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AIBU?

To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

574 replies

Runki · 06/11/2023 21:31

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

3720 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
2%
You are NOT being unreasonable
98%
Vonesk · 09/11/2023 10:11

You are correct, however I think this person needs help. This is not regular behaviour. I should not plan wedding anytime soon. A friend is a friend and it's not time to cut someone out but they re deffo exhibiting challenging habits which could rub off on your own well being if you decide to marry.
I witnessed a friend do this, he was recently widowered. And was suffering grief effects. Ok recoiled and admonished him , he was a acquaintance. I personally think it's disgusting and would put me off enjoying my day.

Justagoose · 09/11/2023 10:27

It's one thing not wanting to waste food but eating off a strangers plate is quite another! They could have anything, they could have licked the food, sneezed on it, it could have been dropped on the floor hence why left. Absolutely gross!!
If you really like the guy I think you need to talk to him and tell him how uncomfortable it made you, it's definitely not normal behaviour!

Nicparke · 09/11/2023 16:28

This is the biggest ick that I didn't know existed. Absolutely vile.

AuntMarch · 09/11/2023 16:54

BodegaSushi · 06/11/2023 21:35

Not a chance this happened unless you picked up a homeless man off the street?

I've seen it happen too.

ginasevern · 09/11/2023 16:58

I don't know how you managed to eat your own meal without vomitting. This is absolutely revolting behaviour. I've never in my life seen anyone do this and I've mixed with some dubious characters. Are you sure he isn't homeless?

femfemlicious · 09/11/2023 17:01

😯 yes. This would absolutely put me off...and I'm very easy going

ElizabethAA · 09/11/2023 17:02

Nicparke · 09/11/2023 16:28

This is the biggest ick that I didn't know existed. Absolutely vile.

Agree!!😱

BodegaSushi · 09/11/2023 18:29

AuntMarch · 09/11/2023 16:54

I've seen it happen too.

You’ve seen a person that you know do this? To the plate of a complete stranger that had just been sitting out in the open?

nanamoo · 09/11/2023 18:52

EEEEWWWWW! I wouldn't have ordered anything and would have noped outta there!

CaramacFiend · 09/11/2023 21:10

Grim 🤢

MrsRaspberry · 09/11/2023 22:58

That would put me right off that's trampy behaviour to be honest. I'd have been embarrassed to sit with him in public

ChristmasBingle · 10/11/2023 09:41

I saw this on Reddit the other day?

ButtonFork · 10/11/2023 15:54

ChristmasBingle · 10/11/2023 09:41

I saw this on Reddit the other day?

What are you asking us?

VeeTea · 10/11/2023 17:42

I agree and am slightly surprised at how extreme most of these responses are. I can totally believe this happened and also really hate the idea of food waste (for environmental and social/economic reasons ie if food wasn’t being ordered and not eaten then there’d be more to go elsewhere possibly at more affordable prices for others to eat). I wouldn’t go as far as eating off a stranger’s plate but have eaten friends’ leftovers. I don’t think it’s totally disgusting, a whole sausage left on a plate is unlikely to have someone else’s germs on it because they’ve left it. Different if it was half eaten.

beyourownchampion · 10/11/2023 18:48

I had to read this twice as I thought it was a piss take.
The only person I’ve ever seen do this was a small child in the school dinner hall. There was obviously issues there and they might not have known any better.
Your boyf however is an adult and should act like one. Has he never heard of etiquette? This maybe just the start! What if you find out he goes through bins? It’s a bit grim to be honest, I think you should get rid !!!

OhsoNat · 10/11/2023 18:49

Wow never heard such a thing! Who would do that! I’d definitely be running a mile

Sometimesharshbutalwaysfair · 12/11/2023 06:39

I'm surprised there were no other wider indicators that this man is strange.

Are you saying he is completely lovely except this disgusting habit?

jadhek2033 · 12/11/2023 07:15

So glad you said this! I've no idea how you managed to stay and eat with them after. It's making me feel sick just thinking about it 🤢
What a tramp!

Toptutort · 12/11/2023 07:33

So sorry that you had to experience this
I don't think that he's the man for you.x

AnotheBiscuit · 12/11/2023 08:18

Be honest with him how you feel. Also let it be known his intellect and scavenger ability will get him through during hard times. You will be guaranteed to survive . Good catch.

Crafthead · 12/11/2023 08:45

Come on, do you really need an excuse from Mumsnet to dump this guy? If you were really keen on him you'd have found it quirky and endearing as we all do with our partners when we have the rose tinted glasses of new love. My guess is you weren't that into him anyway and are looking for a reason to call it off.

I wouldn't have liked being made to eat alone, though. I once decided a date was going nowhere when we arrived in a bar and he threw £20 on the table and disappeared off to the loo saying "get me a decent bitter".

Mumto2kids86 · 12/11/2023 08:46

I also hate to see wasted food but…that’s absolutely disgusting and embarrassing behaviour.

Butchyrestingface · 12/11/2023 08:47

Jaysus. Just reading that pure gied me the dry boak. 🤢

And I have a colleague who eats roadkill.

Janey331 · 12/11/2023 08:59

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 06/11/2023 21:37

How has there been votes for YABU?

Who are these disgusting people?

I was wondering the same. Come on, fess up you filthy people, give us the reasons why you think this is OK! 😂🤣

Carloss62022p · 12/11/2023 10:17

Personally this type of behaviour would put me right off, and i would have a very serious discussion with him regarding the way his lack of manners not to mention his lack of hygiene made you feel.

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