Shout out to my husband

[Lights22]

This isn't actually AIBU but given this is where most DH-bashing goes on I thought I'd add the thread here.

Last Christmas, whilst on mat leave, I had flu. And promptly gave it to baby and toddler at home with me. DH, without asking, took AL from this year's allocation to look after all three of us.

Yesterday, having already had an unpaid day off with baby (RSV this time) he then took a second day because, although it was supposed to be me and I was there, having been in ED all night I was in no fit state to parent.

He does the washing up every night.

He buys me chocolate on a bad day.

He gives me a lie-in most weekends as I'm up with baby most nights.

He's not perfect. He doesn't always get it right. But he does his best.

Your turn!!!!

I ❤️ this!

This is pretty cool, tbf!

He makes me a coffee every morning to wake up to, does 99% of the cooking and lunch making (and breakfast on a weekend), 99% of the washing up, and never minds going to the shop when I develop a sudden whim for wine / chocolate / fanta etc.

He also does his equal share of all the other household jobs and life admin, so just highlighting the areas where he pulls significantly more than his fair share on a daily basis.

He's a very good egg.

Why am I not surprised the misery guts are out here trying to even bring this one down 🙄🙄. To clarify for them, I was just hoping to provide a breath of fresh air to MN. The things my husband does is just normal partnership marriage and parenting and he has no idea I posted on here. And to be fair to him he does most of the legwork here.

For those that are here to appreciate the post for what it is, I salute you and enjoyed your stories. Especially the reply where she shouted out how good her DH is in the sack 🤣

Um. When you say he "gives you a lie-in most weekends". So, you're sharing the load equally here, so you each get one lie-in every weekend, right? And then, because you do ALL the nights with the baby (your nights as well as his nights), he mostly gives you his lie-in, so you get two, right? I still don't think that's fair - you're doing 3.5 broken nights for him in exchange for one lie-in.
Great that he does the washing up - who does the cooking, the shopping, and the meal planning? Who is looking after the kids while he does the washing up?

oh, shout out to my dh for making me a decent cup of tea whenever I ask and also whenever I don't

Mine honestly believes that his only job in life is to earn money (yes I work full time too!) and wash the cars so I’ll give my shout out to my son (14).

He cooks dinner for us every night (we don’t make him, he just loves it).

He always insists on carrying the basket in the supermarket and carrying the bags in from the car.

When I was moaning the other day that the kitchen always needs cleaning, he said I wouldn’t have to worry about that tonight and cleaned it all after cooking (the usual deal is that he cooks, I clean up after).

He always has interesting topics of conversation to talk about in the car (except when he’s banging of about F1).

He looks after the dog in the holidays while DH and I are at work.

He’s always polite, conversational and well behaved and we always get comments about this even now he’s a teenager 🥰.

Oh and he makes great brews!

Mine let me go to bed at 9pm
Why are women grateful their partner offers help, it's their home and child!!

This

Mine makes me food when I'm hungry at stupid o'clock in the evening.

He lets me nap whenever I want, he cleans my car, he straightens my hair and buys me rum & chocolate when he knows I need a pick me up.

The best thing though when I was pregnant many, many moons ago I'd crave McDonald's pancakes & Burger King fries and he'd go to both driveways just for me.

I have read on this thread 'he lets me' more than once. What's that about? Presumably you are an adult too, so you don't need to be 'let' to do anything.

My DH runs the bath, takes the bins out & goes his cleaning rounds - without being prompted. He sorts the car out and gets dinner everyday for us after the gym. He makes me tea in the evening after dinner and texts me every morning that he loves me and misses me.

He's not perfect but he is a good man ❤️

@howsaboutit

it was a positive thread, started by someone happy in their relationship.

yeah he's doing what many of us would consider normal or minimal, but there are a LOT doing nothing! It's a pretty low bar, but they're happy.

not every thread requires a lecture/posters being told their bar is too low or whatever. She can see what other people consider low/normal etc & sadly probably feels a little less happy now.

that's just brilliant isn't it. That really helps. 🙄🙄

being thankful for having one of the decent ones doesn't need peeing all over or smug posters claiming their DH's bring a piece of the moon home every day.

people COULD just be happy that someone is (was) happy FFS

What about a shout out to the wives here who do so much?

Mine is retired and I was, until very recently, still working from home. He did all the cooking, laundry, hoovering, washing up etc. on work days and a lot of it at the weekend too, as well as bringing me breakfast in bed every day. I am now being treated for cancer so he does even more. I've had a pretty bad time and for the first 2 months I was in bed most of the time, when I wasn't actually in hospital. He pops out to the shop to gets me whatever I fancy to eat, he puts up with my moods, he takes me to every appointment, he does everything for me if I can't do it myself. He isn't that well himself but he never complains. I love him to bits.

He is not the most romantic person so there are no typical grand gestures like flowers, chocolate or complements, also he is absolutely clueless in terms of domestic stuff (all colours being washed together at 60 degrees or all surfaces wiped with same cloth and same spray). But he maxes out my lifetime ISA every year, takes care of all the joint admin/bills and never EVER questions or criticises my input.

I wouldn’t be happy if my daughter grew up thinking she had to thank a man or give him a shout out for raising his own children or cleaning his own home. We, collectively, as women need to hold men to much much higher standards. If a female colleague, friend, family member, gushed to me that their partner does the washing up I’d have the same conversation with them. It’s not a lecture, it’s food for thought. Why do you feel the need to praise or thank the man in your life for doing things women do so often without praise or thanks? I’m not smug about having a good partner, I also don’t think I should be grateful for it either. I think I deserve a good partner, as does the OP. No woman should be considering themselves lucky for having a partner that is a partner in life. That should be the standard. Just because there are many that do less doesn’t mean a man that does his fair share is to be worshipped! It’s the wrong mentality to have as a woman.

I wouldn’t be happy if my daughter grew up thinking she had to thank a man or give him a shout out for raising his own children or cleaning his own home. We, collectively, as women need to hold men to much much higher standards.

My DH thanks me for these things. I thank him for these things too.

They may be normal things in a family, but I still appreciate them. In fact I appreciate them massively.

I don't give anyone a shout out for anything though!

No one stopping you starting one, there's plenty of Internet left.

That made me chuckle 😄

I think this is a lovely idea for a thread. Those who are denigrating the OP for being grateful for having a good man may not have any idea of how truly awful It can be for those who don’t. Not everyone grows up with good role models and makes sensible choices about life partners. I certainly didn’t - after growing up with an abusive father I chose (not consciously) an abusive husband. And it’s not always easy to leave when you have a bunch of kids (I have three). I have left now and I have an amazing new partner, who is like the good men on this thread. But I am amazed every day by how kind he is, and don’t for a moment take it for granted. So please don’t sneer those who have never been treated badly, you don’t know how lucky you are.

My grandmother taught us that encouragement strengthens Labour, so continue being appreciative of the things he does - basic or grand 🥂.

You win post if the day🤣🤣🤣

@TabbyT ❤️❤️❤️

Surely mutual appreciation of workload is part of a healthy relationship. My dh doesn't NEED praise or thanks for cleaning the kitchen, or getting up early with ds or doing some of the night wake ups. But I know its nice when he recognises the hard work I put into our home and family so why wouldn't I also recognise his mutual effort. I think that in a genuinely healthy relationship where both are pulling their weight equally, that's just helping each other feel appreciated and respected and seen.