Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not sit down with this colleague?

225 replies

Bella60 · 05/11/2023 20:21

Okay, so had to name change for this one! Last year I was in a temporary management position at my school (I’m an English teacher) and part of my role was to promote whole-school literacy. I implemented a vocabulary online programme to KS3; I held parent assemblies about reading; I created monthly newsletters based around reading and book recommendations; I held a book club each week; visited other schools and did other stuff in the quest to improve literacy in the school and I had data to prove these things were starting to make an impact. Anyway, the Head then decided they wanted a ‘whole-school literacy lead’ so I applied for the position along with a science teacher. The science teacher got the job. Honestly, I’m fine about it because in hindsight it’s a mammoth task. The stuff I was doing was fun but the job description was huge! Last week, the science teacher who got the job asked for a sit down so she can go through all the things I did last year regarding literacy because she and SLT are keen to continue what I was doing. She said in the email she was also keen to hear what ideas I have for the future. So, I emailed back and gave her my contacts for the vocab builder platform and recommended a zoom call with them. I listed the things I had done last year and talked about what worked well but didn’t agree to meet her. Now SLT are turning up the heat and insisting I meet with her telling me that because I’m an English teacher I’m more knowledgeable about literacy and it’s ’my duty’ to support her and the school. (They actually said those words) WTAF?? I’m normally really laid back and will help anyone but I feel there’s a line here- I’m thinking if I wasn’t good enough for the position then why now are my ideas good enough?? What do you think? Am I being out of order by not sitting down with this teacher or should I stand my ground and say no?

OP posts:
KvotheTheBloodless · 05/11/2023 20:24

Yeah, that's really cheeky - surely if she got the role on merit she'd have her own ideas?

I think they didn't give you the role because they naively thought you'd go on doing it all for free, alongside all the other stuff - they're now realising that it's far too much for one member of staff alone, and are trying to force you to step up for zero pay.

Sparklesocks · 05/11/2023 20:27

I’d be tempted to go down the weaponised incompetence route, meet with her but say I don’t have any new ideas beyond the ones Ive already implemented/shared - but best of luck, I’m sure as the literacy lead you will come up with some…😉

BorisIsACuntWaffle · 05/11/2023 20:29

Yanbu. But not unusual in schools. Arse holes

Original poster
Bella60 · 05/11/2023 20:29

It is cheeky isn’t it? I’m not going mad am I?? The way I’ve been made to feel this week has really made me feel like I’m been totally unreasonable. Thank you for your reply x

OP posts:
Reddishraddish · 05/11/2023 20:30

but this is a task you have been asked to do during your working hours for the benefit of the students, so YABU not to do it. Schools rely on team work to get the best for the children.

If you are being sked to do it at the weekend, I see your point, but otherwise, just do it

Original poster
Bella60 · 05/11/2023 20:30

@Sparklesocks my husband said to do this actually.

OP posts:
Mirackleeus · 05/11/2023 20:30

I think I would politely word it as your final section says. You've supported her by email but she got the job on merit so it's best for her to implement her ideas. After all, if yours were that good they would have won you the job.

truroballbag · 05/11/2023 20:32

YANBU. They gave her the job. I think they assumed you'd go along with it for free and they'd get a 2 for 1 deal

Not your circus, not your monkeys. Head down and move on 😊

justalittlesnoel · 05/11/2023 20:32

You've already shared all of your resources! That's more than enough.

Id go the other way and have the sit down. Say you're so excited they're taking over the mammoth mammoth task, you're excited for someone who knows what they want to do to have the "official" role and you know they're going to impress the SLT. Tell them there's no new ideas from you at the moment but that you're looking forward to supporting them in this new direction!

EmmaDilemma5 · 05/11/2023 20:33

YANBU and they must realise this.

I'd meet with her and just nod along and say you're sorry but you're out of ideas. If she pushes, I'd say you're not confident of your ideas anymore as you went for the role and didn't get it so you don't think you're the right person to be setting the objectives. You wish her luck in the role and leave it there.

Legoblockskillfeet · 05/11/2023 20:34

I would agree to meet with her, within my directed time and when cover is provided. I would go through what was done last year and that is IT. If she asks about ideas going forward- you don't have any others and are sure that the ideas that she presented at interview will be great.

ABCXYZ17 · 05/11/2023 20:34

You’ve done your bit by having a handover. I would have the meeting and simply say ‘I don’t actually have any ideas as I haven’t been thinking about it as I am no longer responsible for whole school literacy. Why don’t you tell me your ideas?’. Then nod along to what they say and if they ask what you think give a vague ‘that sounds fine’ response. Make sure your name goes not go next to any actions.

