That MIL has bought DS an expensive Thomas the tank Train set after I told her we didn't want it?

[TheDevilWearsPrimark]

She has wanted to buy him one for a while. I told her we would prefer Brio, or even a cheaper one that isn't branded.
This morning I got a delivery of a full train set and various trains and accesories.
He is delighted of course, and loves it but I am angry she has spent too much money and gone against our expressed wishes.

Am I just ungrateful?

what did your DH say?

Haven't read all replies, but I'll stick my oar in anyway.
I can really understand why you didn't want a Thomas train set, and why the brio would be better. Thopmas naff as hell, brio nice and wooden and tasteful. Thing is, it just isn;t going to be possible to censor your sons presents in this way, and believe me, I wish it was! imo you would be best off graciously accepting gift and just hoping that she eventually gets the hint re naff gifts. If you're ungrateful about it, if you're anything like me., you'll feel bad in a few weeks or months. Better to just accept it and ebay it if it is replaced by something nicer. Most important thing here is not the gift but your relationship with mil. bshe's only really trying to be nice. Wouldn't worry about price, if she isn't

I haven't spoken to DH yet, for other reasons.
I know he will be pissed off about it too.

Drop hints. She'll probably buy the flip-over table as well.

Then he can do his crafts without disturbing his train set. Boy Utopia.

YABU and you know it.
Your MIL had the cheek to buy your DS a toy that he loves? Where is the big deal? It is her money and his gift. Be grateful that she is interested.
Maybe she should just spend the money on herself. Jeez most MILs seem to get it wrong no matter what they do.

this thread is making me very angry.
YOU ARE ALL MISSING THE POINT.

Perhaps the point is so feeble it needs to be missed. Sorry DWwhatever.

Who is missing what point?

they are missing hte point taht she went against your expressed wishes. she KNEW what you wnted and did the opposite.

(this could be me except that my DH doesn't see my side of it)

Have looked at the link - would be happy with the train set, not happy with the table, as it is a 'permanent' big thing that can't be put away.

So DWPRimark, what are you going to do?

Sorry SirDigby I confused you with another poster.
I agree with what you said entirely. It may well be a lovely expensive gist but we had already said we didn't want it.

which is what i think everyone is overlooking. is doesn't matter that your DS will love it. my DS would love to have his own full size digger but that doesn't mean my MIL shoudl buy him one (thoug i wouldn't put it past her!). he would have loved the set you were going buy him as well.

very sorry to see this thread got so personal and insulting

I completely understand that people think minding stuff like branding is precious, but each to their own, and no need to be so very nasty

But the point IS that it is NOT up to the parent of the recipient to dictate what gift is given!! It is not up to you!! that is the point that YOU are missing!!!

This thread could go on for EVER

they didn't TELL her what to buy they told her what THEY were going to buy. don't you seeeeeeeee

I think we are saying that it is good manners and considerate to check before buying a large, very visible, very expensive toy for a young child that the whole family will have to put up with in terms of space it takes up in the house, etc

I think that's half the problem

HG so what would you do if you got a hideous jumper with snowflakes all over it as a christmas gift from a friend who knew you would hate such a thing?

Or to equate it in size to this gift. A massive snd ugly coffee table.

Well, I'd hide it in the loft and get it out when they came of course. But this isn't a gift for you

Anyway, to re-hash, but why does she buy so much stuff for them when it isn't their birthday or Christmas?

Hi TDWP

Hmmm. I think your MIL sounds controlling (your other thread makes a lot of sense now if that is what your DH is used to). From the point of view that it is a big present and you were asked for input which you gave and were then ignored - YANBU.

However. You may have to relax your viewpoint on aesthetically pleasing toys as your DCs get older. In fact you WILL have to. Take it from someone who hates football kits and whose DS would happily live in them. I have even bought him an Arsenal duvet set! I hate it. I swore blind I would never do it. But I bought it in a fit of something strange (and it was reduced to 10 euros!) and he LOVES it. And - he is now sleeping in his own bed in his own room. Arsenal cover and lots of football posters - not a lot to make him happy - I just close my eyes in his room!

Your DCs will want lots of things that you hate. It's part of them being children and us being adults. We loved the tat when we were little too.

Sorry that this thread has upset you so much.

It is different though Devil, because in that case you could say "how lovely!" and give straight to charity

you can't do that here because it is a present for your son

If I really felt the 'friend' was giving in a purely and simply malicious way, I would make a huge joke of it as in "oh no not another hideous jumper, I'll never wear it you know"

or "oh, more plastic train crap that we don't like, that'll go straight on e-bay"

But I don't think malice is the issue here really, I think it's about control and both of you are butting heads at the moment. Depends on who has the stamina as to who will win this one.

Let us know!

Buda I understand that they will want lots of things that I don't necessarily like or want, it is already happening with food so toys are not so far away.
The fact is that she bought his expensive thing against my wishes and now we have to accommodate it.

I have just spoken to DH , who said 'oh, brilliant'.