How do you afford stuff for yourself?

[Shouldhavegotthemeatmeatballs]

I remember once upon a time, floating around the shops buying myself clothes, shoes, bags, perfume etc. I work part time now but earn a similar amount and Dh is now on more money, but after I’ve bought everything for Dd (5) for example, this week all the winter bits-coat, boots, pjs, jumpers etc etc, plus getting a few Christmas bits in, there’s just never enough left over. I got myself two jumpers, but that’s it and I need much more. There’s just always so much to buy and that with just one child. I don’t know how people manage. Our mortgage has shot right up, but I have a degree and supposedly good career, do you have money to get yourself a winter wardrobe etc?

You had two salaries covering the costs of two people; now those two salaries cover the living costs of three people.
Realistically what did you think would happen?

I'm just thinking - who the hell buys a 'winter wardrobe'>>????

My winter wardrobe this year has consisted of one new top to wear at xmas do.

Why would you need a full set of new clothes for each season?

I generally only need a few new things each year, and keep stuff from last year. What I do get is usually vinted ect or on offer.

Similar for the kids, though they need more each year as they grow. Each new size I generally get a missive bag of hand me downs, either given or ridiculously cheap (£10-20), then shop for any bits that are missing.

I have a separate account for Christmas/ birthdays, which gets £50/month paid in through the year. Works out as £100 per child per Christmas or birthday, then £100 each on birthday party/ outing. (2 DC, both autumn birthdays)

I could afford to but I don't really. A few years ago I sold most of my clothes and then bought more of a capsule wardrobe; fewer pieces but versatile and good quality. The cost of selling off the clothes I had most of which I hadn't worn for years anyway covered it, now I store summer/winter clothes in vacuum bags so they stay in good condition and don't really buy new things often. For DS aside from coats and shoes as they get tonnes of wear used to buy everything second hand when he was younger as realistically he grew so quickly, you could get cheap stuff that was brilliant quality with lots of life left in it, and it often got dirty anyway!

Your options are to work more hours, consider buying second hand for your little one and selling clothes once they're outgrown, and doing the same for your clothes.

I don't really buy for myself at all. I've put on weight and hardly any of my clothes fit but I just don't have the money or inclination to buy new, I'd rather buy for the kids and make sure they are sorted. If I do buy for myself it is from charity shops or Vinted.
Thankfully my winter clothes from last year still fit so I don't need to buy a new winter wardrobe.

I have only ever bought stuff when it needs replacing and buy good quality items. So when you say winter wardrobe is this a want or a need? There is a huge difference. I have had the same winter coat for 5 years, am I a bit bored of it well yes but it is totally fine so I will not buy another.

I could afford to go out and buy an entire new winter wardrobe no problem but I do not need to so I don’t.

I have some items in my closet that are close to 30 years old, I have a fab tweed jacket that was part of a suit in my suits having to be worn for work wearing days. I wear it with jeans now.

I brought out my winter wardrobe recently. I have bought one new pair of navy tailored trousers and a new pair of knee length boots, plus some new knickers. Spent about £200. I would only spend more than that if I needed a new coat, but mine (one parka, one wool) are very good quality despite their age, and I still love wearing them.

In summer I probably spend slightly less.

I never buy anything that I don’t really love, and that helps me to spend less money overall.

@Shouldhavegotthemeatmeatballs Are you unhappy with what you already have, or do you shop out of boredom?

Are you my alter-ego? I have a 30-year old goose-down filled parka and a 20-year old, absolutely gorgeous black wool coat, and a bright coloured coat that has clocked quite a few winters. So I don't feel I 'need' a new coat - but if I see a wonderful coat in a charity shop that screams 'I want to be yours', I'll buy it - otherwise I won't!

I never buy anything that I don’t really love, and that helps me to spend less money overall.

That's my motto too.

I'm quite frugal when it comes to clothes I make do and mend and only buy things when I've got a rare special occasion or when they're beyond repair,worn out too bobbly etc. I do make sure we've got good footwear and warm waterproof coats etc but again don't replace each year. My last parka for instance,I worked out lasted me for 10 years and I've had the once I've got now for 3 so far !

For children, shop in the sales a year in advance (same with Christmas presents so you only have to buy the one main present nearer the time then), go to charity shops/Vinted and also remember they're in school uniform the majority of the time so don't need huge amounts of clothes.

For you shop on Vinted - proper bargains on there - including perfume!

