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AIBU?

To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

574 replies

Runki · 06/11/2023 21:31

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

3720 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
2%
You are NOT being unreasonable
98%
nottaotter · 06/11/2023 22:27

@MonsteraMama That is so grim! Is he a guy who does this in front of anyone or within his friendship group? Not that it matters, im just trying to picture someone who does this.

TheCadoganArms · 06/11/2023 22:27

Sunseaandsand1 · 06/11/2023 22:15

I wouldn’t let my dog eat someone else’s leftovers. I’m intrigued about his “hating seeing food go to waste” comment though, what’s he like at home? Is he one of those people who has all sorts of fancy ways of storing his fruit, veg, bread & cooked food? I’m guessing not.

In fairness your dog licks its own arsehole and would happily eat puke off the pavement.

jlpth · 06/11/2023 22:28

I know I’m going to be in the minority - but him eating someone’s saliva isn’t going to harm him. It’s going straight to his stomach to get nuked in strong acid.

I wouldn’t have taken the sausage and toast. However, I think it’s basically not too bad to have done it. I just asked my teens and they agreed. Perhaps we are just a family of dogs. We do have a dog and perhaps we have become like him!

FallingStar21 · 06/11/2023 22:30

TheCadoganArms · 06/11/2023 22:27

In fairness your dog licks its own arsehole and would happily eat puke off the pavement.

So true 😂😂😂

Whichwhatnow · 06/11/2023 22:30

I also used to have a vegan friend who would eat any leftover meat from other people's plates from restaurants because 'it doesn't count because I'm ensuring the animal didn't die for nothing'.

Maybe this is more prevalent than I realised 😬

cleaninglady123 · 06/11/2023 22:32

Oh my god that is so rank!!!

MeanWeedratStew · 06/11/2023 22:32

Doesn’t saliva spread certain forms of hepatitis? Not to mention cold sores, colds, flu, Covid…

SpicedAppleAndFreshCider · 06/11/2023 22:32

jlpth · 06/11/2023 22:28

I know I’m going to be in the minority - but him eating someone’s saliva isn’t going to harm him. It’s going straight to his stomach to get nuked in strong acid.

I wouldn’t have taken the sausage and toast. However, I think it’s basically not too bad to have done it. I just asked my teens and they agreed. Perhaps we are just a family of dogs. We do have a dog and perhaps we have become like him!

My teenage DS would think it was disgusting and he's a pretty cool kid.

LilyThePinksDealer · 06/11/2023 22:32

Other peoples spit on my sausage no thanks

Fairospop22 · 06/11/2023 22:32

Of all of the YANBU I have ever voted this this the furthest towards YANBU I’ve ever felt.

Runki · 06/11/2023 22:32

Unfortunately, it did happen! Not a homeless person!

OP posts:
TravelInHope · 06/11/2023 22:33

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 06/11/2023 21:55

What's actually 'gross' about it? Do you think the diner put the unwanted sausages in his mouth and took them out again before leaving them on the plate? People have germs - you, me, the chefs, the serving staff, everybody.

There is too much food waste and that's a fact. There are some very privileged people who pontificate and it's clear that they have little idea of how other people might live. The constant cries of 'gross' are theatrical and a bit pathetic really. It's food. Leftover food.

The reason why OP should dump this chump is because they were going out to eat and he didn't behave in an appropriate manner. He ate the leftovers and then let the OP order and eat alone. They are incompatible; many people would be incompatible with this man.

Find another one, OP. Leave this plate-scout to his own devices.

My thoughts entirely. It’s not the act that’s gross, but thinking it’s appropriate on a date.

doitwithlove · 06/11/2023 22:34

Absolute RANK 🤮🤢

@OP, what have you decided about seeing this person again?!?!?!

Justleaveitblankthen · 06/11/2023 22:35

Absolutely gross, but I would dine out on the memory for years to come 😂
Did you both go to sit at a table that hadn't been cleared? 🤔
Just trying to picture it, because that alone is pretty grim.

Kastri · 06/11/2023 22:35

I could not even stay there if he did that,I would walk out.

MonsteraMama · 06/11/2023 22:35

nottaotter · 06/11/2023 22:27

@MonsteraMama That is so grim! Is he a guy who does this in front of anyone or within his friendship group? Not that it matters, im just trying to picture someone who does this.

Oh yeah on a normal night out with his pals, takes a special kind of shamelessness to be so gross and get away with it. Man's happily married too, he does however at least do his wife the courtesy of not scranning on everything he sees when they're on a date, so he's better than OP's prince charming at least!

AirFryerFrequentFlyer · 06/11/2023 22:35

BrightYellowDaffodil · 06/11/2023 21:34

That would give me the ick so much I’d feel myself slam shut like a startled oyster.

GrinGrinGrin Mumsnet eloquence

Mylittlepea · 06/11/2023 22:36

🤮🤮🤮 grim
who the fuck are the 3% who voted YABU???

ThereIbledit · 06/11/2023 22:36

I had similar happen once, in that I went to Wetherspoons with a group of friends including one I had fancied secretly for some time. He ate cold chips off a plate left on the table by a stranger before we got there.

I got over my crush in a nanosecond! Why are men so fucking gross??

Janieforever · 06/11/2023 22:37

Oddly I find reading anyone saying this isn’t gross actually more nauseating than what he did and what he did was bad. I don’t know why, it’s just turned by stomach,

hiwever I can’t fathom the op apparently sat there as he minesweeped then ordered her meal and ate it. I’d have said to him oi, don’t do that, it’s disgusting and really poor etiquette, and if he continued I’d have left. Imagine sitting there with someone doing that. You’d even stop your kids doing it.

Runki · 06/11/2023 22:37

He grew up as an only child with quite well off parents. So no background that I know of related to struggling for money or being out on the street. But you never know everything someone's been through, I suppose.

OP posts:
Happyhappy10 · 06/11/2023 22:38

Wtf. Lol. Run!

BadLad · 06/11/2023 22:38

I’d have left immediately if my date did that.

But I suspect that there is more reusing of leftovers than people want to believe in restaurants. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if some of the cheaper restaurants, where presentation of food isn’t high priority, took untouched food from a cleared plate and kept it for the next customer to order it, after a few minutes in the microwave.

Obviously not toast with bite marks, but an untouched bread roll or mound of mash I can see having a second life. Perhaps I’m just cynical.

Toddlerteaplease · 06/11/2023 22:39

I can't bear wasted food, but doing that Is just grim!

OutOfSyncWithReality · 06/11/2023 22:42

I'm as environmentally friendly as I can be and hate all waste but I couldn't get past this OP. I might have picked the sausage up for the dog but probably wouldn't.

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