DH and his fucking chilli

[Humpfree]

DH smothers everything in chilli, even though he can’t handle spicy food himself. Everytime he makes chicken it’s smothered in chilli and ends up where neither of us can eat it. He does it every fucking time!!!

Tonight he decided to randomly make some roast potatoes as a snack 🫤 to said I didn’t want any and he got all l offended so I said if you make cheesy potatoes I’ll eat them … so that’s what he did. He’s spent over an hour and a half making these fucking things … they smelt nice, all covered in melted cheese - lovely! Except when I bit into one my mouth was suddenly on fire. Yep, he’s smothered then in chilli. We now have a full bowl of cheesy potatoes sat there that neither of us can eat. I ask why he does this and he doesn’t answer me! I think it’s so weird. It would be different if he loved spicy food but he can’t tolerate it any better than I can!

what a waste

…but he can’t eat the food either.

Chuck the chilli out then he can't use it!

Sorry but I agree with pps that that's just bit thick...

Simply stop having chilies at home. Who the fuck uses scotch bonnet when they can't eat spicy🤦 That's just... Not a genes one should be multiplying🤦

Early sign of dementia?

This is, as everyone has said, really weird. Really, really weird.

Does he find your reaction funny? Does he perhaps think it's amusing to trick you into eating something you hate?

Is he unemployably stupid? Or in some other way incapable of remembering simple things like "if I use this ingredient, my wife won't be able to eat the meal?" (I know he can't either, but that's his problem not yours.)

I can see how he might want to be the kind of guy who can eat fancy hot chillis and cook manly BBQs, although he obviously isn't that person and I'd personally find it deeply unattractive. But even if that's what he wants to be, that doesn't explain why he thinks it's ok to inflict it on you.

He's either got something wrong with his brain, which probably could do with professional assessment, or he's cruel. He can't, by now, be unaware of the issue, unless he's irredeemably stupid (or you haven't actually said anything to him about not liking spicy food, but this doesn't sound like it's the case).

I don't know if I could carry on living with someone who insisted on treating me like this. It's not ok.

You might need to take the approach of exposure therapy, but the flooding kind...

You can buy something called Psycho Serum (it's on amazon). It's so spicy that chilli heads are advised to only put the very tip of a toothpick in for crazy heat.

You can dissolve it in a little boiling water, and he won't know it's there. Next time he cooks, rush in at the last minute and say, 'Oh darling, you cooked, sit down and relax and I'll dish up and clean up afterwards.'

Then discreetly mix it into his food before serving. He'll be expecting spicy but he won't expect his stomach lining to go on fire or the um... other consequences. He'll think it was a 'reaction' to the scotch bonnets and will never buy them again!

😆 😆 😆

Has he seen somebody cooking/ taken an interest in cooking and assumed that for food to taste nice you need to season with chilli. Does he use other seasonings? Maybe suggest other seasonings to use - " ooh roast potatoes with sea salt and rosemary are nice" or whatever you like.

Maybe cooking lessons for Christmas? He obviously wants to cook

To be fair, at some point we all didn't eat spicy (when kids, etc)

Many cultures do.

But clearly not OP's husband.

(1) Do you have children, and is he feeding this to them too?

(2) Is he uploading these as 'youtube pranks'?

He sounds like a caveman, urgh me bbq in rain, urgh me tough man eat the spicy food. He’s either thick as shit or he’s trying to prove his manliness, either way; vagina drying stuff here. The ick is strong.

Prepare meals for yourself and put them in individual portions in the freezer. Label them as things he wouldn't like (spinach puree, etc.) Whenever he plays silly buggers like this, let him go hungry, and defrost yourself something.

In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he has a sneaky sandwich or something for himself when he deliberately ruins meals.

Do you both normally go hungry after this? Do YOU end up cooking something else?

I don't understand why he would do it either OP, strange behaviour.

*Note to many people in this thread...the plural of chilli is chillies (or chillis) - not chilli's. Ok back to pedant's corner I go.

I love chillies though, I think chilli potatoes sound good!

At this juncture, I can't take your posts seriously.

as per a previous poster "why are you not hitting the roof?"

you sound quite passive in terms of actually doing something about this, which is almost as weird as your DH lacing everything you eat in chilli.

Bizarre.

I bbq in rain😂 and February... And always...

I thought of two more things.

(1) I read something a while ago about how some men, when they want to end a relationship don't have the balls to sit down and say 'lets call it a day'. They don't want to be the bad guy. So they behave more and more unreasonably until you bin them off. Could be that?

OR

(2) Is he from a culture (or has one parent from such a culture) which eats spicy food, but he grew up fairly anglicised/not eating spicy, and he's trying to 'reclaim' that part of his heritage.

If he's insisting he cooks then I'd be telling him very clearly at the outset that if a chilli goes anywhere near the food I'll be eating then he'll be wearing it on his head - and go through with it.

My own husband has certain obsessions - mowing the grass every few days and having stripes in it (we don't even have a perfect lawn) is one, and washing cars is the other. Before he became ill he would wash his car every couple of days, and woe betide if it had the tiniest speck of dirt on it. I'm sure the neighbours would look and think "that weirdo is out washing his car again". Unfortunately he's never had the same sense of cleanliness in the house and is shit at doing housework.

Yep - what they said.

Is he always very hard of thinking?

If this is true, it sounds like thinly disguised aggression.

I remember hearing / reading something about liking spicy food having something to do with how you like your sex life or some random 'fact' like that.

Maybe he's trying to spice things up not just in the kitchen.

keep emergency yogurt in the fridge?.
I made a batch of soup with too much chilli, but its fine with a spoon of yogurt in.

Probably sends a better message not to eat it though

Is it a macho thing? - he wants to be the sort of man who buys and eats these really spicy chilis like all these guys on hot sauce review shows. And he’s also an eternal optimist.

He needs to try a bit harder - you can definitely train yourself to eat spicier food. Make him eat those potatoes up.

He came back with vindaloo which neither of us could eat. It drives me insane. I’ve asked him again just now why he does it and he just makes a joke of it but it’s such a pointless waste of food

@Humpfree I bet you he does it because he thinks it’s endearing and funny. The fact that he can make a joke of it suggests that you haven’t (rightfully) handed him his arse when he does do it. I wouldn’t find it funny to continuously waste food and money in this way, regardless of how much money I had. If it actually bothers you, sit him down and tell him in very clear terms. Also tell him that he has had enough chances to master the use of chilli and if after a single mouthful you taste a hint of chilli, you will bin the food and order a takeaway without a word. And stay true to your head - resolve to never have a conversation about it again and simply bin.

Who makes roast potatoes as a random snack?

Does he like watching cooking things stuff on social media? There are heaps of stuff about chillis particularly the really hot ones that could be influencing him. It’s almost like a macho thing to try them and build up your tolerance.

Neither of you like chilli.

Throw out all chilli. Go through the fridge and pantry and remove it all. Never purchase chilli sauce again.