To think that most women don't even have high body counts?

[etchedowl]

I read this article in the guardian this morning https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/nov/03/when-andrew-tate-and-the-online-manboys-obsess-over-a-bodycount-girls-you-know-what-to-do which is a reaction to the current misogynistic male obsession with a woman's body count i.e. how many men she has slept with. Firstly I agree with the article that it is a totally misogynistic trope and not to be tolerated. But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Most women I know like myself (now in my early 30's) would have dated and had boyfriend in their teens which mostly they did not have sex with then maybe a boyfriend or two they did sleep with before finally meeting the man they are now married to at some point during university or early 20's.

Most women I know were not out clubbing every week, meeting and sleeping with different men every week or month as the paranoid fantasies of these incel men say but were more likely to be tucked up at home with their long term boyfriends and husbands having a nice meal and watching box sets or even playing scrabble. Even the single women I still know will mostly socialise together at home with going out being the odd time rather than it being a bit never ending smorgasbord of hot men and sex!

Do any of these men actually know any women or do they just believe the absolute drivel they read online by shady men who are ultimately trying to sell them a product by capitalising their insecurity and paranoia?

Please note if there are women out their having a whale of a time having tons of sex then more power to them absolutely no judgement from me. The point of my post it that it seems in no way to me the norm for most women.

Not literally, no. But she’s been utterly unwilling to accept anything other than her experience of having a teenage boyfriend that she didn’t have sex with, followed by one possible sexual dalliance (with the lights off, hopefully!) before meeting Mr Right in your very early 20s and settling down for babies and middle age.

So many posters have said that’s not their reality or that of any of their friends but op still can’t accept that that is a perfectly normal state of affairs. We’ve been told we’re ‘outiers’.

*But Secondly I wonder to myself, who are all these women with large "body counts"?

Do any of these men actually know any women

Most women probably have a 2 or 3 long term boyfriends at most before getting married surely?

I find this so weird though like I am living in a parallel universe because everyone I know did seem to meet and stay with their significant other from a very young age in my family, amongst my university friends.*

Just some quotes from OP's posts .

Not at all , I'm happy to accept her experience and her point of view without calling her an outlier or the kind of women that doesn't actually exist, bar in men's fantasies.

She actually asked who the women having lots of sex are, like they're a fucking narwhal ... something you hear of but can't quite believe they're real.

One can enjoy scrabble AND one night stands

At the same time even.

Strip Scrabble?

I agree but also everyone is so different. It is all about lifestyle and I truly believe that the conversations around being sexually active and very “vocal” about it always overrides anyone with less of a…how can I put it … people who are sexually active but not with so many people.

Compared to my friends I have a low body count - mainly because I’ve only had one sexual partner at a time within a long term relationship. In my 30s I can count them on one hand. Apparently that’s rare.

That lifestyle also doesn’t excite me at all - when I went clubbing or out - I want to come back home or see my partner. I have friends that go out to pull. Whereas I remember bodycount being a huge discussion topic amongst my girlfriends and more sex seemed to come with a social reward. The same with work. If you had more sexual partners you were more impressive than someone that happily admitted to only sleeping with one or two people in their lifetime.

I think it’s something about society and the city life that makes one feel that they need to be out there sexually and it’s normalised. In comparison to let’s say a small conservative neighbourhood/country/culture where actually having a family and focusing on the long term partner holds a social reward.

There are stats that say that less people are having sex within the younger generation.

For me I think everyone should feel comfortable with their sexual preferences. Whether you want to be at it all the time and switch partners to those that genuinely don’t care and are happy with one partner.

In my day women would have been taken to the gates of the city and stoned to death of the bridal sheet was not bloodied.

The women had to stay behind and look after the children, but I would have liked to have gone to a good stoning. It is a shame that we don’t do that to fallen women now adays.

it would be great to have a televised stoning after the watershed after “Love Island”.

I had this thought too 😂
immediately begins to look for the scrabble board

No idea how many I slept with, I didn't keep count. I didn't ask and never would ask a friend - none of my business, but they slept with lots of men on a casual basis, why does it matter?

I have just realised who the "save the men" poster is.

Same. I find it unpleasant. Comes across to me as an angry, anti-sex, phrase.

‘normal’ women aren’t sexual and are happy with one or two sexual partners (that they probably tolerate, rather than enjoy).