Original poster
Bella60 · 05/11/2023 20:34

@Reddishraddish sorry, I should have said, this was part of my role last year but because that position was temporary, I’m not required to do anything with it this year. I’m back to ‘just being a teacher’ but some of those things are still running. I was told the science teacher had ‘forward-thinking’ ideas about literacy which is why she got the job so I’m now wondering why all my ideas are wanting to be continued.

OP posts:
AppleDumplingWithCustard · 05/11/2023 20:35

Similar thing here. When I was nursing my first sister’s post was as a relief sister, going where needed to cover wards in regular sisters absence. A permanent sisters post came up on a ward I knew well as had been a staff nurse there. I duly applied and wasn’t even shortlisted. They appointed somebody who made a dreadful mess of things and asked me to go and work alongside her to support. I told them where to go in much more polite language that I felt like using! 🤬

Bluevelvetsofa · 05/11/2023 20:35

Yes it is cheeky, but it isn’t surprising. I’d tell her that you used all the ideas you had last year and you are looking forward to see how she can develop them and add her own. It’s very demoralising to have done a good job, not get the credit for it and be asked to support someone they have decided is more worthy than you. I’ve been there, I feel for you.

GrumpyPanda · 05/11/2023 20:36

Reddishraddish · 05/11/2023 20:30

but this is a task you have been asked to do during your working hours for the benefit of the students, so YABU not to do it. Schools rely on team work to get the best for the children.

If you are being sked to do it at the weekend, I see your point, but otherwise, just do it

No it's not! OP held a temporary position which is now finished, so presumably is back to her normal teaching duties. Anything extra on the project would be over and beyond, and it wouldn't even be her who gets the credit for it.

echt · 05/11/2023 20:36

It's an absolute pisser. However. You developed all the literacy work as an employee of the school so none of it is your intellectual property. You do have to sit down and talk with this colleague. Make sure you watermark all documents, and don't meet in your own time.

Having a non-English teacher leading whole-school literacy is a smart move on the part of SLT as it's a way of literacy not being sidelined.

What this person should be doing is forming a literacy committee with reps from all the subject areas. One you won't be putting your hand for (yep, saw that preposition)

Oh, and nothing, absolutely nothing will happen about whole school-literacy without the active support of SLT. I've done this so I know from bitter experience.

nibblessquibbles · 05/11/2023 20:36

EmmaDilemma5 · 05/11/2023 20:33

YANBU and they must realise this.

I'd meet with her and just nod along and say you're sorry but you're out of ideas. If she pushes, I'd say you're not confident of your ideas anymore as you went for the role and didn't get it so you don't think you're the right person to be setting the objectives. You wish her luck in the role and leave it there.

Perfect!

Original poster
Bella60 · 05/11/2023 20:37

@Mirackleeus .. I was told she had ‘forward-thinking’ ideas which impressed SLT. I’m just shocked at the aftermath of it all!

OP posts:
Original poster
Bella60 · 05/11/2023 20:38

@EmmaDilemma5 this a great response and very true! Thank you.

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 05/11/2023 20:38

I'm the first to help out colleagues, but this is beyond cheeky of them.

I'd just have the sit down and not give any new ideas and be vague about the old ones.

sonjadog · 05/11/2023 20:39

I would also go for meeting her, being friendly and enthusiastic, but having no new ideas to contribute.

CaineRaine · 05/11/2023 20:39

EmmaDilemma5 · 05/11/2023 20:33

YANBU and they must realise this.

I'd meet with her and just nod along and say you're sorry but you're out of ideas. If she pushes, I'd say you're not confident of your ideas anymore as you went for the role and didn't get it so you don't think you're the right person to be setting the objectives. You wish her luck in the role and leave it there.

This is perfect, cheeky sods!

AppleKatie · 05/11/2023 20:40

I was told she had ‘forward-thinking’ ideas which impressed SLT-

AKA she bullshits at interview better than you.

shame she doesn’t actually do the role better than you.

I would meet with her OP but I wouldn’t be helpful beyond a polite bland smile.

museumum · 05/11/2023 20:40

I don’t think meeting with her is a big deal. It’s better she builds on what you did than reinvents the wheel. But that’s where it ends. 20mins of your time for a chat is no biggie. Just don’t get talked into anything more than that (except what any English teacher is expected to do in support of literacy).

Swipe left for the next trending thread