Man in ladies loo (with little daughter)

[CallmePaul]

Hello Mumsnet, 1st poster here.

So I'm the man in question here, my 4yr old girl needed the loo in a big store today, went into the men's, stinky & horrible & the only 1 available cubicle is engaged, the disabled one is locked & my little one is busting.
I opened the ladies door, wow much nicer than the men's! I asked loudly if it was OK if a man came in with his little girl to the loo, got an OK from a cubicle, business attended to.

Washing her & my hands afterwards I got a pretty loud tut & mumble of humph womans toilets, from a lady who just entered, I get it, I'm a bloke in a ladies loos, I really shouldn't be in there.

I've never taken her in the ladies before, always the men's & some pretty nasty loos at times.

So acceptable behaviour from me or was I out of order?

Obviously you don't go in the women's toilets as a man.

Interesting first post though.

I agree it’s not ideal but if my 4 year old needs the loo I’m taking him wherever is available! Sounds like it was unavoidable and I wouldn’t worry about it at all

It’s fine. They are cubicles and your daughter needed to use it. Men’s loos are foul. I would much rather my daughters use the women’s loos!

Sounds fine to me too. Don't worry about it.

I think sometimes when you are with a child that needs the toilet you just do what you have to do.

My daughter went in the men's when accompanied by her father. At 4 she could go into the women's alone while he waited outside.

I would be very unimpressed by seeing you in there.

I’d understand as a woman. I’ve had to shout into blokes loos before entering before when my son has been way too long and I’ve worried. Before anyone comes at me I’ve been abused previously and understand about safe spaces but I’d also rather see a bloke in there at the basins than a young child be upset that they’ve wet themselves

It’s not fine. Use the mens.

It's certainly not ideal so I wouldn't say its fine but if there really was no other option and you knocked first I'd say it was the lesser of evils.

I'd have been fine with this given you were with a bursting 4 year old

Men go into women's loos all the time

They're called cleaners...

You were doing what was best for your daughter. That's fine.

4 year olds cannot negotiate a toilet/hand washing by themselves?
gents bogs are no place for a little girl.
it isn’t ‘fine’ at all

interesting first post, mumsnetters

If the cubicle in the men's was busy, she needs to learn to wait.

You can't just pick a toilet to suit, especially not the disabled loos.

Not OK. Use the mens.

You did what you needed to do and asked first, she’s too little to go in on her own and the men’s sound awful. There needs to be more individual toilets suitable for all to use.

I don’t see the problem. I wouldn’t have been happy to see you there on your own but no issue with a man a child using the facilities.

Wasn't impressed last week when I tried to use a restaurant loo and the ladies was occupied by a man and his daughter. My young dses can cope with the men's so I'm sure your daughter can

The child is 4. She has been using the toilet at school or nursery unaccompanied presumably. You could have sent her in alone while you waited outside.

You take her to the men’s or wait for the accessible facilities. The men’s being a bit smelly isn’t reason to use the women’s.

You're right. You shouldn't be in there.

I'd have been fine with this.

It’s not ideal so I’d say keep it as a last resort. But in an emergency situation it really wouldn’t bother me personally.

She is FOUR!

Even as adults, sometimes when we have to go, we have to go!

And more places are going for "Accessible Toilets" over "Disabled Toilets" to make it clear they are for anyone who needs it. Which would include a parent with a small child of the opposite sex....

I think given the fact you called I to the ladies loos first to check it was okay, then it was okay.

I have girls and I wouldn't want them using foul mens toilets but at 4 they couldn't have managed the ladies loos by themselves.

The key is that you didn't assume you could use the ladies, you called in first.

Totally agree. Women’s toilets are for women and girls. A four-year-old, provided they have no disabilities or learning disabilities, can toilet on their own: they do it at school. Please stop invading our spaces. Also, the disabled toilets are for disabled people.