As a PP said, OP hasn't said that at all. She's just said that in her experience most women have only had a few partners. That doesn't necessarily have any reflection on how much they enjoy sex at all.

To be fair, she’s copying the article’s word(s) on it. She’s not saying anything new about it anyway. If she wants to be a sheeple then up to her.

In my late teens to mid twenties I didn't want a serious relationship. I didn't want to settle down, have kids, get married etc. But I was still a normal adult who had the same urges and desires as others. I just didn't want to be tied down for a long period of my life to someone purely because I'd explored my sexuality with them. So I opted for short lived FWB relationships or ONS's. I probably amounted sexual partners of about 35-ish (I didn't keep count, this is a rough estimate). But this allowed me to discover what I wanted long term from a permanent partner eventually, both emotionally and physically. By 26 I'd met my life partner and haven't slept with another man since. I'm now 42.

I was never someone obviously 'easy'. I never bragged or told others. I was actually quite private about. In fact, I was often criticised and picked on by both my male and female friends & acquaintances for being far too reserved, picky and uptight. Yet according to this OP, I was positively promiscuous and put it about a fair bit!

Quite frankly, I couldn't give a shit though. I did what suited me, and still do. And other women can do what suits them. The likes of Andrew Tate and INCEL (or the OP) will never make me think or feel otherwise.

I think it's just a humorous turn of phrase. People can either use it to be disparaging like Tate etc, or embrace it.

Didn’t sleep with anyone until around 19, and from the ages of 28-38 slept with about 30, had moved to London working and felt I had the freedom to do what ever I wanted to without being judged, had a great time, I needed to get it out of my system as I was very well behaved before that!

It doesn’t and under different circumstances, I’d fully support any woman who had any level of sexual experience through choice and would never belittle anyone’s experience. But the same hasn’t been the case with op and it’s got a bit old.
Own your experience, be it safely ensconced in a long term relationship/ engagement by the age of 21 or still swinging from the chandeliers in your 40s or 50s with 200 partners under your belt. But don’t tell someone else their experiences aren’t normal - that they are ‘outliers’. That’s where op has gone wrong. I suspect because she actually does think that women who have had multiple sexual partners are immoral - as much as she denies it.
This whole thread has done nothing but highlight the fact that op’s opinions are closer to Andrew Tate’s than she’d care to admit.

I've always been curious - those of you who have had lots of one night stands - are you quite assertive with your partner to ensure you have an orgasm? Or are you one of those lucky women who can orgasm from vaginal intercourse alone?

Because that's something that's always put me off the idea (although I did have one a long time ago)... then again I can see that if your partner cares about your pleasure, then that would probably take care of itself!

@glowfrog I'm lucky enough that PIV is my thing. I don't even like the sensation of receiving oral. But most men now, at least the ones that have a lot of partners, pride themselves (rightly or wrongly) on being good at oral. So if oral's a woman's thing, they'd be happy to oblige. I guess they mightn't be as good as they think they are, though.

For me no and nope. I think I need more of a connection than just a ONS to ensure I orgasm so a lot of the time I just enjoyed the sex but was assertive with what I wanted. ONS to me if they were good increased my confidence about what I liked in bed and my self confidence in general.

But my ONS were in my mid 20s only really.

To be honest I never really thought about the orgasm.

I can only speak for myself but I enjoyed the whole part of it. Going out, meeting someone I liked the look of, the flirting, the dancing, the sexual tension. And then going home with them. I guess it was the thrill of the chase maybe? These men were usually very generous though, possibly more so than long term relationships I’ve been in. Maybe because we were usually drunk so they were more confident to show off of try something new. Or maybe they wanted to leave an impression. If they were a bit selfish I could always give myself a hand, so to speak!

My experience has been that it seems to be very important to the men I sleep with and they tend to ask for a bit of instruction (which obviously I appreciate!)

The thing that annoys me the most about this type of thing, and I apologise for not reading through all 23 pages of comments, 😂 but these guys make such a big fuss over how many people women have slept with, but what about the other way round? Why is it such a big deal for women to have multiple sexual partners and not men? Why are women called slag, or slut yet when men sleep with multiple women it’s considered a rite of passage. These double standards are infuriating. We should start insulting men that sleep around so they get a taste of their own medicine.

Why would anyone ask how many people you’ve been with, and why would you answer? No one’s business