Shout out to my husband

[Lights22]

This isn't actually AIBU but given this is where most DH-bashing goes on I thought I'd add the thread here.

Last Christmas, whilst on mat leave, I had flu. And promptly gave it to baby and toddler at home with me. DH, without asking, took AL from this year's allocation to look after all three of us.

Yesterday, having already had an unpaid day off with baby (RSV this time) he then took a second day because, although it was supposed to be me and I was there, having been in ED all night I was in no fit state to parent.

He does the washing up every night.

He buys me chocolate on a bad day.

He gives me a lie-in most weekends as I'm up with baby most nights.

He's not perfect. He doesn't always get it right. But he does his best.

Your turn!!!!

Honestly I think there should be more threads like this - even if the bar starts off low by your (and my) standards.

I think a lot of women don't know that their relationship is bad and they're taken for granted. Often their RL social circle is full of women in similar situations to their own.

Instead of berating OP for having a low bar, there will be lots of women who don't get ANY of what's in the OP from their partners and will start to see the light that in fact, it isn't normal, and shouldn't be accepted.

Gradually women will start to know their worth instead of being worried that they'll be labelled 'high maintenance' or 'a nag'. This might be the bare minimum for many of us, but it isn't for many more.

Now THAT is worthy of a shout out! What a lovely thing to do. It wouldn’t even occur to my partner! Lucky you.

All the other basic chores that these men could and should be doing anyway, which are just the mere basic components of maintaining a household and adult life, are absolutely not worthy of gushing praise. It’s bizarre.

Arrives at mine (don’t live together) and immediately sets about emptying/filling the dishwasher, taking out the bins and offering to go to the shops. And will bring cups of tea. I wouldn’t dream of asking him to do anything, he does it all himself

Today is our fifth wedding anniversary and I still thank my lucky stars every day that I met my husband. He is the most mild mannered and amiable person I've ever met and I utterly adore him. He would do absolutely anything for me and our son. Right now I am 12 weeks pregnant with our second and have been very sick so he's been doing basically 100% of the cooking and housework plus more than his fair share of looking after our toddler, all without complaint. I would be lost without him.

Love this!😂

Great to see some praise for men for a change rather than the usual pile on. Nice thread OP.

I think it’s great that so many of you have happy lives with your husbands/ partners.

I totally get the “the bar is set so low for men” posts- but glad so many of your are happy. Especially like the “he’s hot” and “he’s good in the sack” posts.

I’m divorced from a man who really didn’t do even the bare minimum of being a partner and adult. So I get what people are saying re “all we hear about is the crap ones”.

My nan passed away on Tuesday and my DH has been amazing, looking after me, our DD's and dealing with it bringing back painful memories from his own grandmother passing. DH has also been helping guide us as a family through how to register the death etc, he is amazing and i would have been lost without him x

I'm disappointed because I think it could have been a nice thread if the OP's husband had done something noteworthy.

That's what makes the thread disappointing, that her bar is set so low, she thinks his normal behaviour is worthy of a 'shout out'.

I haven't done a single night feed except when in hospital after the c sections (20 month old DS and 23 week DD breastfed and i express too for night feeds/ also donate breast milk to the breastmilk bank every week... joys of being a hyperproducer). He tells me I'm beautiful and means it even when I've got baby puke in my hair and look like an absolute wreck 🤣 Does the dishes without fail, takes the rubbish out without me having to ask, regularly gets up with the kids and let's me have a lie in, then brings me a cuppa when I wake up. Surprised me yesterday with a random haul of wax melts. Never comes back from the shop without a wee treat for me. I'm so, so lucky.

It's nice to see something positive about men on here for once. I'm all for slagging off bad men and husbands but there's never a normal space to praise good ones!

My husband brings me coffee in bed every morning, with a little biscoff biscuit to keep me going until breakfast. He gets the oldest 4 kids up and downstairs before I get out of bed, so I can come down with baby DD and supervise breakfast and do last minute tasks. He makes me a big iced coffee and puts it in the car for the school run. He works full time and still comes home from work smiling, genuinely happy to see us.

