Caused a major fallout with inlaws

[WomanManChildDogCat]

Buckle up, it’s a long one…
Every year DH and I host his parents for Christmas Day. We have done for 10+ yrs. Sometimes BIL has also come but not since he got with his partner 4yrs ago (SIL). This year BIL and SIL offered to host PIL for Christmas. Great, no problem. In fact I wanted to go to my parents in another country so works out perfectly.
They are also hosting their adult daughter and her partner and SIL’s parents.
BIL and SIL usually come to us for a weekend in November or December. We all live hours apart so don’t see much of each other through the year.
So this year, we were invited to go to theirs for a weekend, last weekend.
We went and had a lovely weekend. Mostly.
On arrival I noted that they had changed their bathroom since we were last there a few months ago. They explained that they had had drainage problems so had moved the toilet and outlet pipe. I asked had that sorted the problem and SIL said “Yes we hope so. The smell was dreadful so unless we’ve just gotten used to it, we think the problem is sorted”.
They have one bathroom and a separate toilet downstairs. Our room was next to the bathroom upstairs and on the first night we noticed an awful smell. The bathroom stank, like really public urinals stank. When I went to the toilet I held my breath, it was disgusting. There was no air freshener and no mention from BIL or SIL about the smell.
I said to DH that we should say something, let them know as they must be noseblind to it. He said absolutely not, do not mention it.
Anyway the smell remained and it was so gross that even having a shower in the same room did not dispel it.
On the second night, we were all a bit tipsy and while DH and BIL were in the garden with the dog I said to SIL, really kindly, that I thought maybe their pipes still needed looking at as there was a bit of a whiff in the bathroom. I thought if it was me I’d want to know, especially if I was hosting guests soon. She took it well, seemed a bit surprised and said they would get the plumbers back. She thanked me for mentioning it. We enjoyed the rest of the evening and the next morning went out for a lovely breakfast all together and then we left with lovely goodbyes and see you soons.
We had not even got home when SIL posted on the family Christmas WhatsApp chat “Well, we’re no longer hosting Christmas as apparently our house stinks of piss. Perhaps Womanman will host in their perfect house”.
I was gobsmacked. DH was livid “ I asked you not to say anything”. Before I could respond I was removed from the group chat and SIL not answering my calls. I have messaged to apologise for any offence caused etc but no response.
DH family are furious. They love a bit of drama but I honestly did not think SIL was like that.
Now there is a whole WhatsApp drama going on and I can’t believe I am the cause - I am so not confrontational, I hate it.
I don’t really know what to do.
DH wants nothing to do with it and just keeps saying “I told you not to mention it”.

Bunch of cunts.
Sit back and ignore the lot of them.

Ah, fuck them! Book to spend Christmas with your parents.

I'd ignore too.

Enjoy your Christmas with your parents?

Are your PIL taking their side too. It's awful they removed you from the group

I know what I’d do - piss off (pardon the pun) as planned and leave the drama llamas to it. That’s utterly nuts behaviour.

Well tough shit because you're not hosting either.

So her and her pissy Bathroom can just crack on.

Don't waste another thought on them. They're the ones who've fucked it because now they can't ever come to your house again without resolving it.

You've managed to free yourself of 100% of inlaws with 1 tiny comment!
You should be giving inspirational TED talks.

I'd make sure to reiterate that it doesn't 'stink of piss' it smells like the drains!
If she's taken it like that, then I understand why she's upset. From her reaction though, it sounds like she's got a massive chip on her shoulder!

Sorry, long load of text without paragraghs so hard to get the gist of it.

Bottom line is.

I couldn't be bothered with all that.

Wow, what an unbelievable reaction

What a bunch of boring sensitive bastards.

Tell her to piss off 😂

Don't apologise again.

Lovely breakfast and lovely goodbyes
then a bullshit drama on WhatsApp?? Nah fuck that OP leave em to it

You've apologised.
And that's more than she of the pissy smelling bathroom has.

DH thinks she underestimated how much work is involved in hosting people for Christmas and is using this as an excuse to opt out.
I feel awful because we have have always had a decent relationship with all the family and DH does now want a fall out with his brother or parents.
I’ve spoken to MIL and explained but she is so caught up in the drama that she isn’t being reasonable.
We are going to my parents in Ireland over Christmas but SIL is still adamant that she is having no one so PIL will be on their own. They are perfectly capable but are playing the poor old us card and laying the guilt on DH.
Part of me is not bothered but I so hate drama and arguments and really wish I could undo this.

You haven't done anything. So don't worry at all about your DH losing his family. This is all on them and you do not have to tolerate their poor behaviour because he's pulled the poor me card either!
I'd be telling them that after this you may have to take hosting off the table for good!

👌🏻👌🏻@Wibblywobblylikejelly fantastic 👏
Ted Talks 😂😂
love this !!

Your DH told you to leave it., but no, you conviently told her when he wasn't there under the guise of being slightly tipsy. If your DH didn't feel comfy telling his brother, you overstepped massively.

Yes they are overacting but you set yourself up for this.

I’ve spoken to MIL and explained but she is so caught up in the drama that she isn’t being reasonable.

so PIL will be on their own. They are perfectly capable but are playing the poor old us card and laying the guilt on DH.

IL's can't have it both ways.
Don't buckle through unnecessary guilt.
And don't accept anything less than an apology either.

Honestly why could you not have kept your mouth shut your husband said to you don't mention but you ignored and upset folk sorry but this is on you .I mean maybe your sister may have took it OK yes but your husband's sister inlaw .Honestly stupid

Big step back, don't respond, let it burn out. I think your husband is right and she's trying to wheedle out of hosting - if you just ignore it and don't cave, the whole thing will likely fizzle out.

And enjoy your Christmas in Ireland! If the in laws have Christmas alone now that's entirely their own fault for joining in with this dramatic nonsense and fuelling the fire. You've done nothing wrong.

Depends how you pitched it. You say you told her ‘nicely’; could be that it didn’t come across nicely, but maybe a bit patronising and unkind. Tbh, if it was me, I wouldn’t have mentioned it. It’s not like you’re there every week, you said you don’t stay with them often. I would have just sucked it up. Being critical about someone’s home,when they’re hosting you, just seems a bit rude and unnecessary.

'Don't mention the war' or should I say in this instance 'Don't mention the bog'!

You know what you have to do. Sign them up for post, emails and text from every scented bog product going!

Deny all knowledge of your doing so.

I don't think you did anything wrong!

I would have cheerfully said, "Whats that ruddy awful smell in your bathroom?"

Unless her husband is pissing on the bath mat then if it's a leaking pipe it's nothing to be ashamed of.