Shout out to my husband

[Lights22]

This isn't actually AIBU but given this is where most DH-bashing goes on I thought I'd add the thread here.

Last Christmas, whilst on mat leave, I had flu. And promptly gave it to baby and toddler at home with me. DH, without asking, took AL from this year's allocation to look after all three of us.

Yesterday, having already had an unpaid day off with baby (RSV this time) he then took a second day because, although it was supposed to be me and I was there, having been in ED all night I was in no fit state to parent.

He does the washing up every night.

He buys me chocolate on a bad day.

He gives me a lie-in most weekends as I'm up with baby most nights.

He's not perfect. He doesn't always get it right. But he does his best.

Your turn!!!!

Thank you. I read out some posts to him about men's terrible behaviour and I wish I could take a picture of his face, because he looks like someone just fed him dog shit instead of chocolate. He is always absolutely horrified.

He sometimes gets seriously upset and puts his hands on his face and just groans in despair.

Congrats I guess, he took care of his own children.

Congrats I guess, he took care of his own children.

Exactly.

It's not that it isn't great he did this, and that you would appreciate him & what he's done.

But 'he's so lovely 🥰' is baffling - it's good he looks after his children & you, it's not about being 'so lovely' though.

The bar is so low it is literally in hell, isn’t it? looking after your shared child is definitely not shout-out worthy! It’s the bare minimum! Bloody hell.

I will give mine a shout out for getting us Springsteen tickets on Friday though. He benefits from that too, bc Springsteen is excellent, but I was at work and couldn’t do the ticketmaster queuing stress so as he was working from home the burden fell solely to him, and he delivered. Yesssss lad.

oh, and he makes me a coffee and my packed lunch sandwich every single morning when I’m in the shower. Which is a small but very lovely thing because sandwiches always taste nicer when they’re made by someone else so I feel very loved every lunch time. But yeah, mostly the Springsteen thing.

This! Where is the shout out for the fact that he might have done the washing up but you probably thought of the meal to cook. Bought the food, prepped it, cooked it, dished it up. Probably did another job while he was washing up. Where is the shout out for that. You might love him but unless he is out working all day comes home does all the chores and childcare while you have a bath he isn't doing anything other than contributing to the running of his life.

Op...mn not great re supportive husband...my dsis says her dh and her each had a lie in one day at the weekend during the baby toddler years..one of them do Saturday one do the Sunday. . She knew her dh a keeper then ..my dh does the washing and very good at putting the load he put on out to dry whilst i put dd to bed and tbh I know he had faults he amazing cleaner too.better than me and a more patient parent than me ..tbh he pretty amazing with dd and me..I appreciate him but don't you tell him that mnetters...dh better cook than me too ..his job is very stressful but I more than does his 50÷ or more on the boring day to day stuff...

I really don't get why it's so bad for me to say that I appreciate my husband for something like looking after me when I'm sick. If I did the same for him and he said nothing afterwards I'd feel completely taken for granted.

We are thankful and grateful for each other and we say thank you to each other daily.

My husband thanks me for emptying the dishwasher even if I've been busy with work. I thank him for taking the bins out even if it's raining.

Just because something is an expected general life task doesn't mean you can't appreciate it being done.

@TheBirdintheCave Your husband thanks you for emptying the dishwasher every time? To be honest, if mine did this he'd probably end up IN the dishwasher!!

@CurlewKate Not every time no. But he will if he knows I've had a busy day :)

Saying thanks to your partner for doing a household task is very different to writing a post on the internet waxing lyrical about how amazing they are for doing something that contributes to a normal functioning household.

A keeper because he got up and looked after his own children on the weekend 🙄

Fucking hell this thread is illuminating.

My husband thanks me for making oven chips. I thank him for wiping the counters. We respect each other enough to show gratitude for the small things, but neither of us deserve a shout out.

Imagine a man shouting out to his wife for cooking once a week or looking after the kids every now and then when he was under the weather.

Husband did over 30 hours straight at work a few weekends ago (I am aware it’s illegal but in the industry he works in unfortunately this kind of thing is quite normal. A month after the birth of our baby where he has been doing the lion share of housework, running around, all the cooking and cleaning etc. and he knew I wanted to collect some of the Halloween Squishmallow plushes that come with Happy Meals. So went most days and had a Happy Meal for lunch, including midway through the Hell Shift so I could have the little cuddly spooky guys I wanted. It was a small gesture in amongst all the other things he does every day, but somehow just felt so beautiful in how simple it was that he remembered me mention these little cuddlies just once and made sure I got a few for the set (don’t drive and live far from Macdonald’s especially when I was recovering from a c-section). 🥺