Man in ladies loo (with little daughter)

[CallmePaul]

Hello Mumsnet, 1st poster here.

So I'm the man in question here, my 4yr old girl needed the loo in a big store today, went into the men's, stinky & horrible & the only 1 available cubicle is engaged, the disabled one is locked & my little one is busting.
I opened the ladies door, wow much nicer than the men's! I asked loudly if it was OK if a man came in with his little girl to the loo, got an OK from a cubicle, business attended to.

Washing her & my hands afterwards I got a pretty loud tut & mumble of humph womans toilets, from a lady who just entered, I get it, I'm a bloke in a ladies loos, I really shouldn't be in there.

I've never taken her in the ladies before, always the men's & some pretty nasty loos at times.

So acceptable behaviour from me or was I out of order?

And as for wow much nicer than the men's!

That's not always the case, they often stink of piss just like most public toilets, especially if they're not being cleaned very often.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this. Some folk just have a stick up their butt. Don’t worry about it.

I see no issue. It's a shame more shops don't have a parent & child facility tho

It really wouldn't worry me if I were there as long as you had your daughter with you. If you were on your own, I wouldn't be happy. I wouldn't want your daughter going into the men's loos.

I can’t wound up about this to be honest.although a few people seem to find it unacceptable so it may have been better if you had hovered by the main door (open) and explained that you were looking out for your young daughter to anyone that was coming in? At 4 she should be able to manage the loo on her own with just a reminder to wash her hands?

Yanbu...dh needed the toilet today for you know and no proper toilet so had to use the disabled as didn't feel he could use the ladies. In your situation I totally understand.... although as a man standing outside checking with door open be what dh would do

I don't see the problem, my ex was a single dad for 5 years and how else would he take her to the loo?

I would have been absolutely fine with this given the situation and that you checked first

You always use the parents gender loo, you did the right thing calling out to make sure it was ok and I’m sure it won’t be a regular thing.
I’ve had to go into the gents with my son before, sometimes it’s unavoidable.

Wouldnt have bothered me. By the time she is 6 or 7 i would be sending her in and waiting outside though.

Also

Mum's take their young boys into the ladies all the time ...

My dd is too small to get on the seat so wouldn't be able to go in on her own.

But yeah anyway, @LolaSmiles has nailed it.

Very interesting first post mate.

I couldn't care less - do what you need to do.

But that's the thing, you don't speak for everyone. One woman can;t decide another woman's boundaries.

I spoke to someone who had to use a 'gender neutral' toilet, a man walked in, she froze. Past abuse. You might be fine, some people would not be.

DH managed to mange DD without using women's toilets. And I love the 'men's toilets are disgusting' posts. You know who made them that way, right? It wasn't women.

I would be fine with it.

I'd be making a complaint to the store that you felt the gent's was stinky and horrible and not fit to take any child into regardless of which sex your child is and you are .

Disabled toilets are now called accessible toilets so people who need easier access or more room for example pushchairs etc can go in. I often let fathers take their daughter's into the accessible toilets as the male toilets can be grim and not really a place for little girls.

OP just ask staff to use the accessible toilets next time.

My small but otherwise developmentally standard 5yo DS can't use adult-size toilets because he can't reach, so does require adult assistance - I can't believe he's the only one

Why? Just why! are men’s toilets so disgusting?!
it seems, as always that women have to give up their spaces because of men’s failings.
As you have a young daughter, perhaps you should be campaigning to shame men into cleaning up their acts so that men can take their young daughters to the loo without making women strangers feel fearful or embarrassed.

I think it's absolutely fine when you're with your daughter.

I would not be fine with this...

I don't think a 4 year old can manage in a public toilet, no. They probably can't lock the door, reach the toilet roll, reach the wash basin or even open the big heavy outer door. They could end up stuck in there!

My DD is 7 and while she goes to toilet on her own at school in many public toilets the sinks are too high for her to wash her hands properly, so couldn't go in alone. When with her dad he uses the men's but doesn't like doing it as the toilet seat is often not clean.

Also, all these "I bet she goes at school"

School toilets are designed for little children. They are lower toilets that they can climb on to, smaller so they can comfortably sit on them and then the sinks are smaller so they can reach them

Not the same.