He tidies, cleans, never leaves shoes out or clothes dumped on the floor. He cooks at the weekends, makes breakfasts every day, does the laundry and other household tasks I hate.

We are constantly laughing, when I'm sad or stressed or tired his go to is to make me laugh and it always works. He never grumbles or complains, when I grumble and complain he fixes it. He leaves notes and gifts around for me to find. He also created a chocolate stash for me in the utility room- the only room the kids can't find me in, eating an emergency kitkat when I don't want to be poked, prodded or hear 'mummy mummy mummy' for a moment.

My favourite thing to see if how he interacts with our kids, he's so passionate and interested and he remembers all their friends and teachers and every story they tell him. His Dad was entirely disconnected from him as a child, and it really affected him.

Plus he's so hot 🔥

@howsaboutit

you do know that you don't have to say out loud every thing that crosses your mind??

you could just let people have a nice thread without pissing on their chips!!

im currently single & had been enjoying reading a thread that was positive about DH's for a change. Until your post.

Mine stepped up to doing all of the cooking on top of a demanding full time job as I injured my dominant hand a couple of months ago. For context I'm currently a sahp

Why are you picking on that post?

Plenty of people have pointed out how low the OP's bar is.

My husband is a good man but I'll always remember this story as 'shout-out' worthy. I really miss four finger Kit-Kats in foil and paper . I'm not obsessed, but it has popped up over the years how much I miss the 90's packaging. One day a couple of years ago, my DH presented me with a four finger kit-kat wrapped in foil and paper!! It was a glossisness etc. He perfectly wrapped a four finger kit-kat in foil and added a perfect paper sleeve glued around the back. It was a perfect moment of realisation that I had married my soul mate.

My husband is amazing too op

@Lights22

He sounds lovely, as do many others! It's nice to read a positive thread (until someone just had to spoil the vibe).

Do any of the good ones have a much older brother (50"s plus??)

Half my post dissappeared!

'It turns out, he had printed the paper sleeve and spent a week trying to produce the perfect ink, paper glossiness etc'

It’s not a nice thread in my eyes. It’s a thread thanking men for doing the washing up or looking after their children, you know the things any father should do. I think it’s an absolutely miserable thread highlighting that the bar is set so horribly low for men that they need thanks for being normal fathers and partners! It’s not something that should be celebrated at all

Hope the wee one is okay @Lights22, our son was in hospital for 5 nights with RSV, it's bloody horrible and i have genuinely newrky taken the face off folk if they try to kiss either of my two since - was MIL who gave him rsv, despitene politely, and then firmly to not kiss the baby on the lips, i came back from the kitchen to find her doing so, he took it pretty hard and 3 days later he was on hospital with an NG feed, OptiFlow oxygen and having to be suctioned every few hours at 8 weeks old.

Sending you positive thoughts, hugs and glad you have such a supportive partner to get through it with, it really does make a massive, massive difference ❤️

My H did pretty much all the night feeds. And dragged himself up for work v early in the morning.

My husband is wonderful but I really don’t think taking time off work to care for a sick wife and children is anything remarkable? I’d divorce a man who didn’t do that as a matter of course. And I wouldn’t thank him for it either. I mean both my dh thank each other for ordinary things like making dinner and doing laundry (he does the laundry). But he doesn’t thank me for going to the hospital with him or expect me to thank him for caring for me if I’m sick. Its a pleasure and a privilege to be there for the people you love when they are in need. No one else has that privilege.

Sorry for your loss xx

@howsaboutit I see it as celebrating the fact that there ARE some good men out there being normal husbands and fathers. So often on this forum we read about the awful layabouts who do nothing. It's nice to have a thread showing that that's not the norm.

He’s a man he’s most likely cheating & feels guilty about it.

Im kidding I’m kidding 😁🤫