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AIBU?

To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

574 replies

Runki · 06/11/2023 21:31

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

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Am I being unreasonable?

3720 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
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You are NOT being unreasonable
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Whichwhatnow · 07/11/2023 19:32

Frostine · 07/11/2023 18:39

He is probably also a road kill eater , never eat a homemade casserole / roast at his
house !

It obviously depends on the roadkill (not sure I'd fancy badger or fox!) but what is actually wrong with this? We had venison at my sister's wedding because my dad and I came across a very freshly (as in still warm) runover deer. It was delicious! What's better, to leave it to rot? I'd rather eat that than miserable battery hens or something!

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Chubbymummyof2 · 07/11/2023 19:37

I’ve not read all the comments but this thread reminded me of someone I used to know who once took food off a plate that had been left outside a hotel bedroom. Like the people had room service and put the plates etc outside their door when they’d finished.
The person I knew took some chicken wings off one of the plates and ate them. Gross

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housethatbuiltme · 07/11/2023 19:42

BardRelic · 07/11/2023 15:26

However people rooting through bins in supermarkets etc are eco warriors and doing the right thing by the planet. Plenty of food is touched by others including by chefs and waiting staff before it gets to your mouth.
So weirdly I sort of get his point that food is in fact just food.

Yes. I kind of admire the brass balls of it, in a way. I'm also finding all the horror on this thread quite amusing. I'm betting most people don't see, or think about, what goes on with their food in restaurant kitchens. Or what happens when you eat from a Chinese buffet.

I get that it's inappropriate behaviour on a date. I wouldn't want to be left eating my food on my own because my date had nicked leftovers. But the waste not, want not attitude is quite intriguing. Our stomachs are pretty robust, so it's more the thought of what he did rather than it being likely that the sausages were any more disgusting than any other food any of us have ever eaten. So yes, I'd be dubious about his boundaries, but I wouldn't flat out condemn what he did.

I HIGHLY doubt there is a toddler with a snotty nose licking the sausage the kitchen sends out to me... I can tell you for a fact that is commonly the reason stuff is left on my plate when we leave at a restaurant though (either that or said toddler threw it on the floor and I scooped it up onto the plate before leaving so the waitress doesn't have too).

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housethatbuiltme · 07/11/2023 19:49

PramPusherCentral · 07/11/2023 18:42

Those who have enjoyed one night stands and kissed and had intercourse with organs that also produce human waste, why are untouched left overs unhygienic? The chances of picking up an incurable disease from that are slim to none. As for a one night stand, wel…

I have no skin in the game. I wouldn’t eat left overs in a pub and would try not to judge someone who did, they hardly killed a baby.

I haven't had a one night stand (maybe I'm in the minority now a days) or licked an arsehole etc...

I mean your not likely to get an incurable fatal illness from licking random blue vomit in a nightclub bathroom (I have SEEN a friend of a friend do this and spoiler they where absoloutly fine) but lets be honest thats not the only reason not to do it.

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Ilovecleaning · 07/11/2023 19:59

Totally wrong, disgusting, embarrassing etc etc. Makes me ask what else would he do?? Hope you dumped him.

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PramPusherCentral · 07/11/2023 20:05

housethatbuiltme · 07/11/2023 19:49

I haven't had a one night stand (maybe I'm in the minority now a days) or licked an arsehole etc...

I mean your not likely to get an incurable fatal illness from licking random blue vomit in a nightclub bathroom (I have SEEN a friend of a friend do this and spoiler they where absoloutly fine) but lets be honest thats not the only reason not to do it.

Point well made. I was just bemused by the things that are considered unhygienic while others don’t cause the bat of an eyelid. People routinely put for more unhygienic things in their mouth.

Anyway, I don’t want to confuse the OP, I wouldn’t want to date this guy, not because he ate sausages, but because he’s so willing to brazenly and shamelessly break social norms. I would wonder what other odd practices are in store. Plus the attraction would have died immediately.

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Greenshed · 07/11/2023 20:06

I haven’t read through the 18 pages of replies, but my reaction to your initial post is “yuk”. How gross.

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5128gap · 07/11/2023 20:10

I hate food waste with a passion. But that would disgust me. Its also very very eccentric and i can't be doing with any sort of weird foibles these days.

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K4tM · 07/11/2023 20:17

Gross behaviour.

