Etc.

Even HE would draw the line at this.

Also, if you go out for a meal together and then one person doesn’t eat, that’s quite rude. If money is an issue then he could suggest a coffee or a walk or something instead.

If he has lots of other stuff going for him you could talk to him, but for me, he’d have to be utterly perfect in the every other way to get past that.

tobee · 06/11/2023 22:21

If we all said it's absolutely fine, no problem with it, would it change your mind op? That's what counts really

MrTiddlesTheCat · 06/11/2023 22:21

I thought I had pretty low standards but my god, that's utterly minging. They might have left that food because someone had dropped it on the floor. Or the person with ebola coughed on it. Grim!

northernlightsareamazing · 06/11/2023 22:21

Totally gross IMO

Janieforever · 06/11/2023 22:21

I genuinely can’t perceive someone doing that, to the extent it’s proper made me laugh, but if it’s genuine and he’s been saying it before then he’s done it before.

🤮😂🤮😂

stormpitchchrome · 06/11/2023 22:22

So grim. That would be if for me, OP.

TokyoSushi · 06/11/2023 22:22

I honestly feel a bit sick! 🤢

Bluela18 · 06/11/2023 22:22

That's disgusting!!! For all he knows someone could have dribbled all over them or they could have fallen on the floor. Gross

Clafoutie · 06/11/2023 22:23

SunnyCoco · 06/11/2023 22:13

I'm another one who doesn't find it that gross, inherently

The bigger problem for me is that it's an innapropriate way of behaving when you're supposed to be having a meal with someone.
It makes me question his judgment for sure.

Best of luck whatever you decide

This.

momonpurpose · 06/11/2023 22:24

Oh no he has got to go. That is so foul on so many levels

Katbum · 06/11/2023 22:25

Says a lot not just that he has done this, but that he turned what was supposed to be a treat for you both - a meal out and a date - into this weird situation where you are left eating alone. Doesn’t suggest he is good partner material.

ElleCapitaine · 06/11/2023 22:25

I think my hymen just healed.

BarryK3nt · 06/11/2023 22:25

And you sat there and watched him do that did you?

limefrog · 06/11/2023 22:26

I know quite a few people who hate food waste but have never seen any of them do this.

It would put me right off a potential partner - it shows a real lack of social awareness, even if he's not concerned about potential germs/ viruses, it's terrible etiquette as well as just gross. Yuck.

Whichwhatnow · 06/11/2023 22:27

I can probably go one worse (although it wasn't a date, thank god). A man I used to know would regularly go up to tables where people were eating and fart directly in their faces so they'd leave and he could eat their leftovers 🤮.

I can KIND of understand not wanting to leave meat uneaten from a moral standpoint. But yeah, not the thing you do on a date.

Myfabby · 06/11/2023 22:27

BarryK3nt · 06/11/2023 22:25

And you sat there and watched him do that did you?

Honestly- the minute he did that, I'd be off.

I certainly wouldn't sit down, order a meal and spend time with him

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