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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

That MIL has bought DS an expensive Thomas the tank Train set after I told her we didn't want it?

316 replies

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 10/03/2008 14:36

She has wanted to buy him one for a while. I told her we would prefer Brio, or even a cheaper one that isn't branded.
This morning I got a delivery of a full train set and various trains and accesories.
He is delighted of course, and loves it but I am angry she has spent too much money and gone against our expressed wishes.

Am I just ungrateful?

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 17:31

I think YABU. I understand that she ignored you request and that is annoying.
But I really believe that grandparents have earned the right to spoil their grandchildren a little esp as they usually couldn't afford it for their own children
I bet he'll love it

Megglevache · 10/03/2008 17:31

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SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 10/03/2008 17:32

ignore them all DWP.
it is your house, they are your kids. you have a right to dictate what goes on.
especially (a) something that big and (b) something you had talked about getting yourself.

meemar · 10/03/2008 17:32

Oh, I agree with you MV. I have said earlier that the MIL was wrong to have gone against her wishes.

I just think the reasoning behind not wanting the Thomas trainset in the house is a bit irrational, therefore TDWP should maybe just let it go.

chamaeleon · 10/03/2008 17:32

take it back to mils. tell her that you dont have room for the thomas one and the one you particularly told her you wanted so it is best staying at her house. ditto all the other stuff you dont want.

the people making nasty comments obviously dont have mega controlling mils. if they dont understand just dont listen to them. i would have been upset about some of the nastier comments

TheFallenMadonna · 10/03/2008 17:33

Why is she buying so much stuff for them for no reason?

I think that's the conversation I might be having - or getting DH to have.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 10/03/2008 17:34

MMJ it will stay in his room.
But did you look at the price?I could have built one for 5% of that if we decided we wanted/needed one.

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 17:34

chamaelon- why be that provcative and hurtful to the mil?
She bought her grandson a great gift that he will enjoy

Megglevache · 10/03/2008 17:35

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mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 17:35

But home built ones usually look a bit crappy

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/03/2008 17:36

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themildmanneredjanitor · 10/03/2008 17:36

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SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 10/03/2008 17:37

i think the gift wasn't about making DS happy. it was about sticking it to DWP.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 10/03/2008 17:37

To be honest I'd rather that money went into his trust fund rather than on a useless bulky toy.
Same with the £200 mamas and papas rocking horse she bought for DD

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 10/03/2008 17:39

mmj
I agree with you -MIL's seem to get a raw deal on here!!

chamaeleon · 10/03/2008 17:39

im not saying bin it. we have a rule that if anyone buys anything particularly huge or loud they have to be prepared to keep it at their house! it is rude to send a load of stuff she knows devil doesnt want. her ds will still get to play with it, but devil wont be upset. i dont like passive aggressive people, i find the only way to deal with them is be passive aggressive back. i had a v controlling xmil, so i know how it feels when your wishes for your child (and home!) are completely ignored

Megglevache · 10/03/2008 17:39

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lucyellensmum · 10/03/2008 17:39

oh dear, LEM reminds herself AGAIN to read the whole thread before posting. This has kicked off big styleeeeee.

DWP, i dont think you are being a brat, i think you have a problem with your MIL trying to score points by ignoring your pov. DS has the toy now, and to be fair, the thomas toys are good quality and imo, will stand the test of time, see my last post. I hate thomas books though, have to read at least one a night - uggghh.

I wouldnt have made my initial comment though as it is trite and meant jokingly, i didnt realise you had got upset about this.

I recognise that on the surface, one could be forgiven for thinking you brattish, but we all know how bloody manipulative MILs can be and how us mums take it too heart too. FWIW my mum buys DD anything and everything, all from charity shops, which is great, well it would be, but we hardly have room to move anymore - i try to explain, DD is too old/its too big/its fucking horrible...she just comes up with, oh but its only a pound - grrrr. Mildly irritating i guess, my dad was even worse, i daresay that if he were still about i would need a second house to store all the toys

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/03/2008 17:39

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 10/03/2008 17:40

I actually have planned a very sweet table for them that could flip from a craft table to a train table.

I am rather good at that kind of thing and I love having a 'project'. MIL knew this too.

OP posts:
jangly · 10/03/2008 17:40

Well, to be honest, I think that's fantastic, what she bought. The play table to put it on is an excellent start, and you can add to the trainset until he's got the lot. He would be over the moon! Its the sort of set you can't tear them away from in the toyshop. (and its compatible with brio if you really did want to insist).

SirDigbyChickenCaesar · 10/03/2008 17:41

probably. if the gift giving were of the same sort. (her wishes over my wishes)

themildmanneredjanitor · 10/03/2008 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jangly · 10/03/2008 17:41

Oh, if you mean the GLTC one, that's very expensive, isn't it?

TheBlonde · 10/03/2008 17:42

The table is a big object to get without an advance okay imho

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