I once went on a date with a guy who cleared his throat and then spat over a hedge into a field on our country stroll.

I was speechless. We didn’t go on a second date.

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Zerosleep · 07/11/2023 20:26

I think I just vomited in my mouth when I read this 🤢

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willWillSmithsmith · 07/11/2023 20:32

I’ve never come across this before, totally repulsive. Eating leftovers from a stranger’s abandoned plate can only be acceptable if you are literally starving and it’s your only option to survive. To do that on a date is so unbelievably gross. Dump him and tell him why, no need to spare his feelings, he needs to learn some basic etiquette and manners.

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Pres11 · 07/11/2023 20:34

Oh my god, do not see him again!

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Madeforretirement · 07/11/2023 20:35

You know that nervous laugh you do sometimes when you can’t quite get over what you’ve just read? I did that.

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LittleMonks11 · 07/11/2023 20:36

Sweet Jesus. Did I just read that?

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CroccyWoccy · 07/11/2023 20:44

I think this is definitely quite a deep rooted social norm. DH and I were in a bar recently and we’re about to order a pizza when the group sitting next to us left leaving a whole pizza (bar one slice). We had been sat right by them so could see nothing unpleasant had happened to it and it was perfectly fresh. But despite joking about it we definitely wouldn’t have eaten it.

But if we’d been part of their group we’d have happily shared pizza from the same plate. If they’d turned to us and said “we’ve over ordered, would you like a pizza?” we would have taken it. If they’d left a newspaper behind on the table we’d have picked it up and read it. But taking the leftover pizza felt totally wrong.

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CaptainJackSparrow85 · 07/11/2023 20:46

Yes, that would absolutely disgust me. Yes, it’s not entirely rational but I don’t think people are required to be entirely rational about the stuff that disgusts them.

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Darlingx · 07/11/2023 20:50

Where’s dessert in the Wheelie bins outside? I think lines have to be drawn and eating off left over plates is desperate behaviour. It’s what I would imagine having to bring myself to do if I was homeless and penniless it doesn’t exactly make your date experience special in a good way pilfering old leftovers is hardly romantic like u say its been touched by who knows who with who knows what. I had a date along these lines in East london in some trendy squat type place with a big Zebra shoe randomly on the table. I asked where the toilets were and a guy pointing to two trucks in the road . I think he thought I should get my geggs down inbetween the trucks if I wanted a wee. Standards got have Standards

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CaramelMac · 07/11/2023 20:50

I would assume he’s a psychopath, I’d be tempted to go out with him again to see what other weird stuff he does.

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Fluffyknickers · 07/11/2023 20:58

no going back from the ick 🤮

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Lindyloomillion1 · 07/11/2023 21:09

Disgusting

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Darlingx · 07/11/2023 21:10

That reminds me when I was a student I worked in a cafe but left because the owner was handsy . You got free garlic bread with every soup ordered. Guess how they made the garlic bread. By scraping the food out of the baguette sandwiches from the day before and toasting it with garlic butter. I don’t suppose with knowledge of allergies now they could get away with that.

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Runki · 07/11/2023 21:18

@Sauslages Thank you! God, those people sound dreadful. I think that's the thing that plagues me about it; like that couple, I can't help feeling annoyed that someone else paid for that food in the first place, and even if they didn't finish it, it's the sense of entitlement that the snaffler (for want of a better word!) has that as long as they haven't had to pay for something, it's fair game. But it's okay for the original diner to have bought it in the first place. Thank you for understanding my feelings about this!

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LittleMonks11 · 07/11/2023 21:20

Darlingx · 07/11/2023 21:10

That reminds me when I was a student I worked in a cafe but left because the owner was handsy . You got free garlic bread with every soup ordered. Guess how they made the garlic bread. By scraping the food out of the baguette sandwiches from the day before and toasting it with garlic butter. I don’t suppose with knowledge of allergies now they could get away with that.

Leaving aside the handsy boss - do you mean unsold baguettes or half eaten baguettes? If the former then I think that's actually quite a good idea. If the latter then 🤢

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Runki · 07/11/2023 21:21

@Flannyfaps Thank you ever so much. X

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Runki · 07/11/2023 21:29

@Madeforretirement ha ha I do know the laugh. I did the same nervous laugh when it happened. 😬 Be a while before I stop, ha ha. Sorry to have made you do it too! 😉

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