Shout out to my husband

[Lights22]

This isn't actually AIBU but given this is where most DH-bashing goes on I thought I'd add the thread here.

Last Christmas, whilst on mat leave, I had flu. And promptly gave it to baby and toddler at home with me. DH, without asking, took AL from this year's allocation to look after all three of us.

Yesterday, having already had an unpaid day off with baby (RSV this time) he then took a second day because, although it was supposed to be me and I was there, having been in ED all night I was in no fit state to parent.

He does the washing up every night.

He buys me chocolate on a bad day.

He gives me a lie-in most weekends as I'm up with baby most nights.

He's not perfect. He doesn't always get it right. But he does his best.

Your turn!!!!

Fair play. It's an awkward situation.

Can we have a 'DH party'? Yours sounds lovely 🥰

My husband is my carer. I have ptsd and cptsd and being assessed for autism. He is the purest soul.

He is empathic, funny, generous with his time and energy.

He once stayed up all night to create a valentine mod of half life 2 for me to play!

He gives me massages. If I am triggered or having a panic attack he will play violin for me. He reads to me during times of stress to help me stay calm.

He loves to talk about anything with me.

If I have a nightmare, he hugs me and tells me I am safe and loved.

He also cooks, cleans, deals with life admin and is a doting and wonderful dad to our baby daughter.

We have been together 10 years next year, and married 3 years. He is gorgeous and the love of my life and absolute best friend!

I could go on all day!!!

A real dote 🤗

It’s really not awkward to rely on your spouse - it’s perfectly normal.
The majority of the replies on here are more than a little biased; it’s important to remember that.

I’m more than happy to admit I’d be lost without my wife, and that’s not a bad thing.

I find it v awkward tbh. I absolutely hate it. But it's a very personal thing i suppose?

Mine let’s me sleep in every morning as I get up with LO at night; he cooks as much as I do; we share pick up and drop offs; he’s home when LO or I are poorly … and so much more

Cringing for you. Can you imagine a man making list all the things you do. Sure he sounds like a good egg but not going more than what a partner should do to be honest.

Does all the laundry & dishes

Hangs it up, folds it away.

Does the girls bath time because he loves the one on one time.

Let's me have a lay in most of the time as he likes an early rise (I'm up in the night with DD2) so I like a lay on whilst on maternity

Buys me flowers all the time & my favourite treats

Tells me he loves me & appreciates me and acknowledges how much I've been through with having our two DD close together and dealing with sleepless nights and teething etc whilst he works.

He's just the best person I've ever met. He's always got my back and puts us first every single time.

I just adore him. I love spoiling him. I make sure he knows just how much we love and appreciate all he does for his family. I like to take him away for the night every few months and buy him his favourite beers and rum and coffees.

I just love our little life together. It's simple. It's ours.

Cringing for you more like.

It's a light hearted thread.

Move on

Men are perfectly capable of doing every mundane domestic and empathetic thing women do. This does not need a ‘shout out’.

Lol I watch MAFS with my husband but he is the fan. Believe me I don't like it, but I like to spend time with him. My head is done in by all the plastic people shouting at each other. Your DH is a trooper.

I agree that the bar is set low for men here. Similarly DH does the majority of the day to day housework, even though he works full time and I'm part time. He organises dinner at least half the time and also does all the traditional 'man roles' like bins, garden, car stuff, etc. He drives me around if I don't feel like driving, goes to the shop several times a day to get me whatever has tickled my fancy. This is partially due to a tough pregnancy but tbh he's been like this from the start of our relationship many years ago.

So many "I only have to tell him and he does it!" posts! 🤣

Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you were the mumsnet police.

I know. My 11 year old son tidies his room if a ask him, he'll make me a cup of tea if I ask him and if he leaves wee on the toilet seat, he'll clean it up if I ask him. So many women putting men on a pedestal for doing the same as a little boy!

Mine let’s me sleep in every morning as I get up with LO at night;
Let's? how good of him, he's a normal decent person. Does he let you get up in the night? 🙄

Why shouldn't men get thanks and appreciation for being good partners and dads? Everyone likes to be appreciated and it's good mental health care to feel and express gratitude.

Personally think this is a lovely thread!

Again with the 'lets' (not let's btw).

As an adult you don't have to be 'let' to do anything. Honestly shaking my head at some of these partnerships.

You share pick ups and drop offs? Why wouldn't you, the children belong equally to both of you. Why is this something to appreciate? It's adults being adults.

"Why shouldn't men get thanks and appreciation for being good partners and dads? Everyone likes to be appreciated and it's good mental health care to feel and express gratitude."

Of course they should! But surely not for the bare minimum?

Why not see if he's up to making his own list of things that need doing?

Aww op he does his best does he? Bless his little cotton socks.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Mine is bloody lovely and just this second got me a hot water bottle as I'm feeling cold. My ex was abusive so I'm a bit in awe of just how wonderful DP is.

Why not? People like to be appreciated. Doesn't mean you can't ask or expect more if it's not enough.

@SwordToFlamethrower your DH sounds great

I went out with a friend last night and despite having a rotten cold he cleared up the kitchen, did bedtime with our youngest, then had got youngest up and out quietly for an activity at 9 am, and took the dog for a walk. When I woke up at 10.30 (10.30!!! Bloody luxury!) he sent me and my hangover back to bed, brought me a fried breakfast with fresh coffee. He’s just done all the lunches and brought me a cup of tea.

He’s so lovely 🥰