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AIBU?

To be put off by date eating pub leftovers

574 replies

Runki · 06/11/2023 21:31

I have never posted on here before so please be gentle! 😉 I just wanted some honest opinions from people. I've been seeing a man for a number of months. We went out yesterday to a pub for something to eat, at lunchtime. When we got there, the table next to us hadn't been cleared yet and there was quite a bit of food left on plates. I asked him what he wanted to eat for lunch, and he said he would just eat some leftover toast and sausages from the uncleared table. I thought he was joking and laughed. But he actually meant it. He took two pieces of left over, cold toast and some sausages and proceeded to eat them, with no plate. I said I would buy him lunch and he didn't need to eat leftovers! He said he couldn't stand wasted food. I ordered my own lunch and ate it, alone, as he had already gobbled up the leftovers from the people who had left. Would this put you off someone? Or should I more be accommodating?! In all honesty, it made me feel very uncomfortable and I found it very unattractive. How would this make you feel, can I ask? Look forward to hearing what people think. For context, he has never done this before, but has alluded to wanting to do it when we've been to other places. I asked him yesterday if he was worried that someone's saliva might be on the leftover food, but he said he couldn't care less.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

3720 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
2%
You are NOT being unreasonable
98%
OvaHere · 07/11/2023 21:30

DH and his mates used to do this as pauper students in the 80s. They'd go travelling on a shoestring and when funds were running low they'd hoover up leftovers in service stations.

However I don't think any of them have done it as grown men with jobs and definitely not when on dates.

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Canisaysomething · 07/11/2023 21:33

passiveaggressivenonsense · 07/11/2023 08:39

Well considering that a pig died to make those sausages and intensive food production and excessive food waste is wrecking the planet, I think we should all be a little less precious. It wouldn't bother me at all if my date did that.

He has found his match! There’s someone for everyone I suppose.

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Runki · 07/11/2023 21:33

@CaramelMac ha ha this made me laugh a lot...thank you! It would almost be worth it just to see what other depths he will stoop to, yes. Bring his own sarnies to the pub while I buy myself a roast dinner, perhaps?! Could be the start of something really special. 😉

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MrsQTip · 07/11/2023 21:35

Runki · 06/11/2023 23:04

@MrsQTip I'm afraid it is is real and I wish I could say that it wasn't! I haven't been able to stop thinking about it!

Oh well okay…..sorry. I would not be planning any more dates though….if it was me, life is too short etc

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mandlerparr · 07/11/2023 21:36

There is a big difference between not liking to see waste and eating off others plates that you don't even know. At least take it to go and claim it is for your dog/cat/the neighbor's pigs.

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Devora13 · 07/11/2023 21:50

Okay, 'Couldn't care less' shows no interest or concern for your feelings. Also, regardless of the hygiene and meanness issues (which are major considerations in any case), I wouldn't feel good going for lunch with someone and ending up eating on my own, that's hugely uncomfortable and inconsiderate.

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Mummyexpat · 07/11/2023 21:52

@Katbum exactly my thoughts! Bit ick, obviously, but I’d be more bothered about being left to eat alone and the weird dynamic this would cause. 😳

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SamW98 · 07/11/2023 21:54

And this is a pretty new relationship where you’re still at the honeymoon stage? Absolutely no. This would have me running for the hills

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Tessabelle74 · 07/11/2023 21:59

Nope, he'd be long gone! Putting your own leftovers in the fridge for later is one thing, eating random shit from a table when you have no idea why it's been left is repulsive 🤢

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JMSA · 07/11/2023 22:00

Holy shit, tell me this didn't actually happen! Grin

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OhcantthInkofaname · 07/11/2023 22:02

2% of the people voting are batshit crazy.

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LittleMonks11 · 07/11/2023 22:10

SamW98 · 07/11/2023 21:54

And this is a pretty new relationship where you’re still at the honeymoon stage? Absolutely no. This would have me running for the hills

If this is his honeymoon stage I dread to think what his comfy stage is.

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Mouldyfoodhelp · 07/11/2023 22:16

Left over food from a date you've been with for a while is one thing, maybe some may call me a germaphobe but I just couldn't get past thinking that the other person could have had/ done anything with it. I also think it looks pretty bad.

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Ahsoka2001 · 07/11/2023 22:19

If you break up with him do it cause YOU want to, not because Mumsnet tells you to.

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Mumof3confused · 07/11/2023 22:42

Does he have any other erm…unusual habits?

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catduckgoose · 07/11/2023 22:55

Disgusting 🤢 I'm retching thinking about it

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MeanWeedratStew · 07/11/2023 23:04

I’m glad you’re able to see the funny side of this, OP. Initially, I wanted you to dump him immediately, but now I kind of want you to hold out for a few weeks so you can regale us with whatever shitty, bargain-basement Christmas present he gives you. 😄

And then dump him in the new year, obviously, because life’s too short to spend it with a tightwad.

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Yourcatisnotsorry · 07/11/2023 23:36

This is hilarious. I hate waste and have taken leftover open bottles of wine from other abandoned tables at weddings but even I wouldn’t eat randomers food scraps. Bin the weirdo you really don’t know where his mouth has been.

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Darlingx · 08/11/2023 00:44

LittleMonks11

It was the unsold ones so not half eaten .

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AhBiscuits · 08/11/2023 06:14

My friend's neighbour once gave her a glass of red wine from an open bottle they'd found on the floor outside sainsburys. Didn't tell her until after. When they did tell her it was because they were chuffed and bragging about getting free wine. 'Almost a full bottle!'

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Greenfinch7 · 08/11/2023 06:22

I actually think this is kind of cool. Uneaten toast or bread in a basket, clearly untouched? I have often thought it is sad to waste that.
If the person is tight with money and that is why he is doing it, I would hate that, but if it is to avoid wasting perfectly good food, and done with humour- I might find that interesting and amusing.

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BMrs · 08/11/2023 06:38

Oh god no. When I read your title I presumed he was eating your leftover food. Yikes

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readingrocks · 08/11/2023 06:39

My DH is very into zero waste etc etc We have virtually no leftovers, any old veg gets turned into soup etc etc But DH knows that there is a line and would never do this. I am afraid this is just disgusting, makes one feel quite ill. You don't know who was coughing and sneezing over that food, playing with it (remember what we used to do with school dinners anyone?). I wonder if this zeal transfers into other areas of his life - ie heating off and very little use of the washing machine... run!

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Sueveneers · 08/11/2023 06:51

That is absolutely disgusting! I would tell him you're seriously turned off him, have the ick and say no woman would be attracted to a man who does that. It's absolutely filthy dirty.

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Lulu1919 · 08/11/2023 06:52

That's just odd

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