DH and his fucking chilli

[Humpfree]

DH smothers everything in chilli, even though he can’t handle spicy food himself. Everytime he makes chicken it’s smothered in chilli and ends up where neither of us can eat it. He does it every fucking time!!!

Tonight he decided to randomly make some roast potatoes as a snack 🫤 to said I didn’t want any and he got all l offended so I said if you make cheesy potatoes I’ll eat them … so that’s what he did. He’s spent over an hour and a half making these fucking things … they smelt nice, all covered in melted cheese - lovely! Except when I bit into one my mouth was suddenly on fire. Yep, he’s smothered then in chilli. We now have a full bowl of cheesy potatoes sat there that neither of us can eat. I ask why he does this and he doesn’t answer me! I think it’s so weird. It would be different if he loved spicy food but he can’t tolerate it any better than I can!

what a waste

I’m sorry but with each of your updates, this becomes more hilarious. I’m just imagining somebody cutting up three peppers seeds and all to stick in cheesy potatoes. Is he Caribbean OP? Is it an attempt to connect to roots or something.

He shouldn’t be doing this to you. When he’s cooking for himself, if he just wants the flavour than he uses 1 whole to flavour something saucy (do not allow to burst and it must be removed at the end) or 1/5 of a pepper no seeds super small pieces for a dish that feeds 4/5 people who aren’t good with spice.

Manly cooking mode = cooking for fun only, with special macho ingredients or outdoors using actual flames. No requirement for food to be edible. Performance points to your DH for hottest chilies used and/or braving extreme weather conditions.

Default cooking mode: OP’s meals that are expected to be nice, provided regularly and with minimal fuss.

Is this generally how it goes in your house OP?

Agreed!! I’d rid the house of chilli powder, chilli flakes and any form of chilli! Do not buy any and if he does, flush it down the toilet/pour it down the sink immediately! Tell him he’s never to do this again and if he manages somehow to smuggle chilli on anything he cooks, I’d faceplant him into it every time! 😂

This isn’t cute or funny, it’s really strange. Does he have a problem with food? Eg is he purposely sabotaging his meal so he won’t eat it, maybe potentially lose weight? It’s the equivalent of spilling a bunch of salt in your drink - yes the drink is technically still there to consume but it’d be off-putting enough to drink that you wouldn’t bother.

Why does he keep tampering with his food?

Is it a trophy or something for him to be able to eat spicy food? I know people joke about those that can’t handle spicy food, but it’s not that serious. Who is he trying to impress?

Agreed 100%!! I’d not put up with this, he’s clearly playing mind games. I’d tell him if he does it again, you’ll force feed it to him every fucking time! This would be a dealbreaker for me. He can’t be lovely and do this on a weekly basis, ruining your food! He sounds like either a total DICKHEAD or has such a huge ego that he can’t admit he can’t fucking cook!
I’d ban him from the kitchen and dispose of all the chilli!

This wouldn’t work if he’s purposely buying spicy vindaloo ready meals - the heat is already in the food, that’s not him adding powder , flakes or sauce

Firstly I'm stunned that anyone who doesn't like hot stuff is buying fresh scotch bonnets. Is he using the seeds & 'pith' too? Also, he's using them wrong & that just makes my teeth itch. They have a beautiful, citrussy fresh flavour, amazing with fruit & salads.

And he used a whole one for two ppl that don't like hot stuff?

If he really wants to add chilli to stuff then there are plenty of options that are really flavoursome but much less hot. Get him to look at The Cool Chile Co at things like arbol, Ancho & guajillo. Try Chipotle en adobo with the cheesy potatoes - nice heat & phenomenal flavour. There are plenty of options out there so he can explore that aren't scotch bonnets.

😂 please do this and report back. His behaviour around this is really bat shit, maybe you need to respond to the crazy with your own crazy.

@Humpfree OP, very simple solution... just tell him if he doesn't stop, you will rub it on a sensitive area of choice (near his eyes for example - obv don't do this, just threaten) while he is asleep.

TicTacNicNak · Yesterday 20:56

Rub the chillis on the inside of his underpants. When he complains you can say you're following his lead and smothering everything in chilli.

Ha hah! Love it! But deny all knowledge...

I think the obvious question is if neither of you can or like eating chillies, then why do you keep buying them?

As others have suggested, throw them all in the bin and in future stop wasting food.

Op's husband

%3D

He sounds like an attention-seeking ten year old.

Either that, or he's quite nasty and enjoys tormenting you.

Neither of those options is great OP. 😔

😂

I'd try talking to him like he's a toddler.

He cooks food.

You: DH is there chilli in this?

Him: Yes

You: No thank you. I don't like food with chilli in.

Make clear eye contact and speak slowly.

Then make yourself something else and don't engage any further with his behaviour.

When he makes something without chilli, lots of praise and encouragement.

I'd just go nuclear and tell him if he buys another fucking chilli it's going up his arse

And mean it

Jamie Oliver has some questions to answer regarding chilies

He's a bit of a twat isn't he 🙄

I love spicy food, though can’t eat it anymore for health reasons 😞. I’m not sure why your DH does this @Humpfree.

If he’s wanting to up his chilli game, in terms of eating it, he needs to start small, so cheese on toast topped with paprika, or cooking a curry using 1 small chilli (Birds Eye).

But we always ate spicy, hot food even as young children (Punjabi), and in a biryani, I will do 1kg meat and rice, potatoes and put 20 Birds Eye chilli in, but then we eat very, very spicy food.

I tend to use half a scotch bonnet per kg of meat for stuff like jerk chicken.

Could you suggest to DH to start small, like the cheese on toast and allow you both to become more used to the heat?

As an aside, vindaloo pre-made from the supermarket isn’t spicy.

Could you make lassi (yogurt drink) to go with it? And always have rice and salad.

If the food is too spicy, mix small amounts with rice to dampen the heat, have salad made from watery veggies like cucumber and drink the lassi.

Would you be amenable to turning the potatoes into another couple of meals, such as using a couple of them in a stew, or in a savoury mince?

Oh fuck it. Stick him in the bin and chuck his spicy potatoes right over his head once he's in it. Then remove the source of anything spicy. What absolute knobhead ruins food for two people just for the sake of it? Fucking weirdo. Marinate the inside of a condom in Tabasco sauce. See how he fucking likes it then.

He's a dipshit.
Simple.

He's using chilli to disguise the taste of something else....🚑

I had been thinking that the OP could chew a very small piece of a scotch bonnet and then give DH a blowjob.

I'm really interested to know OP, what does he actually say when the food he's prepared isn't even edible to him?

I'd be sitting and insisting he finishes it all personally.

Spicy food and BBQing are things that are associated with ‘manliness’ in some circles. Is he trying to explore that because he thinks it’s something he should do even if he doesn’t enjoy it?