I have always bought things like winter coats and pyjamas in a size up and got two years out of them. Once they are at school DC need less stuff. I also find buying good stuff us cheaper in the long run rather than buying lots of cheaper stuff every year.

Vinted is my new boutique for buying and selling .

I have 2 kids and I don't buy many clothes for myself but almost all the clothes I've bought for myself OR the kids in the last 10 years has been from Sainsbury's, Asda, Tesco, Matalan, Primark or charity shops!! And I don't mind that, I honestly like their clothes!!

This sickness of 'buying the winter/summer wardrobe' is just what the retailers (and behind them, the vast industry of producing sickening amounts of new clothing every year, paying poor people in poor countries peanuts in bad working conditions, using synthetic fibres that stick around for hundreds of years, polluting environments with the manufacturing process, etc) WANT you to do. Why the hell do you, an adult who presumably hasn't changed shape all that much since last winter, need a new suite of clothing?

Most of my coats have lasted me at least five years. Coats don't go out of fashion that fast! I just replaced a zipper slider on my son's waterproof jacket because it bust - I know many people would have binned the jacket but it cost a few quid from Amazon to get a packet of new sliders and about 10 mins of online research and then 3 minutes to do it. We need to repair more, buy better, hang onto stuff for longer.

As for going out and buying a whole lot of new kit for your DD from new, that's madness, surely? Children grow! At least buy things that are going to see more than a season or so.

In my opinion adult life is just expensive. The last time I went around buying what I wanted all the time, I was a student and certainly not being sensible with my finances. Me and OH both work full-time (I earn a decent amount), and we have a DS who's 8. Just bought a house and so have been saving for years to afford that and now looking at renovation costs of new home. I only ever buy myself something if I really need it and even then I've worn broken shoes for a month until I've had the spare money. We don't overspend on DS either - he didn't need new uniform this year as still fitted in last year's so didn't spend anything unnecessary. I'd rather be able to put money aside and not feel totally broke than buy myself unnecessary luxuries and be broke weeks before pay day.

I do buy a fair bit for myself, particularly last year and this. But I buy a lot in the sales.

For the kids, we're lucky to get a lot of hand me downs from friends/family. I buy a lot in the sales for them also. Second hand is a great way to get nice bits for the kids at good prices.

I came on to say the same thing, but fearful of committing the Mumsnet sin of wanting more than the regulation 2 outfits handed down seven times 🙄

Just change the way you accessorize with cheaper items like colourful scarves and jewellery and you'll have a totally new look every time

Feel your pain. Myself and DH both earn well working FT, we have one DD aged 3. Can hardly afford any luxuries, no holiday this year. Any new clothes mainly come from Vinted to save money.
It’s crap because if we didn’t have this current financial crisis we’d be in such a great position.
having said that I do still know we are way more privileged than some others. I am able to buy nice food for dinner, we get the odd takeaway, I use expensive face cream so we’re lucky. Have to just keep reminding myself of that if I feel hard done by. I’m certainly not.

We're a high income household, but still stick to a budget. Joint finances always (DH is sole earner atm), budget for groceries, children, savings and 'fun money'. If there isn't enough money to go around you need to see where you can save. Buying second hand clothes, switching supermarkets or buying cheaper brands etc.

If your salary still doesn't cover basic grocery bills, household bills and an amount leftover for children and yourself, you might just need to seek a higher salary. It might not be instant but pushing for promotion or changing your role entirely or creating a side hustle (vinted could work for you)

This is me minus the yoga and nails and plus the vinted now. 1 ds6. I still wear my pre child wardrobe/handbags/scarves etc which luckily was mainly classic staples. I buy a handful of new items a year now

I sell all of our unwanted clothes on Vinted. I then use that money to buy myself clothes from Vinted.

You're thinking about this the wrong way.

All that stuff you bought your 5 year old - was it brand new? How much did you spend? I get most my kids stuff from charity shops or eBay or on the local freecycle kids group. I can afford new stuff but I feel it is better to buy second hand.

The whole "I don't want to wear the same winter stuff as last year" is just a thing in your head. If you change your mindset of not caring what season it is, then you don't then need or want anything new!

People are too obsessed thinking they NEED stuff. If you prioritise what makes you happy, then most the time you'll find it's spending money having fun with the family, not what season your clothes are.

I wear the same clothes one year to the next and just replace if something wears out. Why do you need a winter wardrobe? Winter happens every year.

I don't buy a whole winter wardrobe each year. I buy almost all of my clothes (and the children's) on vinted.
Despite having a relatively high household income there is very little in the pot for clothes as we prioritise other things.