How do you afford stuff for yourself?

[Shouldhavegotthemeatmeatballs]

I remember once upon a time, floating around the shops buying myself clothes, shoes, bags, perfume etc. I work part time now but earn a similar amount and Dh is now on more money, but after I’ve bought everything for Dd (5) for example, this week all the winter bits-coat, boots, pjs, jumpers etc etc, plus getting a few Christmas bits in, there’s just never enough left over. I got myself two jumpers, but that’s it and I need much more. There’s just always so much to buy and that with just one child. I don’t know how people manage. Our mortgage has shot right up, but I have a degree and supposedly good career, do you have money to get yourself a winter wardrobe etc?

Unless it's obvious brands, you know people who wear the most obvious designer logos get them fake or cheap on vinted 😂

(I have nothing against vinted or Primark, I buy 99% of my clothes in either of these 2!)

I do. I'm a single parent earning £65k with huge nursery costs (£1400 pcm for my 3 year old), currently on mat pay, living in London. My mortgage is £800. I'm not struggling and don't really get why that is.

I'm not sure the average person would tell (or care to be honest). I've literally never thought someone's clothes were fake branded, I rarely even note what brand their clothes are.

Maybe that's just me!

I buy most of my stuff from supermarkets - clothes, toiletries, bedding, even shoes.

when people feel the need to flaunt obvious designer labels, you can generally tell why 😂

A certain horse-rider logo on pre-school and primary school children's clothes is a big one.

I don’t buy a winter wardrobe nor do I buy my children a winter wardrobe. I don’t think most people are doing what you describe.

Seems so alien to me. I mean, who cares?! Young kids don't typically care what they wear and no other parents give a hoot.

Do you think it's about appearing richer than they are? Or just liking brands they can't afford?

I never have anything left at the end of the month 😫
But I am very careful with buying clothes and I never buy new.

Buy in the sale for next year for DS basics so like jeans, jumpers, shirts etc so only have to pick up a few fashion pieces for the next year. He's into sportswear so it's not cheap.

My wardrobe is usually 5 years worth of stuff I have picked up maybe one item and month. I don't do summer and winter clothes it's usually layer for me with the only things I put away being wool

I'm sorry you're feeling like things are squeezed at the moment. But in answer to your question, others either have more money, spend it on different things to you, or put it on credit. There's not really any other way for them to afford it?

Sounds like you've had an expensive month and Christmas is always an expensive time. But I would say buying those bits for your child, some xmas bits and a couple of jumpers for you sounds like you're doing OK 👍

Some seriously dodgy usernames popping up. I am actually surprised that this thread is still here!!

We're the same. Luckily I have cheap tastes when it comes to clothes (Primark, Zara, Next, etc.) and DH has to be forced to by clothes so although I like to go shopping every so often, I don't spend as much as some people.

Dh and I put all finances into one place, he doesn’t spend loads on himself either, I just find so much on my Dd 😂it’s never ending..clothes, clubs, Christmas, birthday, party etc. I think I’m definitely remembering a different time when my money was spent on lots of travelling and things for myself

I have my normal winter clothes, but it feels a bit depressing getting the same old stuff out sometimes

Isn’t the obvious answer to work more hours? We do afford things we want but we earn a good joint income, I work part time and if we couldn’t afford things I would up my hours.

I make myself buy clothes for myself, by cutting out other things. I have a friend who's always complaining that she never has money to buy herself anything, but at the same she buys a Starbucks and lunch out everyday (no, I'm not one of those people who think buying coffee stops people from buying a house!) While I'm there with my travel mug from home and a packed lunch. She must be spending £100 a month on that. So, I suppose its a case of prioritising sometimes. I have another friend who shops exclusively on Vinted and always looks great.

I earn enough to do it. I rarely think twice about buying myself something. I am very lucky. Dh and I have separate accounts and one dc .

I usually use charity shops. I never buy new clothes for me. Some of my clothes are 20 years old and more.

I think it’s the same for many parents and certainly me. Children do need new clothes more regularly than adults so you put that first. I’ve probably spent £100 on each child for just footwear since sept- school shoes and trainers, and that’s twice a year. Whereas I don’t buy myself a new pair of shoes a year as they last. My trainers I only got last year but my boots I’ve had 4 years.

I definitely don’t get a new winter wardrobe and space out big purchases so coat one year, boots the next. I’ve got quite a good winter wardrobe now but always need something in the summer as I’ve bought cheaper things and they’re not wearing well.

Isn’t that the downside of part time work though? You don’t have enough disposable income to buy yourself stuff?

but if you went full time, you’d be able to buy the stuff you want or need, but the downside of that is, you actually need to work for it.

cost of living has increased hugely, and now you have a child to clothe and feed too, but you still earn the same as you did before this. Your husband is earning more, but between you you’re now just covering the additional costs.

so it’s basically a choice with a school age child, work full time and be able to afford nicer stuff for yourself, or stay part time, and go without.

Does it matter? As long as the kid is clothed who cares?

I also don’t really understand the posters issues, if you can afford Ralph Lauren you can afford Ralph Lauren, there is no award for buying Asda instead.

but the op cares. And that’s ok,,she’s not hankering after designer label, but she wants to buy new and nice stuff, so what,loads do, but the reality is as adults we need to work and pay for that. Going for promotion in other jobs, working full time, but the bottom line is as grown ups if you wish to buy things most of us need to work and earn the money to do so.

I was referring more to does it matter if they are fake or not if the people are happy. I don't actually think everything on vinted is fake anyway but that poster sounded snobby.

I know the feeling that OP. I don't often but myself much but when I worked more a few months ago first thing I did buy was decent trainers. 😁

Not usually but I usually get vouchers off family at Christmas so I just buy what I need then. I also have winter jumpers and jeans from previous years so I don't need new.
Although I did have a horrible shock last month as I had to buy all 3 children winter coats and the price was, ridiculous. Thankfully two of them are mid to late teens so I'm hoping the next time they need a, new, coat they can pay for it (might be a while before 3 year old can afford it though).

OP - you need to use Vinted!!! I’m in a similar situation and it’s the only way I’ve bought myself new stuff this year. My winter wardrobe from last year is seriously lacking, I always seem to need to add quite a few things to it.

I wanted a long gillet - they’re £60 new in Zara and H&M. I just can’t justify that / eat at the end of the month!! I went on Vinted and they were still £30 from those shops. I ended up with a brand new primark one - selling for £25 in primark but £8 on Vinted! It’s immaculate and I love it. Did similar with a coat too. Also saw a nice jumper, then checked the sellers wardrobe and got 3 for £12, so only one lot of postage for 3 jumpers. I try and get myself something on there little and often rather than a big shop. It’s time consuming but so worth it