How do you afford stuff for yourself?

[Shouldhavegotthemeatmeatballs]

I remember once upon a time, floating around the shops buying myself clothes, shoes, bags, perfume etc. I work part time now but earn a similar amount and Dh is now on more money, but after I’ve bought everything for Dd (5) for example, this week all the winter bits-coat, boots, pjs, jumpers etc etc, plus getting a few Christmas bits in, there’s just never enough left over. I got myself two jumpers, but that’s it and I need much more. There’s just always so much to buy and that with just one child. I don’t know how people manage. Our mortgage has shot right up, but I have a degree and supposedly good career, do you have money to get yourself a winter wardrobe etc?

Lovely isn't the same as new though

eBay, Vinted, charity shops. All my clothes are from those. Even the bras.
Twice a year I go through my clothes and DDs and I sell what I can, and the money goes straight onto buying "new" clothes for the season or school/whatever.
Shoes I buy new for DD and mine are from charity shops.

I don't 'float round the shops' I work out, in September what I actually need.
This year a pair of jeans, several sweaters, a pair of loafers, a couple of long sleeved t-shirts.
Then I look at what ds needs - new jeans, three new hoodies, school trousers, bad weather boots.
Then I spread the purchases across Sept, Oct and Nov. I check sale sites and find a way to buy it all.
Then I don't buy anything else until May unless absolutely necessary.

I allocate an amount for "fun money" for myself every month. but i dont need an entire new wardrobe for winter. this year i've bought a few jumpers and a pair of jeans and some tights. everything else still fits and will work.

i am lucky in that i have an october birthday. and parents are usually very generous with a voucher for m&s or next (or in this years case, both). so that helped.

but i hear you with mortgage increases and cost of living increases though.

I guess I just earn enough to have some left over for me (unhelpful but true).

However, I do buy 90% of stuff for both me and DC secondhand, from Vinted or charity shops, so save massive sums. I buy in advance so already had stuff ready for this winter and didn’t have to buy it all at once.

I sell a lot of stuff I’ve finished with on Vinted too.

We also go without a lot of stuff that other people seem to consider “essential”, we don’t have Netflix for example and just had a cheap(ish) U.K. holiday this year. Don’t drink alcohol so that saves a lot compared to some of my friends.

I also don’t buy into crap like Xmas eve boxes. DC don’t go without I’m just mindful of not wasting money.

OP, I was complimented on a dress I wore to an awards dinner recently. I didn't tell anyone it is 24 years old.

I buy good quality and keep it for years. I have other lovely clothes but lots of them are more than 10 years old.

Choose carefully and it should last.

Friends would give me things their older children had grown out of, charity shops
Car boot sales
Mine are adults now, but I'm still frugal now I buy from Vinted and only what I need for myself

It’s horrendous! We’re TTC and probably sticking at one, this being one of the reasons- we want to afford a nice standard of life for all three of us.

I buy fairly simply and stick to a specific colour palette (four colours) for mixing/matching/layering/styling. I get basics from Primark and many of those pieces last me years. I like Zara for decent quality and will invest in one or two pieces from there a couple of times a year. I’m heading towards more of a capsule wardrobe now, whereas when I was younger it was very broad and eclectic. I’m finding I’m much happier with less.

Make do with what you have 🤷🏻

I buy both DSDs and my clothes from Vinted. I sell bits I no longer wear or DSD has grown out off then put the money towards some new stuff.

I grudge paying full price for something she's going to grow out of in 6months or get stained.

The children all grew up and moved on, I got promoted and mostly buy second hand. I have a perfume addiction sadly.

Kick the dc out, work full time and you are winning! (Joking obviously, at least keep the dc until after Xmas).

I can afford to buy whatever I want and I love clothes, but I still don’t buy a ‘winter wardrobe’ every year. I like the things I already possess, because I don’t buy crap, so I want to keep on wearing them. This autumn I’ve bought a new coat because I spotted exactly the thing I’ve been hunting for for years, and replaced my favourite boots because they were looking rather worn. I don’t need anything else. If I happen to spot something I love, I’ll buy it, but there’ll be no heading into town with a shopping list of clothes items to buy, because that’s just not necessary.

I asked my 13yo if she needed anything for winter and she said ‘no’. She doesn’t seem to have grown out of much. I have noticed her trainers are looking past their best though, so she’ll be getting new ones of those.

People buy too many clothes.

But that doesn't mean it's all new stuff. If you look closely it could be neutral classic pieces updated with a few accessories. Or some currently fashionable pieces bought from Ebay, Vinted or lower priced fast-fashion brands like new Look, Primark, Temu which may not look so great close up.

I don't think it's just a question of money, OP. Like you I remember strolling around the shops buying lovely things - it was fun when I was young and had money to fritter for the first time, and I could get a dress from Topshop and a new Urban Decay eyeshadow for that night (ageing myself there) and I had zero thought of mortgage rates and council tax and utility prices and orthodontist fees and paying for future university fees. It's the privilege of youth, like not having to think about what you eat or what exercise you are getting or how to provide for the future. As soon as you reach the age where you have to contend with these realities, you have lost that carefree mindset.

You probably could afford more than the two jumpers, but now that you have different priorities and a different perspective on how your money can best be used, I'm afraid your days of joyful non-sensible spending might be behind you.

(Looking back I wasted a shitload of money )

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